Error code173: This is a synopisis. Synapse? Synopsis?... That’s how you say it right, synopsis? Synopsis.
Honestly the book is more of a found footage summary of a pretty lacklustre teenage boy in the middle of a bloody war and a premature raging dumpster fire of an existential life crisis. There is much force in attempt to prove my witticism is in fact witty, and my mush of a brain can develop intelligent thought (which is difficult when you’re named after an ancient cake topper). There is also a boat load of gayness, none of which was planned but subsequently trolled into my dilapidated eighteen-ish existence. Which soon in this book becomes my nineteen-ish existence. The tale is truthful to the complete and utter spiral of the total societal eyesore that is my town to a shattered rubble of technological spitz and spaz. Of course much of my existence has to do with that particular turn of events, but fret not, it was not merely I who masterminded what technically becomes the end of our world ( and I, quite frankly am not one to hide behind bullet holed technicalities). Through the much needed help of a guild of 8 semi-skilled individuals with more than 9 pairs of eyes between them, what seemed initially like a diabolical ploy to shatter what is left of Earth ( horrifically engineered metal rust) , what is , basically organised debris held in place with layers and layers of paper thin ferromagnetic antimatter became a reasonably major extinction-preventing event. Although it was supposed to be a rather uneventful half term it became more like an extended wade through swamps of other peoples shit, ( I mean both literally and figuratively), fighting seemingly never ending battles betwixt two species involving a narrow slit at the end of the propagation of a series of waves in deep space, misusing ancient tools, and hunting hills for condoms and soy creamer, (which in my opinion was pretty friggen rich). All in all the few months completely panned out the way I imagined, I never really got much school work done, and watched a shitload of makeup videos on Youbetoobe, which, evidently, were put to practice in a very serious sting operation.
What could have easily been a sluggish half term, proved to be of more consequence, pretty much rupturing of an already failing system of worlds.
Pretty gnarly shit isn’t it, yes, yes it is.
-Marzipan Kimberly Sepina