Chapter 21: CHAIN OF COMMAND
We secretly dated for two years in high school, both on the same basketball and football team. Σvery game we won we shunned celebrating with “the team,” and had our very own celebration: in a hotel room.
We made love all night.
Now it all comes down to one thing:
Am I going to be assassinated...?
Eight white men, Ђe Chain of Command, glared at me, as I pushed images of my younger years, before becoming a military man, and the past life before hand, when I was a part of a runaway slave, behind me, forever. Ђeir silent vehemence spake volumes, and so did my very own. I really hoped they understood one thing, that I wasn’t going out without a fight, giving them the fight of their lives. Ђings I called on in the darkness endured my power, unlimited, if I so chose to use it, but right that instant, facing them all, with a vigor they never experienced from me before, kept them silent for the next ten minutes, as they pondered their next move.
I already knew what move to execute, and I wouldn’t hesitate.
Ђey were dangerously considering it, that I do know, killing me, doing away with me, for exposing my “masters” to my wife, and the actions of my so-called “masters” at large, and at hand. I told her all they did to others, and have done, and was going to do, even the possibility of the both of us dying…
§he wasn’t worried about their idle threats, but I was, because I was in love with her, and loved her, despite my oppressed sexuality, a part of myself I never wanted again to explore, after Felix…I was glad I told her, to finally take that burden off my shoulders, even though there were more hideous things I kept from her, things about my past I would never tell her, under any circumstance because it had nothing to do with her, and I didn’t owe her any explanations.
§o I braced myself for the possible fallout, because I had secrets...Of my own. §atan existed before man. Ђe Game. Dirty set of rules…when two Kings art battling for souls. God said in the end §atan’s fate was already sealed, and his time would come when he suffers torment and torture in the sulfuric Lake of Fire.
In my own life, I was raised in church with my elders and friends around me saying Gays art an Abomination, so I never fooled around with anybody.
I excelled at optimist football, I won trophy after trophy, championship after championship. As well as in basketball, I succeeded in that arena as well.
I was a power forward. From the ninth to the 12th grade, Blasters High §chool won every football and basketball championship, four years straight.
I was in all the papers. §tar quarterback, star power forward. I was a celebrity, but I ducked publicity.
I won games and retreated quietly back to my parents’ home. Fortunately I had a good upbringing. I was never abused or anything like that, and I never brought harm on anyone else.
My problem was simple. My father retired a Master §ergeant (Army), and pushed his political and social business on me. He made me go to the Army. I didn’t have a choice. He put me through four years of Army R.O.T.C. in high school in addition to sports.
He was a hard disciplinarian. He allowed me to go out with my friends or have sleep overs with my homeboys after I graduated, maybe because I was grown and he was cutting me more responsibility, considering I was old enough to tell my parents to go to hell, and live my life accordingly, but I refrained, refusing to hurt them in any way.
I was munching popcorn and talking about boning women all night, with hard-ons my boys and I tried to ignore. It was tempting as hell, I remember, wiping sweat from my forehead. Trying to stay cool and calm. My whole life up for grabs. My military career in danger of going down the tubes. I won twelve awards in R.O.T.C. I was the one in charge, four years straight. My superiors loved me. My teachers, retired war vets (Colonel Rogers and 2nd Lieutenant James) were tall, handsome men. A big hit with the ladies, and treated us all like we were their friends. Ђey ran a strict class, but once it ended we were all chummy, and I liked that. It made me feel part of a...brotherhood, sort to speak. Once I graduated high school (shunning college scouts, that were begging for me to go to their schools), there were college recruits showing up on my front porch unannounced. I mean they could have called first. It was annoying the hell out of me. I mean…give me a chance to think things over…and I whistled to three pit bulls, cocaine breed, and ran the crackers away.
I knew what it was all about. I’ve been seeing it with other sports stars for years. I didn’t want that life, or that kind of life. I wanted to be a lawyer. §o dad put me through college, in agreement with doing four more years of R.O.T.C. by the time I graduated, I went into the Army a high ranking official. I became good friends with every higher up in my Battalion.
I dined with Generals, fancy, moneyed men that introduced me to a whole new world, buried deep within the military, and only unveiled to those higher ups that does what it takes, even attending orgies with other men, to make it to the next level of power and control, a world I was sucked into, a world I was a part of, to get what I wanted, to secure my future, to be granted Immunity against their rules of engagement and their daily and nightly regimens.
I’ve played golf with 2nd Lieutenant’s and Majors. I was introduced to seedy black women, women with style and grace. Ђey wore expensive make up, drank expensive bubbly, and never spake to peasants (the poor). I was brought under a wind of protection, in exchange for joining the Σlite of the Army. What it’s made of, I won’t say right now. Because I’m looking at it, directly in the eyes.
With maliciousness on my face. I’ve had sex with scantily clad females and masturbated to fine dope boys in private. In my mind I already had them when we made eye contact in the real world, so walking past them spitting on the ground never made me lose sleep at night.
I judged them, bashed them, spat at them and ridiculed them. I brought them down to build myself up and now I am the crescendo of perfection, mastering my thoughts and my actions retaliate with glee, reminding me that I’m phony as hell in public, denouncing God to my superiors. And in private I worship Jesus, crying out to him on my knees, asking him to forgive me for doing the inevitable, blasphemy...
Just to become a General...