FORGETFULNESS. PART FIVE.
"Now everyone has forgotten about love. But I do my best to keep love. After all, this is the only feeling that matters. After all, the heart should beat for a reason. The heart should beat for the sake of love. But love is different. And each kind of love is special. I look at you, and I see that you know how to love. And perhaps you still love."
Her words made me weak, but I tried to keep thinking about the weather, the park, the fun and the fact that I wanted to sleep. But when one Wizard ran out from somewhere, all of a sudden, I almost fell. Thoughts about Moonlight flashed through my head, but in order not to think, I distracted myself by simply hugging Cryolalia.
The wizard, frightened and tired, looked at me as if he knew me. But I hugged Cryolalia even tighter, until he left.
"Are you afraid of the Wizards?" she asked, gently hugging me back. How I liked the fact that it was easy with her. She didn't want to complicate anything. Everything for her was just life.
I had to answer her question with a simple, "Yes."
"Don't be afraid. Fear is just a lack of confidence. And you should be confident."
Sometimes it seemed to me that the words of Cryolalia and Theron were sent from Moonlight or Sennhandd. And I tried so desperately to read something in their eyes, but no. They were just the ones who supported me.
“You don’t want to talk about your past, I can see it. But maybe you’re doing the right thing. Why do we need this past? Probably, the memory was created so that a person can overcome this and connect with life,” Cryolalia continued to speak. Well, I just walked and repeated her words in my head.
I thought that now, everything is fine with me. But in fact, my hands were shaking, and my heart was aching like there was a bullet.
“But even if I say so, I still continue to live in the past. I just can't leave all those years when I was very different. And Theron, he lives in the past. But he has a reason. He's looking for his friend. Okinizeus, are you feeling bad? What's the matter with you? "
What's the matter?
This question broke me. I could no longer hold back my tears.
"Don't cry. Did I say something wrong?"
"No. It just hurts. My whole body hurts. It's because of the pain."
"Of course. Theron said that he constantly saw you having fun in that park. Did you really enjoy going there? These rides, they are too violent. He said that he saw you fall off the roller coaster several times. What is wrong with you? Don't cry. Everything will be fine. I'm here. Everything will be fine."
I found a temporary home in this embrace. How grateful I was to this girl. And how I wanted her to be always happy.
"You're right. Now let's go."
Further, she did not let go of my hand. We walked slowly and at times, she threw a kind look at me.
Meanwhile, a beautiful city flew past us, with bright lights, cheerful music and cold expressions of people.
I can't say anything more about this world. Only that it is very bright here, very loud, and very cold.
But soon, I stopped crying, because this small, warm hand held me tightly, not wanting to let go.
When she stopped in front of a crowd of people, I lifted my head and suddenly saw something that made me feel the whole meaning of my life.
Lain, sitting in her car, not far from us, looked at everyone as if she was the queen of this whole world.
I didn't care if she saw me or not. I continued to look at her.
Too kind expression on her face just impudently repeated that she was a real Angel. And this already snow-white hair, just like Sennhandd's, made her image too clean, too perfect.
She took the highest throne in this world. Everyone knew this. After seeing her, everyone started waving and shouting words of greeting.
A lazy look fell on the people below, and at last she saw me.
Then, I had to do the most difficult thing in my life. I smiled like never before. I smiled happily and made my eyes light up with a light of happiness and gratitude.
“I didn't think you liked Lain,” Cryolalia said.
"She is a great person. I always hear that she created everything."
It was hard for me. Each word was like a real poison. But I played my part. I was a good actor. And Lain believed me. And her faith meant only one thing, her defeat.
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know. I just wanted you to go for a walk. Walking always makes us a little happier."
Now that Lain noticed me, she wanted to know where I was going and with whom. And to play flawlessly, I said, "I know one very funny place."