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By JcLaughing All Rights Reserved ©

Horror / Thriller

Chapter 1

The air was humid on that night, I laid with my head against the old brick wall behind me, A scary thought this wall gave, the crumbled pieces around showed that even the strongest and most sturdy of things, can and will one day fall apart.

I was banging my head against the brick to the beat of the bells tolling in the distance, sad this was indeed, someone, somewhere had died, their life ended, who knows what they left behind, or who. And if they didn't have someone to leave behind, then that would be even more tragic, the only thing worst would be dying without a name.

After the last bell rang I took a long puff on my cigarette the but pinched between my thumb and pointer, then and there, it was my last cigarette, I decided this as I stood up. As I tossed the butt to the ground it seemed to fall in slow motion and as soon as it landed I heard the siren of an ambulance, could someone else be dying? What a night this is indeed, it would be close as well, the noise was getting louder. The air was really getting to me, my blood was too thick for this kind of heat, "I'll leave before the storm" I said to myself, my only real regret was I didn't say goodbye to her, she was far too kind for the likes of me I couldn't see what she saw, she had a way of always looking at the up side of things, and I guess for a guy that always has his eyes on the ground it just couldn't work.

Well, I do have another regret; I didn't get to say sorry. The sound of the ambulance got closer, and closer until I could see the flashing lights it stopped a few feet from me and a car pulled up beside, she got out. I thought it was fitting; how I walked through her as she ran to my body. I turned around a last time as she picked up my cigarette and uttered a single word before walking away. I don't know where I'll go, or where ill end up but I do have a regret, she didn't hear that last word..."Sorry"

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Alex Reltin: This is a great story! I love how well you go into detail and emotions of Capri, and Mel. You have amazing dialogue and overall it's just a thrill to read!The only critique I could find is that some of the paragraphs should be separated. For example:-"If Nia would have just let me take the car an...

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Shelley Miller: The ideas and the set up and this are amazing! The feel of the story goes from science fiction to horror to suspense all in a big, thrilling ball. I really like your character so far and her powers and the idea of the ark being a person. The world is intense and gritty and clever as well. While a...

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Bryan Laesch, author of Remnants of Chaos:Chaotic Omens for his use of the Gothic style of writing and in addition the footnotes and endnotes at the end of each chapter, a welcome accompaniment to be sure, though his use of grammar could use a little improving, but his use of punctuation...

pikagirl311: Katie Masters has definite skill when it comes to plot work and characters. The story is well-paced and pulls you along with the tide, keeping you hooked until the very end. The only reason I did not give it five stars across the board is due to a few minor quibbles with misspellings and such lik...

MusketeerAdventure: Well - I really enjoyed this very much! The whole idea of a shared haunting really intrigues me. I thought you did a wonderful job; and I really liked the idea of hearing from the first ghost's point of view. It would be interesting to read more about these two - and the ghost-busters that inf...

AJDay: Hello JaimePAvane,So, this is my first review on this site, and I am glad I found your story. I like where you are going with it and I am curious to see what future chapters look like. Firstly, your narrator; I love that she is describing not just her life but the world around her. Obviously a wo...

Tanya Daigle Rusheon: This book is a long and twisty tale full of sweet romance, adorable fluff, anxiousness, trust issues, mind games, things that don't make sense until suddenly they do, heartache and reconciliation just when you need it the most. If that all sounds a bit vague, it's because I really don't want to s...

europeanlove: I gotta hand it to you. I love reading. I read books everyday. When the book is good I can read it in probably 13 hours. Your story was amazing. Great prose, very imaginative. Incredible dialogue. I am deeply impressed. Keep it up.

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