My eyes strained to adjust to the light as the closet door opened, and my heart fluttered thinking I was finally saved from this awful prison. My fingers bled, and I could finally see the glint of the nails that popped off my hands and the scratches I carved into the wood of the door—paint chipped and gone. I crumpled my hands into taut fists as a silhouette leaned into the closet and petted my cheek gently. I fell limp into his hands, exhausted, my throat raw and sore from screaming for so long. I screamed until my lungs hurt and then until I lost my voice. Then I sobbed silently for an indefinite amount of time, stuck in the abysmal darkness and lost in thought.
“Oh, sweetheart, how long have you been in there?” The silhouette knelt down in front of me and embraced me and pulled me to my feet. His lips pressed against my forehead in comfort. I didn’t recognize the husky voice or his musk as his hands cradled my chin.
My blue eyes finally transitioned to visualize this suited man for the first time. I remember how his face seemed so warm and welcoming, a light scruff framing his square jaw. His brunette hair splayed out in so many directions due to rebellious cowlicks. His muddy eyes found mine, and I melted into his chest and began to sob, choking back hoarse screams. His arms wrapped around me, and then he began to laugh quietly.
My heart stopped.
He pulled my chin up viciously, and his dirty eyes stared intently into mine. “Jude needs to treat you a little bit better, huh?”
I merely stuttered in front of him, feeling my base slip from under my feet. I stepped backward away from, my eyes hooked on him, throwing his arms to my sides away from me. I wrapped my arms around me with not a hint of security taunting me. Tears began to gather in my eyes as I saw the way he looked at my body. The way he licked his lips and his hands fell over his mouth afterwards. The way he chuckled when I began to succumb to fear. I murmured, “Please, please, don’t do this. Please.”
He nonchalantly shrugged and said, “Business is business. You should be used to this. You look like a slut to me.” His hands fell to his belt buckle and began to undo his belt, whipping it out of the belt loops like he was readying to use it as a lasso.
I desperately pleaded, “Please, please, please, don’t do this.”
He snatched my wrist and pulled me into his embrace again. He forced his way, grabbing and manipulating me to face him. His bitter mouth folded over mine aggressively, and I shoved my knee into his quad. He suddenly buckled to the floor. “Bitch, you bitch.”
I shuffled away from him, trying to orient myself toward the exit. It was so weird being able to navigate my home sober for the first time in months. I couldn’t remember where anything was except for the family room. I pivoted on my heels and began to run, but my face hit the floor as I felt a hand pull me down. I let out a piercing scream that made my nerves run raw, crying out for help or for anyone to save me.
He grabbed my other ankle and dragged me across the floor to him. My fingers tried to dig into the floorboards, but my nonexistent nails were not available to create stronger friction. My shirt folded above my ribs as the floor scraped against my bare abdomen, and I hoped the friction of my abdomen would keep me in place. My sweat created a slippery surface for me to move, and I easily slid underneath him. His leather belt pelted into my bare back, snapping with each impact, and I wailed in deafening defiance. I tried to grab the belt blindly, daring not to turn over to be beaten on my tender abdomen, and the metal hook sunk into my skin and ripped away a piece of my flesh. His claws dug into my waist, turning me onto my back so I could face his faux familiar face. His knees fell to my sides, and his warm groin fell on my stomach.
“Please,” I hoarsely screamed, “please!”
He shook his head silently, and then a fist flew into my jawline, an audible crack echoing in the room. He limply shook his hand, blood dripping from his knuckles. I tried to form words or clench my jaw, but it failed and became useless against my struggle. “That should shut you up… God, such a buzzkill.” My jaw began to balloon, stressing my skin just like my nose had done when the first man came around.He tautly pulled the belt flat in front of my mouth. He then violently wiggled it between my teeth, cutting into the corners of my lips, a liquid seeping onto the belt. He slid the end under my neck and waited for me to be quiet before he snapped it away from my mouth.
He shoved his tongue into my mouth and pressed his lips into me. His hands slid up my shirt to my breasts. I squealed as his nails dug into the soft tissue as his kissing became more vehement and intentional. I mumbled into his ear as his mouth fell to my collar bone and sucked hard, breaking vessels underneath my skin, “Stop, please.”
He pulled away and glared down his straight nose at me. “Goddamn, you looked so much cuter in the pictures. Your face looks like complete shit, but—“—he lifted my shirt above my breasts, and his hands cupped them forcefully—“—at least your breasts aren’t whored out too much.” His tongue traced the outline of my sports bra, and it took all of my strength not to try to attack him in fear of him hitting me again. Part of me begged he would and put me out of my misery, but I was afraid he would wait for me to wake up or just do it to my dead body.
He pulled my bra above my breasts, and I whimpered, “Please don’t do this…”
He ignored me, and he began to suck on my breasts, his tongue leaving a trail of saliva on my pale skin. I began to protest again but was interrupted by him biting down fiercely into my flesh. My back arched as I choked back a scream. His hands settled to my sides, forcing my arms to the floor. He hardened against me. His teeth bared down into me again, and his tongue flicked against my tissue. His lips traced up my clavicle, neck, jawline, chin, and mouth. His tongue forced my lips to part and unrolled in my mouth.
I bit down on his tongue as hard as I could.
His blood rushed into my mouth like a torrent, and I spit his tongue out of my mouth. His hand slammed into my fractured jaw, and the pain radiated down my neck into my chest. I wailed as he reared back his hand and flew it back into my face. My chin rolled away from the impact, and the floor smacked into my other side. He pulled my bra back over my breasts and reached toward my pants. “Let’s just get this done with so we can stop with the foreplay.”
I suddenly used the strength I could muster and arched my back, picking him off the floor and threw him off. He landed on his hip against the wooden floor, and I popped onto my feet. I sprinted as hard as I could to the family room, rushing past the carpet still indented with couch marks and other fossils. His footsteps pounded loudly behind me, making my heart quicken with his pace. I turned the corner into the kitchen and ran around the island towards the family room when a hand snatched my hair and pulled me back. My feet slipped from underneath me, and my eyes met those of a crazed man as he slowly let me fall onto the concrete tile. He heaved heavy breaths as he stared angrily at me, and all I could do was beg, “Please, please.”
He mustered, “Don’t worry. I know exactly what to do to you.”
He knelt down, straddling me again. He unzipped his pants, and his erect penis fell on my stomach. His fingers wrapped around my jeans and unbuttoned them patiently and slowly, as if he was building anticipation. The zipper peeled down my fly, unveiling black underwear. His fingers slid under my waist band. He leaned in and began to kiss my neck aggressively, his teeth brushing against my frail skin. He murmured into my neck, “God, I’m going to fuck you so hard, you’re going to wish I wouldn’t stop.” He nuzzled me as he inhaled roughly, his hand traveling further down my groin.
I kicked my shin into his butt, flipping him off of me. His back slammed into the floor, and he wheezed to get back any oxygen he possibly could. I quickly sat up and launched onto my feet like life had come back into my bones. My hand gripped the edge of the island, pulling me back up.
And then I felt him.
He clawed my crown again and slammed my chest into the island, and I wavered on my tip-toes to balance myself. He pushed my hips painfully into the ledge, and he stuck his hand down the back of my pants, clawing at my butt fiercely. He directed my face into the island, his hand wrapping around in my hair tautly. A breath escaped me when he pulled me off the island and threw me back down. I struggled to regain my breath, but he was ignorant of the oxygen rushing out of my lungs as if the molecules had sprouted wings and flew away. He leaned against me, his penis taut against my leg. He hissed in my ear, his talons forcing me down on the island, defenseless, “Try that again, and I will really hurt you.”
His fingers from his other hand wiggled my pants down and tore them off my legs, pulling my feet off the ground one at a time. His fingers then laced around my underwear and patiently slid them until they sat around my knees. His chest folded over my back as he whispered in my ear, “I’m going to make you scream…”
I clenched my buttocks, but he took his hand and separated my legs. His hand slid from my crown down my back and remained on my low back. His penis rubbed against my backside, and I clenched down as hard as I could. His penis forced inside me, tearing through my tissues and muscles suddenly. A painful pressure radiated from my lower back through my abdomen into my chest. I silently screamed into the island. My nail-less fingers clung to the faux marble as his fingers dug into me. He grunted suddenly, and then his hips rotated forward. “Oh, babe, you’re real tight in the ass… feels good.”
Maroon liquid trickled down my legs as he continued to shove himself inside of me forcefully.
I resisted the urge to vomit, spitting up saliva on the counter to get the venomous taste out of my mouth. My back arched like a cat from the island as he thrusted into me, and his hand slid back up my back to my crown and pulled my hair back to him. His tongue slid up my neck, up to my ear where he bit my earlobe. I cried out in pain, and I heard his lips peel back to a smug grin. “Yeah, you like that, babe? You like this?”
He pounded into me, moaning ecstatically as he muffled my cries of pain with the island or his mouth. He twisted my face to him, and he pressed his lips to mine, his tongue fighting to get past my teeth easily as my slackened jaw unhinged.
Tears streamed down my blushed face, and his hands wiped them away as if that caused the slightest guilt to reside in his heart. I knew it didn’t. He probably liked it even more that I couldn’t resist the compulsion to just sob.He peeled away from my mouth and concentrated on finishing. I felt his pulse hasten and stutter, and then he pulled out of me. Semen ejaculated onto my lower back, and he began to ease his breathing quietly. “Oh God, oh God…”
His hands shoved my underwear violently up from my kneecaps to my waist, and he peeled away from me slowly, putting himself away and zipping his pants nonchalantly.
I slid off the island and fell to my knees and then to my side. I breathed deeply and heartily as the pain continued to increase in my abdomen. I curled into a taut ball, covering my head with my hands to hopefully deny anyone access to grabbing my crown again. My face pressed against my thighs, and I caught a glimpse of my blood smearing across the kitchen floor as if it was a piece of modern art.
My blue eyes vacantly stared at the wooden portion of the island, tracing the grain of the wood. I imagined how beautiful the tree must have looked in a wood with identical trees encircling it like an embracing family, like it was home. It must have thought it was so safe from being torn away and being mangled and manipulated.
I turned my gaze to the floor; my eyelids weighed heartily against my eyes. I gently closed my eyes, not fighting back against the urge to fall into darkness anymore.
A leather shoe poked my low back hesitantly. “Babe? Babe?”
I covered my face with my hands, praying that he would just abandon me for another sexual venture with another human being—it could’ve been anybody, just not me. I was exhausted and broken enough to shatter with just a touch. Please, please, please…
“You did great, sweetheart— real hot stuff” he whispered. His fingers wrapped around my chin and turned my face toward him. The dull light streaming from the window emphasized his rugged features as I dully observed him, memorizing his face. I silently begged for him to kill me. He leaned in and forced his tongue into my mouth again, leaving his acidic taste to scald my tongue. His lips pressed against mine, and then he ended his wet kiss. “Night, babe.”
I fell back against the floor limply as he let me go. I covered my face with my arms again, and then I gratefully heard the door close shut and lock from the outside. My heart pounded against my ribs, and then I let out a deafening cry for no finite reason, shaking my whole body with its ferocity.
“Oh, and happy birthday, baby girl.”
I didn’t scream for a definite reason—it just seemed like the right thing to do. It seemed like it was the only thing I could do as I experienced this hell.