Chapter 18 - ???
Always sitting in the dark corner of the room, trying to understand why these things happen was most of my childhood. People were disgusted by my appearance, so I had no friends. I used to imagine that there was someone there talking to me so I could be happy. This desperate wanting of love and attention created this persona. Someone who was always with me wherever I go, asking me if I'm okay whenever I'm sad or tired, complimenting me and making me smile or laugh as much as it can. Even though I knew that this persona wasn't real, at least I was happy. The problem was, this persona was also the reason why I felt hatred. It wasn't just an imaginary friend anymore, it was like a real presence unseen to the eye but I could've sworn it was talking to me.
My brother was confined in the hospital, comatose for about 3 years already. He had a frail and weak body but our mother would always stay by his side while she pushes me away. It was obvious why she was doing this of course. My brother had an image of an angel while I looked like a monster. I would always stay by my brother's side, talking to him when our mother was not around. Never once, did I felt hatred for him. I loved him and hoped that he would be my friend. Always by his side, holding his hand, waiting for him to wake up.
My mother caught me holding his hand and drove me away, shouting at me saying "Let go of my baby!" over and over. The nurses had to help her calm down and asked me to go outside to play for a while. I wrapped a scarf around my neck up to my cheeks to hide my face and started walking away from the hospital.
"Your mother is a freak" my persona said.
"No, she's just worried about him."
"And not worried about you? You are her son as well, you know"
"Yeah, but he's the one who is suffering."
"Idiot! You are suffering even more than he is!"
"That's not true. I'm awake and I can go around and play anytime I want"
"but she loves him and not you"
"That doesn't matter..." I said wanting to cry.
"It should matter! Are you just going to let this happen? Not even gonna stand up for yourself?" it said angrily.
"Well, what can I do?" I asked feeling frustrated.
"Kill your brother."
"Kill him and you'll see how things will play out."
"I can't do that!"
"Yes you can, when your mother leaves, just unplug his life support and it would be all over. There's no blood involved, no violence, no gore. Just you... winning"
"When your brother is gone, your mom would be depressed and she would want comfort. That's when you would come in and she would love you even more than she loves your brother now." it explained. It sounded like a good plan. No blood... no violence... no gore. Just me, winning. I stared out in space just thinking about it for a while.
"Hello" A cheerful voice said. "Are you okay?" I stared at the girl with mahogany hair, who was talking to me and felt a warm feeling against my cheeks. I nodded carefully and the voice of my persona faded away.
"Why are you wearing a scarf? It's summer, silly!" she said with a giggle while I just stood there looking like an idiot.
"Are you shy?" she asked me.
"No, I just... You can't talk to me" I babbled.
"Because... I'm... you'll get scared"
"Why would I get scared?"
"I'm not normal"
"So? Normal is boring and I don't think anyone is normal, people are all different. What's normal anyway?" she said.
"I... kind of look like a monster"
"Cool" She said with her eyes widening in excitement. "Let me see! Let me see!" she insisted.
"Are you sure? You might not get any sleep tonight!" I warned her but she just laughed and said "come on, please?" I sighed and nodded again before she took hold of my scarf and revealed my hideous appearance.
"No, don't look. I'm not ready!" I said and covered my face with my hands. She grabbed my hand and slowly looked at me and smiled.
"You look cute, that's just a birth mark silly!" she said as she kept holding my hand. Her touch was warm against my skin and I couldn't forget her smile.
"Let's go home!" someone called out.
"Oh! That's my mom, I gotta go" she said hurriedly and let go of my hand.
"Wait! uhm..." I stopped her.
"Will you be here tomorrow?" I asked
"Yeah, sure. I'll see you again!" she said and ran off.