WHAT you will read in the following pages may bother you.
It is meant to tell the true account of a poorly run undercover operation that took place between October 2002 and June of 2003. I have kept the true names of the different individuals. However, when dealing with certain individuals who are still at-large, I chose to use only first names.
This is neither an indictment nor an accusation about U.S. governmental and foreign policies when dealing with international terrorism, yet it is critical when appropriate. As the writer, I do not claim to be able to create a literary work that will be appreciated for its eloquent prose. Hey, I carried a pistol before I ever picked up a pen. You might be offended by what you read. Fair enough. It is a true story, and life is often times an offensive string of circumstances.
Every conversation is as accurate as my memory will allow.
Every account is verifiable through evidence in my possession. Yes, I made copies. No, I won’t tell you who has them.
Before this all started, when I was still liked by my country, there was a prayer that I stumbled across that I felt best summed up my morality.
Give me, God, what you still have,
Give me what no one asks for;
I do not ask for wealth
nor for success,
nor even health—
People ask you so often, God, for all that
That you cannot have any left.
Give me, God what you still have;
Give me what people refuse to accept from you.
I want insecurity and disquietude,
I want turmoil and brawl,
And if you should give them to me, my God, once andd for all.
Let me be sure to have them always,
for I will not always have the courage
To ask you for them.