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A Slacker's Road Map of the Universe, Vol: 1 of the 3K Chronicles

By J_A_Causer All Rights Reserved ©

Scifi / Humor

Blurb

It's the year 3000Ad and mankind has spread out all across the Virgo Super Cluster. The spectacular and unimaginable are now mundane occurrences. It is a time of prosperity and discovery, but not everyone is into all that excitement. Atlas Van Morrison just wants to live his life, free from responsibility and stress, but fate has other plans when he gets thrown into the middle of a plot for Universal conquest. Together with his unwitting crew of a likeminded freeloader, an alien femme fatale and a sarcastic Ai, he'll have to fight through the demons of his past and figure out what he truly cares about. With dark humor and popculture references from start to finish, this will be a misadventure for the ages. And, with the stakes so high, why wouldn't it be?

Prologue

PROLOGUE

It is now the year 3000AD and the human race has spread out across the Virgo Super Cluster. Mankind has discovered that it is, in truth, only a very small and relatively infantile race in an ever expanding Universe. After the discovery of warp speed technology, in the year 2373, interplanetary travel from solar system to solar system soon became common place, driven by mankind’s inherent curiosity. The first sentient species that humanity made contact with, were the Skolareans; a highly advanced race of humanoid life forms that have an academically based culture. This meeting of worlds, expanded human reach exponentially, cultivating intergalactic trade and democratic relations across billions of light-years.

In this new age of seemingly endless possibilities, the landscape of civilisation is an unfamiliar sight to the modern day onlooker. As not all space is claimed or even inhabited by any form of sentient life, any creature with the resources, can have their own planet or habitable moon. From corporate entities, to religious organisations and even criminal syndicates, every type of ideology can become a thriving culture somewhere out in space. Although there are still planets that have native cultures, most planets that are inhabited have been annexed by non-terrestrial enterprises.

I can see that this concept is a little too vague for you, your eyes are drooping… Blink twice. There isn’t that better? Ok, now allow me to give a more in-depth description of what I’m trying to convey. It is after all the hallmark of a good narrator to paint a vivid picture. Right, now then, let’s look at the average corporate planet;

Ever wonder what it’d look like if a company, like your favourite burger joint, had their own planet? Well here’s your answer, these planet sized corporate facilities will deal with every corporate function of the company’s business. Housing staff and their families, manufacturing facilities, distribution points, retail areas and corporate HQs, all covering one whole planet. Many solar systems will have several of these, if there are no sentient species that can put up a fight. Then we have religious planets, these are not as common, owing partly to the fact that, in a universe that contradicts the religions you know today, many dogmatic ideologies perished when Alien life was discovered.

Next are criminalistic planets, a very intriguing concept if you ask me, incredibly dangerous and heavily guarded planets, usually found in remote areas of the cosmos, these fall into 2 distinct sub-categories; Rotten Boroughs, and; Mob Planets.

Mob Planets are owned exclusively by criminal syndicates and are wonderlands for the families they house. These planets tend to be crime free themselves, owing to the fact that the families act criminally on other planets. It is very rare that one of these planets will show up on any star charts or databases, as it wouldn’t be very practical in the long run if the whole Universe knew the address of your secret, criminal lair. Rotten Boroughs, on the other hand, are planets that have not been claimed by any organization and are overrun with outlaws and wanted criminals in hiding. Rumoured to have buried treasures, these planets are often referred to as Pirate Planets. One should tread likely though, as these lawless places are insanely dangerous and unpredictable.

Finally, as one might expect, there are planets that are annexed by planetary governments. The Human race, for example, has laid claim to several planets and moons throughout the galaxies, using them for strategic outposts, diplomatic positioning and to handle the ever-increasing population. Thanks to terraforming technology being fast and easy in this new age, almost any planet is a potential possession.

The discovery of new worlds and galaxies, it would seem, gives rise to a reimagining of the curiosity of life. While creation still strives to expand and grow, it knows a freedom it could never have enjoyed without it. This freedom gives hope to all that anything and everything is truly possible. I mean, come on, who wouldn’t feel hope in a Universe that has a planet inhabited by gorgeous nymphomaniacs? That’s right, can’t you just picture it? But we’ll get to that later, if you pay close attention to the story that is about to unfold in this future, literary epic. Or you could call it a space opera, everyone calls things that nowadays. Anyway, let us begin…

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