Mind Logs from The Cerberus Order

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Tape 8


The children love the snow, surprisingly winter is the happiest time of the year, despite the long, cold nights. There's so much more to do in winter especially with the snow falling thick, but not so thick you couldn’t do a thing. Winter is the time for fun. At least for the children it is. Anyone past the age of thirteen has a different, bleaker view on the world y’know? They’re the ones who ’ave to venture outside the thick, concrete walls to deal with the monsters so children of the future can grow up in a free, peaceful world.

“Do you remember Christmas Sammy?”
“Indeed I do sir! Oh it was such a pleasant time. The children could be outside all night with sleds and building snowmen!” Ah Sammy, I really hated the robot models when they first arrived. But having met Sammy after the collapse, well, he saved me. He didn’t have to since I wasn’t his master, but he was a helper and help he did.
“And snowball fights! They don’t do that now do they sir?”
“No heh. Nah they don’t. Risk of infection if it got in an eye or somethin’.”
“Indeed sir.” He sounds so robotic now, like the first models did. I’ve fixed him up so many time but his voice box that once gave him a delicate human tone is damaged beyond repair and tryin’ to replace it would likely damage it further, poor guy.
“I must go sir, I think Millie wanted some help.”
“No worries Sammy, thanks for the company.”
“Of course sir.” He hovered off outside. Once, he walked like a human, but he’s retained quite a bit of damage over the last few years. We couldn’t find a functioning pair of legs, but there was this peculiar girl who was able to rig him up to a hover-board which did the trick, kids love it anyway. I wonder what she’s up to now.

The snow began to fall again, it reminded me of that girl. She’d been through hell, ol’ Dust looked after her for a while some years back. She wasn’t much of a talker, but she was from the old days like me, only, we’d have very different lives after the collapse. It was understandable she didn’t want to remember. I did some terrible things with The Order, but she’d been with them from the start of this mess, lord knows what kinda shit they made her do.

Can’t remember her name. The virus been startin’ to change in me. It sometimes does that, mutate. Been exposed to too much ya see. It used to make me strong, never agin’ which kinda sucks when yer already fifty, but I’ve got to see a lot of the world ’cause of it.
I’ve lasted over four hundred years before. It’s shitty really, I got bit in the early days, year four I think it was. But I hid it because I would’da been killed otherwise. I actually forgot until almost three months later and someone was tellin’ me they were immune. Turns out so was I and sixteen years in, it started to sink in that I was immortal.

It’s in the eyes. They become pale but you can still see. In fact your senses heighten. You go through this odd process of fear then euphoria when you realise you ain’t gonna become like one of those monsters for a while. When you get infected, (an’ theres many ways you can) you either die, turn or you become one of the immortals. But sometimes your body gives in after a while, can’t handle hostin’ the virus no more and it mutates an’ then yer turn or die.

I can feel it now. Haven’t told no one though, don’t want them worryin’. When the time is right I’ll tell ol’ Dust, he’s my oldest most loyal friend. I owe him that much. I won’t tell Sammy he only has programmed feelings, not real emotion, he won’t understand.

I think I’m ready to meet my makers.

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