The Structural Silence (Book 1 of The Transition of Pinn)

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An audience (Chapter 37)

Ivy:

Eyes, so many eyes. I have to turn away from them in embarrassment, but then I come face to face with the dark worried eyes of Giddean. His eyes are so intense that it is hard to look at them. I lower my own eyes to my blanket covered body just to escape.

“I’m fine” I mutter.

He won’t listen. He doesn’t believe me. He leans over me protectively as if he can ward off what ails me with his presence.

“Get me the doctor from the women’s center” he says his eyes still on me, watching I suppose for any sign of my imminent demise. The four men at the door hesitate, looking at each other.

Giddean takes a moment before looking up at them, “Now!”

Two of the household staff scramble off leaving just Sean with his arms crossed leaning against the wall next to the door and James who is whispering something in his ear.

This has been the worst morning, it really it has. I woke up to strong cramps that made leaving the bed generally undesirable, almost impossible. I hadn’t had a period since I had been kidnapped, stress I suppose, and I guess it decided to come back with a vengeance. Lucky me. I obviously had nothing on me. No pads, no tampons, who knows what they use over here. I should have asked Elena where to get these things when I had a chance, but who thinks of these things? I had finally managed to get myself off the bed to search for a wash cloth or something to use when Giddean broke in. And thus my nightmare began.

Giddean has me wrapped up in blankets, lying on the bed as though I have the worst cold. Instead, though, I am too hot with the blankets heating me up. He sits next to me causing the bed to dip towards him. His hand is forever stroking my hair, an unnatural feeling as we are not intimate, not even close to it.

I decide to try again and try to sit up, “Giddean, I am fine. I -“

“Lay down!” he barks and I give in and lay back down. My cramping is still bad, but the situation is uncomfortable enough that is provides some distraction from my pain. But I’m too tired from all the pain and bloating to bother arguing with Giddean right now, even as I slowly bleed into the bedding.

I see Sean nod to something James says and I am trying to plead with them to help me with my eyes. Giddean has been fussing over me for 15 minutes now, it’s just weird.

“Hey, Giddean” Sean begins carefully, “I think it’s just-“

Just that moment the Captain waltzes in, interrupting Sean who then slinks back to the wall.

“I heard there was some drama- ah Ivy!” the Captain exclaims with his largest smile. This is all I need, more of an audience.

“Uh, hi Captain” I say trying to sit up again only to pushed back down by Giddean. I don’t much appreciate Giddean’s manhandling.

The Captain begins walking towards the bed.

“Hi Ivy!” He grins me before walking next to Giddean and places a hand on his shoulder “What’s going on Giddean?”

Giddean’s eyes which had been watching the Captain approach turn back to me, “she’s bleeding”

“It’s just my period, its normal, it happens-”

“You hear that Giddean, it’s just her monthly bleeding” the Captain says looking only Giddean as he rubs his back.

I huff at being interrupted yet again, but I don’t say any more. It’s clear that I am not deemed the knowledgeable about my own body.

“You don’t know that.” There is anger in Giddean’s voice, barely contained anger.

“Giddean, She isn’t Julia-”

“Julia?” I ask.

“Get out” Giddean growls quietly

“She isn’t, this is differ-“

“Get out!” he yells, standing up causing the Captain to take a step back and me to flinch.

The Captain just raises his hands in surrender before walking out the door, giving me one last look before he exits the room.

“Both of you as well” Giddean glares at James and Sean. Sean pushes off the wall and glides out the door as though he couldn’t care less. James hesitates, but before ducking out I see him acknowledge someone in the hallway.

“Fucking morons…” I hear Giddean curse under his breath.

“What seems to be the problem, Senator?” I see a middle-aged man with peppered hair stroll in. He carries the black bag of a doctor that I have only seen in movies.

“Help her” Giddean points to me and the doctor’s eyes slide in my direction.

With Giddean by the doorway, I am finally able to sit up. I give the doctor a weak smile. All this fuss is for nothing. A waste of everyone’s time. Ugh, I just hope the doctor isn’t too mad about it.

“It’s nothing” I begin again.

The doctor doesn’t even acknowledge what I said and turns back to Giddean, “If you would wait outside for a moment, Senator”

Giddean gives a curt nod, clearly unhappy, but not willing to argue. He exits the room and closes the door. I can hear him pacing the hallway as the doctor comes near.

“What seems to be the problem?” The doctor has a gentle voice but a stern smile. His square face giving off the vibes that the gentleness is veil over an irritated mood.

I explain to the doctor my predicament and apologize profusely for the interruption to what has to be his busy schedule. He nods to my explanation while looking me over, I guess checking that I am alright? I suppose a laywoman like myself cannot be trusted.

“Alright all done. Here is some painkiller to help with any discomfort and a few napkins” He grabs small bottle filled with white tablets from his bag and put it on my nightstand and then places what looks like small thick white washcloths next to it “I’ll let the Senator know that you are fine.”

“Thank you doctor”

He smiles his fake smile and walks out of the room carrying his bag with him.

I can hear him talking to Giddean in a hushed voice like he has some secret to tell. I swear if he tells him anything other than I am fine I am going to throw a fit.

After a few moments, Giddean appears in the doorway. His eyes search me like he is insuring that I am okay. I do my best not to roll my eyes at his worry. Seriously, how can a guy ignore me for weeks and then suddenly become an attentive puppy dog?

He waves behind him and before coming to join me on the bed once more. His hand rests on my blanket covered calf. Following him is the clanking of dishes being rolled on a cart as one of the servants pushes a meal next to my bed. I guess I am still too much of an invalid to move, damn it. I would really like to get out of these soiled sheets.

“Uh, Giddean I would like to clean up…”

He looks surprised as if he forgot about the blood slowly seeping into the bedding. Trust me I didn’t, the sticky wetness causes the sheets to cling to my skin uncomfortably. I just want this day to be over.

“Right um… I’ll let you clean.” His eyes slide to the cart “Brandon will bring you some fresh linens and whatever else you need” He gestures towards the servant, “I’ll be back in 15 minutes for our lunch”

Our lunch?

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