Like I said, I Vicky the exhausted Vampire hoped that no one else would call that night, and nobody did. My cell phone didn’t ring again. What did happen was that somebody knocked on my office door.
I groaned. A knock on the door is something you can’t hang up on.
“I haven’t killed anyone yet!” I shouted. “If you come inside, that is going to change!”
The door opened. I sat up on the cot, and deliberately extended my fangs; looking ready to fatally pounce on whoever stepped inside.
The person who stepped inside was Kate. Wouldn’t you know it?
She shut the door.
“You haven’t yet,” she told me “but I have.”
“You have what?”
“Like you just said; killed someone.”
“Oh.” I retracted my fangs.
“It was Pete.” She told me, “It’s like I told you on the phone. He was being such a wimpy wus. It got me so aggravated. I hadn’t expected to act that way. I thought that just drinking enough pigs’ blood would be enough to keep myself under control. It wasn’t.”
“Becoming a vampire,” I told her, “changes more than the shape of our teeth and our appetites Katie. That’s what I learned, when I was being held at Vidamort Corp. for three days.”
“Right. I actually read that same statement in the Handbook. ‘What every new vampire should know’. I am now a carnivorous predator, with a conscience.
“Vicky.” Now she spoke uneasily. “The reason I’ve come to you, is that I’m not sure what to do with Pete; until he becomes undead, and then after that. Now it turns out that you’re the only one I could think of who might be able to help.”
Again I was the one who groaned.
Then I asked, “Where is he now?”
“He’s in the back seat of my car, under a blanket, out in the parking lot.”
“You could drop him off at home, in his bed, and pull down the shade so the sun won’t shine on him, and I can finally get to sleep.”
“I won’t be able to enter his house, unless I’m invited inside, and now that’s impossible.”
I couldn’t help smirking as I repeated, “Yeah. That is a toughie, isn’t it?”
“I thought I might bring him in here, where it’s open to the public, and leave him in the store room. But now you’ve hired that woman from the Demon Chasers Agency, and I don’t know what to do.”
I thought it over.
Then I told her, “Why don’t you do like I did? Find a motel room.”
“Motel room? Would you know where there’s one available?”
“I’m pretty sure there’s one available at the Sangreville Motor Lodge, and they have no problem catering to vampires.”
“What!” she groaned. “Drive all the way back to Sangreville, tonight?”
“If you want to keep Pete from burning up into dust and ashes.”
“Can you think of any place closer?”
“Well, there is a place, but it’s one I think you might want to avoid.”
“What I want to avoid is Pete burning up.”
“Then you might want to drive over to Vidamort Corp Headquarters. They have ‘safe rooms’ for vampires; but only if you agree to their terms.”
She spoke uneasily. “Vidamort Headquarters?”
“Either there or the Sangreville Motor Lodge. I’m sure there must be other safe places, but I have no idea where they are.”
“Wouldn’t they be listed in the Vampire’s Handbook?”
“Right.” I waved my hand in the direction of my desk. “It’s over there. Look it over; quietly please;” I lay back down on the cot. “and let me try to get some sleep.”
“One more thing Vicky.” Kate asked, “Isn’t Vidamort Headquarters the place where you learned how to control your own bloodlust?”
“That’s right,” I told her “but like I said, it’s a place that’s best for you to avoid. You can get even better help from Blood Suckers Anonymous, which meets at the First Presbyterian Church of Vampires.
“Now.” I repeated, “Please let me get some sleep.”
“Right. Pleasant dreams.”
She quietly went over to the desk, picked up the handbook and flipped through the pages. After a few minutes she wrote something down on slip of paper. Then she quickly left the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.
I shut my eyes, knowing that I just wasn’t going to get any sleep that night, but at least I could finally relax.
About ten minutes later the door opened again, and again I groaned.
Kate entered, looking even more distressed than she had before.
I sat up. She shut the door.
“What is it?”
“It’s Pete.” She told me, “He’s gone from the car.”
Forget about me getting any sleep that night!
Five minutes later, Kate and I were outside, under the open nighttime sky.
She sang softly with an anxious tone,
“Where oh were did my Peetee Boy go?
Where oh where could he be?”
She and I were out in the Club’s parking lot, standing beside the car she’d driven from Sangreville, cautiously looking around.
Loretta Carolton was now seated in a folding chair, beside the Climaxes’ main entrance, with her arms folded in front of her, conspicuously displaying a sharp wooden stake gripped tight in her hand. Kate and I had come out through the Club’s side door, hoping to avoid Loretta; but the woman from the Demon Chasers Agency stared straight at us, with a lot of curiosity.
Kate pointed through the shut window of the driver side’s rear door.
Her voice remained anxious. “He was there where I left him Vicky. Completely dead and unmovable.”
“Are you sure he was dead?” I asked.
“He seemed to be.” She told me, “He sure felt limp and lifeless when I pulled my fangs out of his neck. But if he’s not…” her voice whimpered and she began to tremble, “Pete could be wandering around the streets, out in the open, when the sun rises.”
I added, “And he could be biting somebody right now.”
“Don’t say that Vick!” She demanded, “Please don’t say that!”
“Okay. I won’t, but he hasn’t learned how to control his bloodlust; and do you know if he’s read any copy of the Vampire’s Handbook?”
She shook her head. “I’m not sure. He might have leafed through it. Wait a minute Vicky. We have to find him. But I don’t know where to look or how.”
I looked back toward the Club’s entrance, where Ms. Carolton was seated, now strongly focused on us. “I’m sure she knows how to locate a newbie vampire.”
“Loretta?” Kate said, “You want to ask her to locate Pete? She’s holding a vamp snuffer stake.”
“Yeah.” I said, this time without a smirk, “It’s a real toughie, isn’t it?”
I began to move in the direction of the Club’s main entrance. Loretta Carolton rose up out of her chair.
Kate stepped up beside me.
“Wait a minute.” She told me, “I think I know where Pete’d go. He’d go home. Just like I did, when I showed up at Jimmy’s place.”
I halted. So did she.
Loretta hurried over to us, tightly gripping the stake in her hand.
When she reached us, the woman asked Kate, “Are you looking for your boyfriend?”
Kate stiffened. “What do you mean?”
“As soon as you stepped inside the Club, the back door to your car opened, and one of the guys who you were with in the office yesterday morning, came out. I think his name is Pete?”
“That’s right.” Kate nodded, “Peter Ramsey. He was ali…I mean he wasn’t asleep?”
“No. He came right over to me, and he told me that he doesn’t want to have anything more to do with any of this, what he calls ‘vampire business’. Then he asked me how to get to the nearest Bloodsuckers Anonymous Office. I told him the address.
“After that he said that he doesn’t want to have anything more to do with you Miss Nellington, or you either Ms. Milford. He also said that he doesn’t care if you call him a wus; and he said that if either of you come anywhere near him, he’ll be waiting with a sharp wooden stake.”
“Oh.” Kate said, “I see. Then it’s over, between him and I.”
“It looks that way.”
Now I asked, “Did you see where he went after that?”
“He went over to the curb, where a taxi was letting people out. When they got out, he got in and was driven away. I assume he went over to that Bloodsuckers Anonymous Office.”
Then Loretta left us and went back to the entrance, where she again seated herself in the folding chair, guarding the entrance.
Kate sighed. “So it’s over between me and Pete. I think I may have overdone it, with the anti-wussyism, along with the fangs and the bloodlust.”
“I agree.” I told her, “The ‘New You’ is going to be hard to get used to.”
“I know. ‘Being a Vampire doesn’t have to suck’? As far as I’m concerned, it does. Totally.”
“On the other hand,” I tell her, “if he’s gonna be waiting for us with sharpened wooden stakes, you might have cured his Wussyism. Maybe all isn’t lost.”
“True. There’s always hope; but as of right now, I don’t have any place to stay. I’m not only no longer invited in Pete’s place, or Jimmy’s. I won’t be welcomed by any of our friends.”
I reminded her, “Check the listings in the Handbook.”
“Listen Vicky.” She told me, “I did spend yesterday morning here inside the Club, where I was safe from the daylight. So it looks like it’ll have to be the same for me again today. I’m sure that any of the upholstered benches inside one of the booths will be comfortable enough. Then as soon as I can, I’ll see about finding myself some good accommodations to rent.”
“No problem.” I said, I’ll have to find something for myself too.”
Kate sighed. “None of that would be necessary if Pete and I had just stayed in Sangreville. Or if I’d agreed to be demonized, I might now be staying in excellent accommodations, in the Demonic Dimension of Beelzebubia, and never come back.”