This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.
She remembered. It was a Saturday morning over 30 years ago. Must have been early winter, steam billowed from car exhaust. Sitting alone, in a diner on Vandeventer Avenue, a plate of eggs and bacon in front of her, she made a decision.
Hardly able to pay rent and utilities, she nevertheless allowed herself the luxury of breakfast at cheap diners on Saturdays. She was just entering adulthood. Happy to be away from her violent father, she saw no way out of poverty. From her job putting triptychs together at AAA, she barely survived. She needed to make more money, she must go to college.
Unconscious trains of thought, drove her to make a decision. How would she get hormones? How could she afford the surgery? Who would want her as a half man, half woman chimera? She knew she was in the wrong body. And, consciously, she knew few people would hire an effeminate, pretty young man for a responsible job. Until now, she walked a tight rope, balancing on a narrow ledge. On one side, she had to become masculine. On the other side, she would transition to female. On the one side, she could go to college, get a good job, maybe even travel to Europe. On the other side, she would know only more poverty, be humiliated by society, and live a desperate life.
When she was in school, people frequently confused her gender. She wore men’s clothing, but her hair was long and she wore makeup, Mama gave her a makeup kit when she was 12. She kept it all through her teen years. As a senior, she finally began to wear it. Once when sitting off stage at a rehearsal of Oklahoma! a young woman asked her if she wore makeup. She denied it.
Once when she exited a Men’s Room, a man walking to the door looked at her embarrassed saying, “I’m sorry, Ma’am.” Then, he saw the word “Men” on the door, and looked at her with disgust. Even so, she loved being mistaken for a girl. But now, at long last, on the brink of adulthood, she must put all that behind her. No more wanting to be female. She would be a man. She would put her energy and acting abilities into the effort. She would do it. She would watch her movements, pay attention to her voice. She would force herself to be masculine.
She remembered looking up from her plate at the darkened windows of a shuttered bar across the street and wondered why this decision made her feel so bad. Why did she feel as if she had just sold her soul?
Sitting here in the surgeon’s office, she remembered these things. Three decades ago, she forced herself to be masculine. But, now, finally, after decades of watching every movement, listening for any feminine lilt of the voice, wondering at her inability to urinate standing, or to allow anyone to touch her sexual organ, she finally gave up. She would take the name of her cousin, the girl she always wanted to be. She would be Glenda. From now on, anyone calling her Denny, would be doing it as an act of hatred.
When she decided to transition, the first difference she noticed was that she no longer had to pay attention to her gestures. At first, she had to work to stop controlling herself. But now, here she was, with Susan and Will, waiting for the surgeon to change her life.
Ayesha Shaikh: I love the twists. 😆I like how the writer describes everyone's point of view and the character development. I'm gonna read all the books by this author (current and upcoming). She's one of my favorites now. The spelling mistakes are normal no big deal, the amazing plot makes up for it. Thank you ...
daneliacapote116: This was one of my favorites! When you start reading you want to continue I can't wait for the rest of the novel!! The characters where awesome! Everything was great. I encourage you to read this novel, your going to love it it and want to read it more and more !!
Hawkebat: Playing both Kotor I & II and Swtor I found the story line interesting and it held me until chapter 35 Very good story and plot flow until then, very few technical errors. I felt that the main character was a bit under and over powered, as it fought for balance. The last few chapters felt too f...
ElusiveBadwolf: I loved this book so much! It's a shame that i already came to the end of this. I really enjoyed the story, and i liked it how everything became in the end. It was a great book and i can say that you are a great writer too. Keep it that way and i think you can make it in the writing business!
mullikin902: Do not start reading this book unless you have enough time to finish it in one sitting, because you will not be able to put it down! Superlative! Addictive! Deliciously wicked characters you can't get enough of. Impatiently waiting for the sequel!
Ding Fernando: very nice read.so realistic you can hardly put it down,i really like the character so human despite posessing immortality and eternal youth.though i would prefer a better ending..i still love this novel and i am recommending it to all sci fi fans to give it a try .you will love it too!!
Bri Hoffer: I couldn't put it down!! The characters are all incredibly likable, and it's so descriptive you can see, smell, and feel thier surroundings. Great story, and very well written. I cannot wait for follow up stories. there were a few grammatical errors, but nothing that I could move right over.
SandraHan1: This story is very descriptive, with vivid scenes from the very beginning, which made for a good scene setting. I love the symbolism in names, such as “Naysayers”, “Hadd”, etc . The story itself is revolutionary, intriguing, emotional and exciting. I was very pleased to see that there is a happy ...
snowview03: This is the first book I have read on this app and I loved it! When I read the title I thought about the hunger games, but this novel is so much more. Some book have a comparison between other books that fallow like premises so i will do my own: Arena has the compellingly emotional stresses and t...
Krupa Kataria: the detailing is really awesome ....the characters, ur plots jst too Awsm ,m waiting for the further chapters please do complete it ...like m really craving for those ones ...great job with words too ..please complete the further parts ...