Chapter Thirteen | Mine
I could feel her squirm under my body, gun in right, left right next to her head, forbidding her to move. I gently pressed the barrel of the gun against her temple and watched her honey-brown eyes fly open in shock, her mouth open, chest heaving. “Sh, sh, sh. It’s okay. Everything will be alright, as long as you stay still,” and I cocked the gun. Right away, her body went tense. I stared into her eyes, feeling a smirk play across my face.
“Vik - Viktor... what are - are you do... ing?” God. How could she not see what her saying my name and speaking that way does to me? I could listen to her all day; her voice thick and sweet like honey, but raspy and dark like the sound of alcohol taking over your voice the next morning. I’d heard that voice in her too many times in the past; thankfully, after her alcohol poisoning, she got help and went to rehab a month after the war ended.
“God, Jordeyn. You have no idea what you’re doing to me.” My thumb grazed her jawline, feeling the strength of it beneath my fingertip. Strong and defined; the very meaning of her soul - taking nothing from anyone around her. She didn’t need any of us. She had herself, and she knew that she was enough for herself: independent, and strong-willed.
Just like Jay.
Everything hit me like a boulder, threatening to suffocate me alive. I felt my hands tremble, and I my arms began to shake and go weak. I let the gun drop, as the sound of metal on wood echoed around the room and felt a hot sweat and cold chill dance down my spine. The room spun like a carousel on overdrive, and I could feel my breakfast threaten to reak havoc on the floor. I felt Jordeyn shift under me, and this time, I didn’t stop her. She sat up quickly, not shaken by anything despite having a loaded gun pointed at her just seconds before.
“Viktor. Viktor look at me, please. Please look at me.” She encased my face with her hands, forcing me to look at her.
My chest still rose and fell rapidly with every strangled breath.
“Breathe. You need to breathe.” My arms gave out on me as I collapsed into her lap facing the ceiling. I felt her firmly grip my shoulders and torso, helping me shift to my side, and her legs moving out from beneath me. And out of nowhere, her soft touch was gone. I scrambled for her hand - wherever it may be.
“Jor - Jordeyn... Where are - are y - you? Help... please... now...”
Her arms wrapped around me, cocooning me in her warmth and peace. My still raced like I just ran a marathon, but slowly, oh so slowly, I could feel it calming down and beating in time with hers as if we were one body, mind, and soul. “I’m here. And I’m not leaving you.”
Those were the last words I remember before my eyes danced shut; the darkness engulfing me in its arms.
My mind is blank.
I remember nothing prior to whatever happened minutes... no, hours, before my eyes - lead heavy - tried to open, letting the rays of the morning sun kiss my mind. The weight of the comforter was relaxing and welcoming, and her arms. Her arms were the only thing keeping me from lashing out and panicking; they lace around my waist, and I could feel her soft breath against my back. Carefully, as not to wake her, I shifted in her soft grip, threading my arm under her neck, and moved her, so her head lay on my chest. I ran my fingers through her black hair, shining golden brown where the rays hit her. I wondered if her hair fascinated me because it appeared the same shade as mine, but no. Hers was unique; the darkest of brown, where in the shadows of the trees it was a prepossessing shade of black, but in the light of the sun and angels, she appeared goddess like - her hair shining different shades of gold and pale brown. Her lips, perfect, soft, and full, were parted and a soft snore escaped her nose. Everything about her was perfect. I wondered when I had developed a soft spot for her. No one ever had received that privilege.
And if I break her?
I couldn’t. It was as simple as that. A soul as broken as hers could shatter in a matter of seconds if she weren’t handled with enough care. She’d been through too much and it was my fault. Even Jay had told me not to tell her about the family situation. But of course, I had to be the ‘hero’ and ruin it all for her. I was the cause of her sadness, the cause of her family’s death, and the cause of everything wrong and evil in her life. The unbearable weight was slowly coming back, and my hands began shaking rather violently.
Now I thought it wouldn’t get better and the weight of all my wrongdoings would get the best of me, the scent of honey and smoke filled my senses. Her scent. I closed my eyes, taking massive breaths of air. I felt her shift and roll onto her side of the bed, her hair in all directions, soft lashes shut firmly over her eyes, and her breaths calm and quiet.
How could one be so perfect?
I didn’t know the answer, and I probably never would. But nothing mattered. I knew it and hopefully, so did she; I loved her. I loved her as my own, loved her as my equal, and loved her as someone who i would never let escape my grasp. She didn’t realize the things she made me feel, and it was gut wrenching. But the only thing she did need to know, is that no matter what, I’d protect her like family.
I creeped out of bed, taking small, minimalistic steps, carefully moving so the bed didn’t bounce back from the loss of my weight too forcefully. I took the tray on her bedside and stalked to the kitchen. I could hear Jay talking to someone in the kitchen, but I don’t remember him telling me that we’d have guests over. And that’s when I saw him.
The song of a bitch who had pursued the purest soul of the six of us.