WHAT IS HAPPINESS
What do people feel when they go crazy? Only pain. And this pain is not physical, it is pain that comes from every emotion, from every tear that falls right into the center of the heart. Yes, life can be too theatrical. Because everything around is just a stage.
But some, cannot play their part to the end and simply disappear.
I will disappear soon. Now, I knew it as never before.
And yet, the first sign that the mind is entering the territory of insanity is that a person does not care. Complete indifference, and then the absence of any thoughts. The same thing happened to me.
But I was not scared. More, I was scared for the man who was asleep, in a glass coffin, right in front of everyone.
What was this world doing to people who were desperate to help?
They took everything from Sennhandd. His memory, pride, thoughts, inventions. And now they have turned him into a monument.
Occupying a large area that was empty for many years, a glass coffin in the form of a skyscraper kept in its waters the one who once began to dream that someday he would change this world.
How I felt sorry for him. He was in a perpetual sleep and even if his heart was beating, he would never be able to open his eyes and say, "I am a scientist."
I stood in front of him. I asked him to open his eyes. I didn't believe it was him. But the inscription "Great Scientist and just a man who turned into a monster" was too loud.
Has he really become a monster?
I stood in front of this eternal monument and looked at his pale face, at his long arms that lightly touched the glass wall. He was beautiful, beautiful as always. For a minute, it seemed to me that this is a mermaid from a fairy tale, a kind wizard who must save everyone after millions of years. But it was just Sennhandd.
How much time has passed? I could only tell by the number of people who began to gather around this monument.
And then the first stone flew in his direction. But the stone could not break and free him. The stone just fell to the ground and froze, keeping warm from the anger of the man who was now saying, "Like all geniuses, he has lost his mind and I am sure that a little more, he would poison all of us. His inventions would become dangerous to such an extent that the whole universe would be in danger. His brain knew no boundaries. Such people were always dangerous. Usually, the mind creates all the most evil. And this only applies to people like Sennhandd. He had power. And he knew it. If not for Lain or Kazimir, we would all be in danger. But now, this world is safer than ever."
"You threw a stone at him. And what difference does that make?" I asked, although I didn't care.
I didn't know who I started talking to, but this someone clearly hated Sennhandd.
"You are one of those who are always sad, thinks, and most importantly, who hope that they will change this world with their thoughts. You are the one who believes that this world is too sinful? I know people like you. You are against happiness, against the peace and against the whole world. You are the same as him. Smart guys have always been too arrogant."
“If you don't like me, then hit me,” I said, remembering all the days when I had to fight with Wizards.
Yes, I spent several days, months as a wrestler. Those people who kidnapped me used me to beat creatures who did not try to harm me in any way.
I lived in a dark room. I left this place when the time came. And to the sound of laughter and joy, I hurt the kindest beings. Yes, it turns out I am capable of cruelty. But in truth, a person ceases to feel anything in such situations.
During this time, I have lost all humanity in myself. And even if I see Moonlight, I will not be able to approach him. Everything that I appreciated, that I have created over the years, died in me.
Before my eyes I still have that Wizard who was lying on the ground and just looking at me. I can still hear how his bones crunch, how he screams in terrible pain. And I see my hands trying to inflict more pain. When I fell into a pool of blood, I began to laugh along with everyone. But when I found myself alone with the body of the Wizard, I hugged him, I asked for forgiveness and cried. Then, I wasted all my tears. I couldn't cry anymore. I couldn't love anymore. Because I didn't deserve such a great feeling.
I remember the faces of everyone who endured all the bullying. But my memory was leaving me. Because I completely forgot about how I escaped from there. I don't know how I did it. But one day, I just opened my eyes and saw a gray sky.
Even if Theron is trying to help me, I don't understand him. I am an immortal being, but death has settled in my heart forever.
And all thanks to this world, which has always tried to change me, to make people feel happy looking at me.
"I spent many days swimming in pain."
"You won't understand this. Nobody will understand."
The man left, I was left alone. And only Sennhandd could understand me at that moment.
"Sennhandd, what is it?"
I stopped looking for Moonlight in my thoughts. I didn't deserve him.
The fall of the ego, thought, mind, this was the most real death in the world of immortals. And all for the sake of always being happy.
Happiness turned into stones that flew towards Sennhandd. And I stood so close that they started throwing these stones at me.
"He's not a hero! He's just selfish!"
"You deserve it! You've always laughed at all of us. You've always wanted to make us weak!"
"He would definitely destroy us all! He always wanted to use his mind against us all!"
"And why have we always been so naive?!"
"Friends, now we are one big family and no one can make us unhappy!"
Everything has lost its meaning.
I was convinced of this once again when someone kissed me, and then simply took me somewhere where I began to dance. Was it happiness?
Dancing to loud music, too beautiful Wizards who called me to their place?
The world revolved around my head at the speed of light.
"Handsome man, why are you so sad?! Do you want to see something that will make you smile forever?" someone asked me a question.
The light around was too bright, but the fun took me towards distant lands.
No, I was wrong. This world is not a stage, it is a dance floor. You have to be a dancer to live well.
"What's your name?" one girl asked me.
“Oki, I'm just Oki,” I replied.
“Welcome to happiness, Oki,” she said and hugged me so tightly.
It was not tenderness. It was pity and something else.
"Dance. Don't be sad! Here are the rules. You should never be sad. And think too!"
"Less thoughts, more life!"
Loud and cheerful music made me dance. I closed my eyes and, feeling the hands of that girl on my shoulders, I broke into laughter.
"Less thoughts, more life!" I repeated.
So this is what happiness looks like.