I AM SCARED. PART ONE.
"Yes. His name is Yundoran and he's my friend. Best friend. What are you reading?"
"These are poems. They're beautiful. So beautiful that I wanted to compose my own," it said and handed me a piece of paper.
Although there were only a few words, I felt such joy that I again experienced the most impossible happiness.
"If you don't mind, you could read me what I wrote. I want to hear it from your mouth," Moonlight told me.
My heart was shrinking. Either for pain or for joy.
Suddenly my voice trembled.
"In the night silence, among the stars, I saw a man, and he reminded me of life."
"I have only now realized that there should be a rhyme in the verses. But I just wrote down what was in my mind," Moonlight said as if “he” felt ashamed.
"I'd like you to read to me. I want to hear how these verses sound when you read them," Moonlight said and looked at me like never before.
I've only known this creature for a few days, but I felt like I'd known “him” my whole life. And it seemed to me too ordinary that I felt funny again. But this time, I didn't dare laugh. Instead, I sat down next to this creature and took the book in my hands and began to read.
Time passed by us.
Time didn't concern me, but it concerned Moonlight. Time bent me, but passed through this creature.
I had an eternity ahead of me, but this creature had only five years.
(I will define this creature as He or Him, even if it has no gender.)
While I read beautiful words about love, about friendship, about anger, I thought about him. At some point, I even wanted Moonlight to read my mind, so that he (it) would know that I was having a hard time and that I was suffering. But he (it) did not dare to read my thoughts, he only looked at me with the purest look, and I just kept reading the poems I knew, trying to make my voice louder and more tender.
When I stopped, Moonlight, looking at my reflection in the mirror suddenly said, "I understood poetry. But I want to understand the world. Is it true that I should never leave this house?”
“Why do you think so?”
"You didn't want your friend to see me."
"That's not the point. I'll introduce you to him. Just not now. So you want to see the world. But you know, I have to disappoint you, this world isn't as beautiful as this poetry. You're not going to like where you are."
"But you live in this world. And if you live in this world, this world must be perfect," Moonlight suddenly quoted one quote that was written on the front page of a poetry book.
Laughing, I suddenly wanted to pat his hair, which I did. From this action, he trembled a little, but then also smiled. Never before have I seen such a smile. It was the most beautiful and pure smile in the world. For the sake of this smile, so that it lasted forever, I wanted to study all the science, to be able to create the immortality for this ideal creation.
"Have you read my thoughts now?"
Moonlight lowered his eyes as a sign that this was true.
"Don't blame yourself. Sometimes, you can read them. I have nothing to hide from you."
"I won't do that again. I just got curious."
Knowing what was going on in the world and with all the WIZARDS, I, looking at Moonlight, this unusual appearance, which clearly betrayed the unusual origin of this creature, suddenly came to the idea that I need to hide the fact that this creature is one of the wizards. I didn't want people and the world to see this creation as a simple object for ridicule and games. Besides, I wanted to hide the fact that we are not in a relationship with this being, when the master is stronger and more powerful than his slave. I wanted to hide the fact that this creature makes my heart start beating so fast that I began to understand what it was like to compete with the speed of light.
And I said, "You need to change your appearance."
"Appearance? What's this?"
Now, it's all turned into a kind of game. I was wondering what would come of it.
Taking all my mother's cosmetics and drawing accessories, I put Moonlight on a chair and lit some light bulbs in front of his face.
"Sit down and don't move."
I didn't know how to apply makeup, but I just did what my mom did. I took a brush for drawing and applied the right color, began to smear these golden patterns on the temples and on the forehead of this creature.
"Is it necessary to do it?"
"Don't you like it? I can erase it."
"No. I'm just curious."
Looking into these star-filled eyes, I said, "You're my secret now."
"Sit down and don't move."
To my surprise, I managed to hide these patterns and now, this creature has become at least a little human.
Looking at these correct facial features, I couldn't figure out how I should dress this creature. After all, in "him" there were qualities of women and men.
But since the only clothes that suited this tall height were my suits, I picked up my best suit, which was perfect for such a delicate and a little feminine creature.
When Moonlight wore a black jacket and red shirt, as well as slightly wide trousers, I was speechless again.
But losing vigilance was too luxurious.
Since each Wizard had almost the same hair color, namely a chestnut with a silver color, I said, "You need to change the color of your hair. You can do that, can’t you?"
"Is that your wish?"
In the blink of an eye, Moonlight changed his hair color to blond. In the blink of an eye, these dark strands of hair turned into a golden waterfall.
"Why did you choose this color?"
"Because, I like your hair color," Moonlight suddenly said and took a few steps in my direction.
Now, in front of me was a completely different creature.
Here it is, the perfect creature. In this heart, in this soul, lives a real ideal. While, none of the people even came close to the ideal. And this was what followed the fact that there is nothing perfect.
No, the perfection exists. And this perfection stood before me in a black suit, with long golden hair and with the kindest look, which already was full of concern.
"Now, you're ready to see this world."