WHY AM I HERE?
Sweaty palms, long fingers covered in mud, tried to grip each other as tightly as possible.
In perfect silence, in the dark, he was sitting with his head down.
The long strands of hair, some of which had been cut off, barely reached the floor.
And only occasionally, this fragile body shuddered from the cold. After all, this black shirt and trousers made of thin material did not save this creature from the cold.
The wind, enveloping from all sides, was the only guest here. It entered this room through the cracks in the wall.
Alone, only with the wind, which desperately tried to calm this frightened, crying heart, the Wizard continued to sit in one place without any movement.
Alone in the whole world, the Wizard desperately hoped that this door would open and he would see his life from the very beginning, and then just close his eyes forever.
Yes, this frightened creature with several deep scratches on the face that distorted this unearthly beauty was waiting for death. And this Wizard was expecting death from his master, who could open this door at any moment.
But the waiting was too long. And soon, the Wizard's head touched the stone floor and from the cold, he wanted to sleep.
The moment this creature began to dream, the door suddenly opened with a loud bang.
And even after the Wizard woke up, he continued to lie. He was not afraid of anything. Even the man who was standing not far from him.
In the darkness, the person was not visible. But he knew that it was his master.
“Sebastian,” the Wizard whispered and closed his eyes.
Suddenly, all the moments from his life ran before him.
From the very first moment when he saw his creator, and then, the moments when he suffered, but nevertheless, had respect for a man named Sebastian.
"Get up and grant my wish," the man said, still standing in total darkness.
The wizard rose to his feet and immediately felt pain in his legs. And the reason for this pain was that a few months ago, Sebastian and his friends broke his legs. And now, they were still sick.
"Stand up normally. Straighten your back. And raise your head!" Sebastian screamed loudly.
The wizard knew that this was the most common order. And he did everything to make Sebastian happy.
"What is your wish?" he asked, somehow managing to smile.
But his smile immediately disappeared from his face the moment Sebastian struck a sharp blow to his face.
The taste of blood was so familiar that the Wizard did not notice that his nose and the corner of his mouth were bleeding.
"Don't you respect me? Who do you think you are?"
"Your duty is just to fulfill my desires. And you always behave like that, as if you want something more. Do you really think that you play some important role in this world?"
Trying to look confident, the Wizard replied, "Tell me what I can do for you."
“Get on your knees, and then you yourself know what to do,” Sebastian said and smiled slyly.
The room was still cold and damp and the Wizards' hands were still shaking. It seemed to him that a little more and he would stop feeling his fingers altogether.
The hard floor felt painful, but he hid his pain. Although, he felt that his legs would just break at any second.
Yes, it was the Wizard, who turned exactly four years old today. And this meant only one thing, that he had only one more year to live.
Thinking about his life, he suddenly forgot about the person who was standing in front of him, too close to him.
"What are you looking at?! Are you crazy? Are you going to die?!" Sebastian shouted and the Wizard could hear his hand move upward, preparing to strike again. But he didn't care.
"Have you forgotten what you have to do?"
“I only have a year left to live,” he whispered, but these words were just thoughts that could not remain in the silence of his mind.
"What did you say? Do you want me to feel sad?! Do you think you can make me cry? Do what you must do! I don't have much time!"
Through the darkness that slowly let the first morning light pass through it, the Wizard saw a red belt in front of him. And he has seen this belt for four years now.
Red was the color of pain and suffering for him. He has already developed a phobia to this color. And noticing this, Sebastian painted his entire house red.
"Have you completely lost your mind? Do you want to be lazy?"
And there was another blow, which this time made the fragile creature fight in convulsions from terrible, unbearable pain.
In the fits of pain that now took possession of his mind, the Wizard screamed loudly. But it didn't get any easier.
"Do you think you have the right to emotions? Do you think you have the right to scream? You're nothing! You're just a slave! Now get on your knees and don't make me wait! I already get stress every day! Don't complicate things for me!"
No, the pain that had accumulated in his body for all four years just could not go away.
"If you don't get up now, then I will no longer treat you kindly!"
When a few seconds passed, a miserable moment, a man named Sebastian grabbed his hair and with all his might hit his head against the wall. And then, still not letting go of his hair, he brought him closer to him and shouted, "You know my wish! Don't pretend like you don't know what to do! Your beautiful face is not for nothing!"
“Let's get this over with,” the Wizard whispered.
"What did you say?! Do you want me to kill you? Do you want it? Well, if you want it so much!"
When his body was subjected to more blows, he could no longer feel the pain. His whole body was dumb, constrained, like stone, ice.
All he could do was just lie there and not move.
"They were right when they said that I need to get rid of you. I can get a new one! More beautiful and better than you! You are nothing! And why did I spend four whole years on you! You say that you have only one year?!"
Usually when someone strikes so hard, usually when someone is in pain, that someone screams and tries to defend himself. But he didn't try to defence himself.
He had nothing in his life.
What did this creature actually have, and in general all the Wizards? What was the meaning of their lives?
"You are nothing and nobody! You are not even a man or a woman! Have you seen yourself in the mirror? You have nothing! You are just a doll and that's it. Just a doll that is not capable of experiencing emotions and feelings! You are just a mistake of nature!"
Hearing these words, the fragile creature continued to lie motionless while every bone in his body continued to crunch and crack slowly.
"I can easily forget about you! Do you think I will suffer without you? Do you really think so?!" the man continued to scream. "Say something!"
But there was only silence in the room.
Watching the thin stream of blood flowing across the floor towards his shoes, Sebastian said, "You are a mistake of nature."
When he left, forgetting to close the door, still alive Wizard opened his eyes and smiled with the last of his strength.
A smile froze on his face. A minute passed. The smile was still on his cold, wounded face. But that was not the end. It turned out that his soul is stronger than he thought.
Finding the strength to get to his feet, he realized that he could still walk.
“This is my chance,” he told to himself. For the first time in his life, he suddenly saw the goal clearly in front of him. And this open door was a sign that he had to go forward. Only forward.
Without thinking about anything, he just walked forward.
Behind him was that dark room and there was only a corridor ahead.
But this corridor seemed to him endless. And by walking forward, he thought he was going to the very end of his life.
But due to the fact that this small house was built as simply as possible, the Wizard quickly found himself opposite the front door.
He spent four years within these walls. Four years, he fulfilled every wish. And now, looking back, he looked at the room where he first met his master. He looked at the stairs that led to the upper floor, where he was often subjected to real torture.
And in this simple house, for the first time he felt himself to be someone who could make decisions and be responsible for his life.
When his hand touched the doorknob, he felt freedom. And now, nothing could stop him.