Chapter Eight | Feelings
“What are we gonna do?”
“I’m not sure. It’s not like we can spend every single second of the night with her.”
“You know we don’t have to you.” Azyriah whispered. His voice thick from crying.
“What are you whispering about? You know that I’m here right?” Jordeyn had woken. She felt a migraine coming and groaned in pain.
“Thank God, you woke up. We thought you died.” Viktor chuckled, and immediately shut up with the death stare given by Azyriah.
“What are you talking about?” She began to sit up, and blood drained from her face.”
“Absolutely not,” Azyriah sang, “you’re staying in bed laying down, while we figure out why you had this ‘dream’ of yours.” He rushed over to her and smacked a hand across her chest.
“It was a nightmare. Please tell me you haven’t heard of them. I want to make fun of you because of it.” She retorted, lazily picking up his arm and throwing it back at him.
“Out for twenty hours and you’re still you’re snarky, annoying, usual self,” Viktor vocolized, rather than thought, “good. I was getting bored and annoyed with the sad, depressed, sulky Jordeyn.” Azyriah tried to contain his laughter but failed miserably, doubling in half.
“That’s funny. You know? That’s a real good one.” She snapped. She stumbled out of bed and looked at herself in the mirror behind them.
She looked thin, and weak. Almost attenuated in a way, “how long did you say I was asleep for?”
“Twenty hours. Why?”
“I look like a damn stick.” She turned to look at her back. Her dress shirt was wrinkled and stained with tears. “And, who’s tears are these? I don’t remember crying... It doesn’t matter. Where are we going?”
Azyriah and Viktor eyed each other suspiciously. Never, had Jordeyn forgotten something. Maybe her lunch money or homework, but never an event that happened in the past 48 hours.
“You don’t, how do I say this? Uhhh, remember crying?”
“Not at all. Why? Did I cry? I never cry.”
“You had a dream that- WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?” Viktor screeched. Azyraih gave him a look. Not just any look. The look. The look your mom gives you when you’re doing something wrong, or when she knows that you lied about not eating the last cookie or slice of cake. He dragged Viktor into the bathroom and tried speaking with him in a calm manner.
“I will kill you in front of her. I don’t care at this point. You’re a jackass, and I hope you realize that. She doesn’t need those memories right now. She doesn’t remember anything, and we should keep it that way. And please, don’t look at me like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You hated the way she looked all broken and miserable. I could see that you wanted to be there for her every single second of that breakdown. If I didn’t know any better or if I wasn’t you’re friend and just a stranger, I’d say that you actually had feelings for her.” Azyriah reread the last words he spoke and chuckled quietly, “who am I kidding? You’re Viktor Frazier for God’s sake. You can’t feel anymore.” He saw Viktor with his head bowed and back to him. “Wait, you don’t actually have feelings or care for her, do you?” Nothing. ”Do, you? Damn it Viktor, answer me. Do you, or do you not-”
“I don’t know. I don’t fucking know what I feel anymore. Yesterday I cried for the first time since I was a child. You know that. She makes me soft and I despise it. I hate the way that she looks absolutely breathtaking when she’s walking into a room, and the way she smiles. Damn, Az, I’ve never seen someone look like that.” He smiled. He never smiled. What the fuck? Why was he smiling?
“Oh. My. God.” Azyriah chuckled, “Viktor Frazier, my man! You have a-”
“Don’t say it. Don’t you dare fucking say it.”
“You, my friend, have a crush on Jordeyn Matthews.” Tears were brimming his eyes from the pressure of not letting his laughs echo off the walls.
“Damn you. I’ve had enough. I don’t have a crush on Jordeyn. I mean yeah, I may have had a few one-night-stands here and there, but that doesn’t mean anything.”
“Exactly. You haven’t tried anything with Jordeyn in how long? Six, seven months?”
“I told you. You have a crush on Jordeyn.”
“I will kill you if you say anything.” He was turning beet red. His black hair standing out in contrast to his eyes. Viens bulged out of his neck and his jaw was clenched. He stared at Azyriah’s soul through his eyes and doubled over in laughter. “I have, I have a crush on, on Jordeyn Matthews.” He wheezed and coughed supporting himself on Azyriah’s shoulder. “This has to be the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard come out of your mouth.”
Azyriah punched him in the stomach. “Please, rethink how you described her, and then tell me if you still think it’s not true. I’ll wait.” He watched the gears turn in his head. His eyes widened with twenty different emotion. “See, I told you.”
“Oh my God, oh my God, how do I make it stop? I don’t catch feelings for people. Make it stop, make it stop!” He ran around the bathroom trying to look for something that’d knock him out in under five minutes. Azyriah watched him run around like a boy chasing a girl on the playground, wheezing like a teakettle.
“You can’t... You can’t just get rid of these feelings.” He said between fits of laughter, “it takes time. You care for her, Viktor. Be proud of yourself that you still actually have the potential to feel something. Most people can’t.”
Viktor stopped in his tracks and turned on his heels to face him. He took three long strides across the length of the bathroom and embraced him in a chest-crushing hug, “I love you, you know?”
“Oh, believe me, I know plenty.”