It had started on my fingers. Tiny dots you would barely notice speckled the tips of my hands. I hadn't really noticed them, if I did I thought very little of them. Yet I know that's how it had started.
I think I began to panic when they moved up to my knuckles, they were pointed now like the petals of a blooming flower…
Now they were in my palm. A flower grew out of the centre spreading outwards towards my fingers and my wrists.
I stopped leaving the flat. No one could know. If anyone knew.
I thought about wearing gloves, but people would know. They always knew.
It was a week before I had an idea. I sat up and ran to the bathroom. I grabbed the soap from the self and turned on the sink tap. I could wash them off I knew I could. If I just tried hard enough they would come off. I knew they would.
Just a bit longer. I could ignore the pain. Eventually I would see them slip of my hands and down the drain. And then I would be free
I had begun to feel a burning pain now. Every stroke was a challenge but I had to keep trying. I had to.
I stopped. My hands where a deep red blood and my hand dipped lines of blood down the sink. The pain was unbearable, I had rubbed off a layer upon layer of skin. But they were still there. Black marks stood out against my sore red skin, now more visible than ever. Why wouldn't they go?
Knock, the sound ran though the flat. Repeatedly. Every dull note shaking me to the core.
Knock "hello! I know you’re in there, come on I'm worried about you it's being three weeks"
I stayed where I was curled up against my bedroom wall, legs to my chin and my scared hands hidden. I had tried to cut some out but the skin had regenerated in front of my eyes. Dots intact. Leaving a small pink line. As if mocking my attempt. They had gone up my arm now, a stem growing from my flowery palms.
“I’ve left some groceries outside and I've paid your rent for the month... But please Kris tell me what's going on". I waited. Then heard his footsteps, as they faded away. He couldn't know. He must never know.
I crawled to the door and waited till night fell. I pinned my head against the cold metal and listened for any noise. There was no one. I was sure. I moved fast. Opening the door and grabbing the food in less than a second. I couldn't do that before. Move fast like that. That was weird. I just ignored it I had to. Focus on what’s important. No one could know.
If anyone knew...
Bang Bang. The steel frames of the flat rattled. I sunk into myself hidden in my dresser at the very back of the flat. They would go away if I just stayed hidden. I knew they would.
Bang Bang. "Open up this is the FVP open up or we will have to use force" I hid my face in my cursed hands. I hated them. I despised their very existence. Yet they're all I had to comfort me.
BANG. I heard the metal door slam against the floor of my flat. They were inside. But if I stayed here they wouldn't find me. I would be safe. I knew it. I had to know it.
I listen as the heavy footsteps got closer. I closed my eyes. And prayed. To whoever there was to hear. But it didn't work the dresser door swung open. I stared up at the monster before me, its black snout breathed smoke its eyes were round glass holes, black as night that seemed empty of emotion. I gloved hand reached in and grabbed my arm. And as the monster pulled me into the light I realised that I knew nothing at all.
But they knew now.
They all knew.
I kicked and screamed as he dragged me along the carpet floor out of my bedroom and into the hall way. Another monster appeared and took a hold of my legs and together they lifted me off the ground and out of my flat. They carried me along the balcony and down the stairs. People watched as I went past. People I had once called friend did nothing as I was carried past. Some looked on with pity, others with grief, but all looked on with fear. When we reached the bottom of the stairs there was a white van its back doors open wide revealing a dark void within. I started to struggle again. I couldn't go in there I couldn't. But my attempts were in vain. The monsters threw me in and closed the door encasing me in darkness. It swallowed me depriving my senses. I shrank into a ball barely feeling the van move off as it drove me away from my home and into a fate that I dared not think about.
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