IT IS JUST A HEART. PART ONE.
And at that moment, when I reached the house and saw my mother working on another sculpture in the window, the fear left me.
"Mom, where have you been?" this was my first question. And instead of seeing my mother's face, I saw my face. Many faces covered with a mask of fear. How I hated all these mirrors. "Why do you need all these mirrors? Why? What are you doing anyway?" I could no longer be calm.
Mom, without even looking at me, calmly replied, "You said that it is very original. You know that this is such a design. What is the problem?"
"Where have you been? With Lain?"
If a few hours ago, I thought that Lain had long ago decided that my mother was dangerous and locked her in a cage, now I knew that everything was much worse.
I felt my mom's mood and even thoughts too well.
Still not looking at me, she asked, "Did you see me? Why didn't you come up?"
I was scared and wanted to cry. Yes, I felt weak, my psyche simply could not define everything that I saw today. I wanted to find shelter in this house, in my mother's gaze, but all I got were just cold answers.
"Oki, what's wrong with you?"
I was afraid to approach her. I was afraid to see the change.
"Mom, do you know Lain? I saw you with her. Tell me, do you know her?"
"How do you know her? Probably Sennhandd introduced her to you, huh?"
Her hands moved in front of a sculpture.
"You shouldn't talk to her. She's dangerous. Don't you know? Community called "Three and Seven", she's in charge of this. She's the one who reads minds. Do you know what she does to all those she says are dangerous? She is just keeps them like little fish. Mom!"
I was scared to realize that my mother had become completely indifferent to everything. I was scared, because I did not understand why she became like this.
"Why aren't you looking at me?"
"Oki, I'm working."
This was hard. I couldn't take it anymore. Grabbing any object, I threw it towards the sculpture. As it turned out, the vase smashed against the wall and my mom didn't even flinch.
"What's the matter?" I asked, not daring to come closer.
"Lain is not a bad person. She is kind and she also loves your books and my work. I don't think you should think bad of her. She just does everything to keep everyone happy. Isn't that the main thing?"
I watched as my mother continued to create another masterpiece of art. Like in an hour, there will be an exhibition.
"What does she want from you? Why did you go with her? Where were you going?"
"I tell you, she really loves my paintings and sculptures. She loves art so much that she commissioned a sculpture for her office."
"Do you even understand something?"
Throwing things was not for me, and I just sat on my knees, thinking that this was all just a dream.
"I don't understand you. Lain is Sennhandd's colleague. They are both great scientists. You've always liked those who can think and work miracles. So why are you opposed to her?"
"I saw all my friends today. They are almost dead. They don't understand anything. Their lives were taken away. Can you hear me?"
"These are most likely dangerous people. You know that there are good and bad, kind and evil, and you don't have to worry about them."
It was not the same mom anymore, not the person I knew. But every word she said hurt me because I love her.
"It was Lain who told you all this? What did she do to you?"
"Oki, you don't have to think so badly of her. You should know how kind she is."
I couldn't say anything more. Lain was winning. She won even when no one had yet been told the rules of the game.
"Plus, we've been invited to a masquerade ball. Lain and all the elite are throwing a real masquerade ball. You love that? Just don't tell me you won't go. But I don't think that Moonlight can go with you. He's not a man, he doesn't need to be there."
I didn’t notice how I got up and left the house, leaving all my fear there.
The game has begun. And I was the player who wanted to take risks in order to live.
I'm tired of the fact that I've been running like this for all eternity, walking at a brisk pace, getting lost among these people, feeling miserable among these too bright skyscrapers.
I'm so tired of it all. Why can't I just enjoy life? Why can't I slow down my pace and look around, just feel peace and quiet?
Has human life always been a race? Has it always been like this?
Now, I felt only a strong need to rest, I can fall asleep for several days and forget about everything. Here I am walking past machines that can erase your memory. One has only to press a button, and these weak rays will make you forget about yesterday, or about the past three months, or in general, about your whole life. People did so often now. After all, when you are immortal, life loses all colors. And a person wants to forget about all those sensations, emotions, and start all over again. Maybe I should have done that too? Forget what I saw today.
But no, I couldn't just forget everything. I entered the game not for myself, but for the sake of all those who are dear to me. For the sake of justice. Yes, this feeling of courage makes me a hero.
But how can you be a hero when you're so tired? Isn't fatigue the main enemy of human?
I didn't even notice how I got to the teleport, how I pressed the button and how I stopped in front of my house.
Opening the door, Moonlight said, "I was scared for you."
"I am also scared."
We didn't discuss anything. We didn't talk about how we feel. We did not share a common hatred for the whole world. Everything was clear. We were just afraid.
“You need to sleep,” he whispered softly.
"Did you cry?"
"No. I just thought and thought a lot."
Falling into the chair, I closed my eyes and felt the hand of Moonlight lightly touch my shoulder. With my lips, I found his fingers and froze.
The fire crackled softly in the fireplace. There was complete silence outside the window. Perhaps we were the only ones left.
Opening my eyes, I saw before me the smartest gaze that ever looked at me. I drowned in those black eyes, and with my hands I tried to grab onto the two wings, which were eyebrows.
My hand reached forward and outlined those lines of his face in the air.
He was sitting on the floor, right in front of me.
Getting down on my knees, I looked at what he was wearing today.
Black satin shirt and black pants with a gold belt, but most importantly, bare feet.
Suddenly, I wanted to find a shelter just next to these feet. But would Moonlight allow me to exalt him, and myself to become his slave, his echo?
“Today, I realized one thing,” he said suddenly.
"What is it?"
Instead of answering, Moonlight moved closer to me and touched my lips with his own.