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No Turn Unstoned

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The Devil Made Me Do It

It kind of started with a running joke we had, which started in Miami. Long ago, in the early 15oo’s Europe, there was this virus that we still know very little of, especially since it hasn’t reappeared since. It had a very quick onset, was extremely fatal, and it disappeared as quickly as it rose up. They called it ‘sweating sickness’, and it held long before we understood that it was bacterium or viruses doing this, and therefore how to prevent them. Towns were dirty, with garbage and human waste everywhere. Even understanding of proper cooking temperatures or proper hygiene was some centuries removed. Early symptoms of the sweating sickness included unruly panic attacks. I suppose I understand why, though, since once you had it, it was unlikely you would last the day. Our running joke about the sweating sickness came up whenever we went to the Gym to work out, since I am not at all inclined to beef up, and if I worked myself into a sweat by lifting weights; I would go all apeshit on you, and we’d have a good laugh over it. We would also tie in these gymnasium antics with yet another virus called ’Mad Cow Disease”, which affects the central nervous system and cerebrospinal fluid, and though it did mostly affect cows, there are cases where it would cross species to humans, and ends up something I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy. Cases, though very rare, have popped up over the last few years, and there is a reason I mention these two diseases while trying to jumpstart your memory.

One day when you were CDC and I FBI, you called me and asked if I could sit in on a session with you, as you interviewed a hospital patient that showed very unusual symptoms. The patient was a Woman in her thirties who had extremely high fever and blood pressure, and would occasionally sweat blood. She would get sick, and would vomit bile and only bile, even if she had just eaten. She was on morphine drip most of the time you saw her, so unusual behavior was almost expected. In the course of an average day, though, there were times when the Woman broke fever and seemed lucid. During one of these lucid moments, the Woman began confessing to crimes that were considered unsolved. She seemed to know about crimes or details of crimes that were not public information. Many of the details, or crimes themselves, would have been unlikely or even impossible for her to have committed…either because of proximity to them, strength involved in carrying them out, or other matters precluding her ability to do them. That is mainly why you called me in, since I had been profiling criminal behaviors by then. I’ll tell you right now, there’s simply no way she could have been near them, let alone have committed them, and even though she was really ranting at the time, she had no history of psychosis, no criminal record, and no evident reason she should even know of these crimes. And I tell you, this Woman looked just like someone I dated in Miami…and for a while I thought it was. In fact, she looked like a girl I picked up at a gym we were working out at, even while I was joking about sweating sickness and Mad Cow…but, like I said, no criminal record, not even signs of personality disorder or sociopathy…and day by day she seemed to get worse. We looked for everything…blood, urine, spinal fluid, DNA, you name it, and we could find no evidence of illness, virus, anything. She was healthy according to tests, and both of us were as stumped as her Doctors. We even had demonologists come in to see her…we thought of everything. There had been cases similar to this that ended up being parasites or allergies or even demonic possession, yet there was no way this was among them, and you were checking for things you attributed to your Doctoral thesis as signs of illness from extraterrestrial origin. We were pulling our hair out on this one. And then one day we got our answer.

During an interview with her, while she was confessing to what may have well been the Jack the Ripper killings…she started coughing. Once she started coughing, she couldn’t stop. She complained about a tickle in her throat that wasn’t going away. Water didn’t help stop the cough. Morphine didn’t help it. Cough drops were a waste of time. Strangling wasn’t an option, though both of us thought about it. Suddenly, she complained of a hair stuck in her throat. We started looking for it, and did not see it. After a few more minutes passed, the light hit this ‘hair’ in her throat just right. It was you, who had some extended tweezers, or whatever they called this instrument, and after a while you got a hold of this ‘hair’ and pulled it out. The ‘hair’ was not hair, but about the same size, shape and length of a hair strand…one of shoulder-length, if it were to be hair. Yet it was not the color of hair, nor the consistency. It was like a royal purple in color; it was matted or layered, as if several cells stacked up one on top of the other, to create this strand. Because of that, we first thought it to be parasitic, like ringworms, how they seem like a series of stacked cells creating a long strand…but it wasn’t ringworm, or any parasite. Nor was it cellular…or human. In fact, it comprised of no elements we know. That strand we got was tested every which way, and came back unknown. Ironically, we all ruled out extraterrestrial origin, because of your Doctoral paper. All we have to base anything on extraterrestrial origin goes by the criteria you set up in your paper, and this strand met none of those. Within a day or two, the Woman began showing lesions on her skin, mostly on her forearms, along the lines of a herpes simplex 1 sore, and a day or two later, these fibers similar to the one from her throat began to emanate out of the sores, and in five different colors; red, camel, royal purple, teal and turquoise. None comprised of any elements we know of. Amazingly, once treated for all symptoms other than the fibers, she became well enough, or at least symptom-free, to be released from the hospital. There is a disease we now call Morgellons that also features fibers like these, and some of the same symptoms as this Woman, and though there is no known cure, or even no known origin…since symptoms other than the fibers can be somewhat tapered, people seemed to leave it alone. I know that you are not at all satisfied with the way they left it just going on, as if it never happened, but it doesn’t seem to spread, nor does it really endanger or terribly impact those affected by it in the long run, so they basically pretend as though it is nothing beyond a simple flu.

But that was the case that brought us together, and it was the case that left you and I the ones to call when really unusual shit happens to people and stumps Doctors or Agents to the point they are inspired to call upon us. As it turns out, it was the case that opened the door for us to work on the case we are working on now, and will resume once your memory has returned to you. That case was much simpler that the one we are on to now…and it is time we start talking about that one. Be warned, however, that a lot of things with this current case will oblige you to turn away from conventional thought, belief, or even personal comfort. So even once your memory is returned, it will seem as though there wasn’t much point in getting it back…as it is now a whole new world

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