Chapter Fourteen | Discuss
“No. I don’t intend on letting her anywhere out of my sight.”
“I understand you want to protect her, Jay, I really do. But she isn’t your sister and now she knows. She doesn’t trust anyone anymore, and I’m not going to lie, I can’t blame her, and it hurts. I’ve tried my best to help you raise her, but she was both too young and old to understand that she might also be going to the Academy in a few years.
“You know that not one of us - Blayne, Cayden, Viktor, and I - want this for her. She has too much to offer in the world, and hopefully a bright and brilliant future without the dread of putting her life in danger, protecting a city that won’t even give two glances in her direction, care about what she’s doing fo them, or the fear of disappointing you.
“You’re the youngest highest ranking guard in centuries. She feels she isn’t going to do well enough to satisfy you, thanks to the lies you’ve told her all your life.”
“Azyriah. My God, you know that I’ll care for her no matter what even though things are complicated. Yes, I understand she may not have talked to me for a few months ever since she found out, but that won’t change the love I feel for her. She is my sister by soul, love and breath. Not blood. Please realize, blood never means family. Cayden is a prime example - he despises his family; they’ve never cared for him and they never will-”
“They see him a failure and we’re the ones who carried him out of the hopeless ditch. By no means am I saying you’re like them, but realize Jordeyn cannot break for she is falling down the path from her past once again. I don’t want her to lose hope and give up. She means too much to me - us - I can’t let her lose herself again. I just... It can’t... please - I need... I-”
The pressure in my chest increased: like the weight of a million suns burning through my chest, threatening to eat me alive. Tears stabbed my eyes and my breath hitched in my chest, allowing no release and the tears falling down my face. The feeling of weakness killed me. Forever, have I tried to appear stronger than I truly am, but never, has the feeling gotten to me this badly.
“What gotten into you?”
This asshole. Why. Why did he just have to simply exist? His breathing alone was enough to provoke me and throw a chair at his head. I’d done it before - breaking his arm, ribs, leg and all.
“Fuck. Off.” My breathing was astonishingly not shaken, in comparison to my hand, which was gripping my pants - soft, sky blue corduroy - rather harshly to prevent my entire arm from shaking. Never in my life, has Viktor Frazier appeared more punchable.
“I’m going to be completely honest with you, Az. I should be the one angry with you, since it was you who decided it’d be best to pursue her.”
“I- What the fuck are you talking about? You know for a fact that I would never, in my life, take advantage of someone, or try to do anything with them without their consent. It should be you, who we’re worried about considering what happened a little over a year ago-”
“Are you still hung up over that? My God. How shallow do you have to possibly be to-”
“Don’t go calling me shallow, when I respect women, instead of trying to fuck her soul out against the wall. I mean yeah, if my future significant other wanted that I wouldn’t complain, but if she wanted to take it slow, I’m perfectly happy with that, for her comfort around me, is more important than anything else in the world.”
“Then please, explain freely, what Jordeyn was talking about when she said you had a ‘miscellaneous hook-up.’ Inlighten me.”
I was in utter disbelief. Did he really think I’d go that low - take someone’s innocence when they were most vulnerable? “I’m sorry, but I think you’re referring to yourself. I, most definitely will never, in my life, sink as low as you have.”
“Oh please, those past times were mutual. We were both at a low point-”
“And you still think that’s okay?”
“Well, yeah. I guess; It’s not like it was non-consensual.”
“What exactly did you say to Jordeyn before she told you about this ’hook-up?”
“That she was mine, and no one else could have.”
His ass was mine; I could guarantee that. He can’t go around claiming women, especially when he can’t keep a stable relationship with someone for more than a week. He knew this. I know he did. I turned, my back facing him, and my eyes staring at the blank space on the wall. I processed whatever he said, and all of a sudden, everything clicked into place. She had created what was soon to be a rumor, in order to protect herself against Viktor - her friend - and it had worked. It took her saying we were together for a night just so he would do whatever he was planning.
“You know what, yes. She and I did hook up, and it was intentional, not miscellaneous. It’s also the thought of her having to tell you that we did end up doing it so you didn’t pressure her into anything. She’s your friend, Viktor. Your. Friend. She has a right to feel safe around you and reach out to you if she needs anything, and right now, she can’t. Because she has to live with the fear that if she does, you’re going to push yourself onto her, making her believe it’s going to make everything better. But in reality, you know it won’t. You just want her body. Not her kindness or care for everyone around her or the will she has to live her life to the fullest and take no shit from those around her.”
His face turned a deep maroon, rage filling his eyes, jaw and neck. He’d snap soon, and I wanted him to. I needed a reason to ram his head into the wall and walk away without a second glance, but he didn’t. He took a rather large, unsteady breath, and turned to walk up the stairs, most likely to his room.
I was grateful, but my nerves had to be calmed somehow. Blayne always recommended coffee, so grabbing a cup - decaf - I added milk and creamer with no sugar.
I liked the bitterness. It was weird. The strange sting of the grounds coating my tastebuds sent a type of satisfying energy to course through me, immediately taking the migraine that was slowly building to leave. It wasn’t something that I experienced often, but it was amazing. My eyes shut, savoring whatever the coffee was doing to me. But of course, a loud crash came from upstairs, ruining my time trying to calm down. Footsteps ran down the stairs, but thinking it was Jay, I stayed put. But no. It just had to be Viktor.
“What the fuck do you want now? It’s not like I can take back my actions.” taking the cup in both hands and swirling the drink around, watching rings form on the sides.
“No, but I can knock you into next year.” Immediately, my eyes darted up and eyed him up and down - a metal bat around his shoulder, and a brick in his other hand.
“You’re going to knock my head in with a bat and brick? Really Viktor, what do I need to give you in order to make you happy?” And of course, the next words flew out of mouth too quickly, “parents?” And the line was crossed. His rage was feral, and a predatory growl emitted form the back of his throat. Out of pure defense, I threw the coffee cup at him, nearly hitting his head and watching a dark stain appear on the cupboards behind him. Red edged his eyes and he easily stepped around the table in three swift steps, and darted for me.
Out of instinct, I ran to Jordeyn’s room, knowing he’d have to be quiet, but it was Viktor we were talking about. The door banged open, and immediately, I went as close to Jordeyn as I could, using her as a shield, knowing he probably wouldn’t attempt anything.
“Get out of bed and end this how you started it.” I tried to contain my laughter at the sight of him just standing there yelling in a loud whisper.
Gently shaking her, I knew she was in a deep sleep - no response. “You really want me to? After I broke your ribs, arm, and leg? You can’t even stand properly. You’re always propped on something when you are,” motioning to the bat he was leaning on.
“That’s beside the point. I want to watch your face as I pound your skull in.”
I laughed. All I could do was laugh at the absurd suggestion. He really thought he could walk away after saying shit like this? I’d burn myself alive before giving into whatever game he was now playing.
I just couldn’t.
“I said stop. Laughing.”
“I can’t. Isn’t that obvious?” The words coming out ragged and breathless in between fits of laughter.
Out of nowhere, the bat came down near near my leg and I jumped towards the headboard. “What the fuck? Are you trying to kill me?”
“No. Just trying to start a fight.”
“That’s pretty evident.” And I walk over to him, pride and self-assurance leaking out of every pore in my body.
“So, you’re now confident enough to do it?”
“No.” And grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, he threw him out of the room, and barred the door with a chair under the handle. Ignoring his ceaseless attempts at re-entering, slipping off my shoes and laying under the covers, lacing my arm carefully under Jordeyn’s pillow and waist, breathing in her calm scent, and falling asleep to the silent pattering of our heartbeats.