Morgan woke up in cold sweat, like he did most mornings. His nightmares were still vivid. All he could think about was the blood on his hands. In fact, he was drowning in the blood of all the people he’s killed.
If he just lets go of his conscience, then all the nightmares will stop, the aching guilt and regret will stop, his physical sickness will stop. As long as he’s telling himself that he doesn’t mean to, he will continue to be miserable.
He looked around his room, his eyes adjusting to the light. He felt sick but that was because he hadn’t had a drink in a day. He’s been sober for twenty-four hours and it made him feel like utter shit. He sat up slowly, pushing his hair out of his face and felt his cheeks, the immense warmth at the palm of his hand. He had a fever. His withdrawal was killing him.
He knew it was good to not be drunk.
He can’t drink his way through life. Alcohol wasn’t going to cure his misery.
He knew much better.
Jaymin was already gone for the day, and that helped him breathe a little better. Morgan got out of bed and got ready for work, hoping that his first day back he wasn’t ambushed by law enforcement.
He’s had a lot to think about.
Elijah had him questioning how things should be.
It made it hard to be on one side.
Morgan thought about it all while he showered and got dressed, had breakfast, and fought with himself to not pull out a bottle of tequila like it was orange juice. He thought about what he should tell Elijah, if he should tell Elijah anything.
He knew the right thing to do.
But he wanted Jaymin’s blood to be on his own hands.
It wouldn’t be fair if Elijah was the one that took Jaymin away from him. Morgan was the one that was suffering, not Elijah.
Morgan didn’t remember holding the exact bottle of tequila he thought about drinking, but it ended up in his hand. The bottle wasn’t opened, but he was just about to do it when he finally came back to reality. He set it aside and went to grab his suit jacket.
He should get going.
He had to be part of the world. He had to do adult things. He had to make it seem like nothing happened, like he had been here the entire time, that his life continued though it had stopped for a few days.
He wanted his old mundane life, but that wasn’t going to happen.
He knew what he was, what he did, what he liked to do. That wasn’t going to change.
Until he wants to deal with it however, he was going to have a hard time.
Throughout the day, Morgan went through a few things that he remembered about the day before. Jaymin takes care of a lot things when it comes to keeping who they really are quiet. Morgan knew how he did it, but he didn’t know who did it for him. He’s heard a few names come up, but it’s not like he was paying attention. However now, the true detective in him came out. He began searching a few people that he knew about and thought about the best way to handle his...situation.
It would be a cry for help.
And this time, it better work.
Morgan wanted to see someone, but someone wanted to see him.
It was bad timing.
Jaymin saw Elijah on the other side of the street and he just about lost it. Before he could get over to him, clearly about to expose himself by killing Elijah with his bare hands, Morgan stopped him, getting in between them at just the right time. Elijah was about to pull his gun from where it was at his belt, but he didn’t get that far either.
They were a distance away from each other, and if Morgan was a second too late, a blood bath may have happened.
He took Jaymin by the arm, telling him to behave because there was no reason to ruin everything they’ve worked so hard to keep under wraps. Hopefully, in a few days to maybe a few weeks, they will be gone, and there will be nothing to worry about.
Jaymin was not calm, but it was enough.
Morgan stepped away from him and went over to Elijah. His expression was plain as he looked Elijah in the eyes. He was always daring, but for the past couple weeks, it wasn’t easy to be seen. Now, he had nothing to lose. Elijah wasn’t scared of Morgan, though he should be.
He wanted to know what was going to happen next.
“Being in public won’t stop him.” Morgan said quietly, as if they were the only people in the street. “It’s not a good idea to face him head on either.” he warned.
“He’s watching.” Morgan stopped him from saying anything. “Just nod your head.” Morgan said and Elijah complied, slightly confused. “As far as he’s concerned, I’m only telling you to stay away.”
“Don’t.” he warned and held his hand out. “Don’t call, don’t text, don’t show up at my office.” he said as Elijah took his hand.
From around, it just looked like they were about to leave each other. And that’s what happened. Morgan turned to leave Elijah standing there.
Elijah felt the small piece of paper at the crook of his thumb. Morgan was helping, but he’d be damned if he got caught doing it.
Elijah couldn’t text Morgan, he couldn’t call Morgan, he couldn’t show up at his office.
On the slip of paper was a name and address. Elijah had no idea what he was looking at, but he had to check it out, right? It’s not like Morgan would lead him into a trap. Elijah continued to stare at the piece of paper in his hand. The address led to the southern part of the city, probably near the older areas and neighborhoods.
It was late in the afternoon when Elijah stood in the parking lot of the old run down shop. There was only one other car there, a twelve year old Corolla parked in the space in front of the door. The area was old. Elijah could hear sirens of cop cars and ambulances, which made him pause. He couldn’t move until that sound was gone.
Was he experiencing mental trauma from that evening?
He blinked and took a breath. When the sound was gone, he found himself walking forward on his own. He had a job to do, he might as well do it to get it over with. The faster he gets his answers, the faster he gets out of here.
Elijah walked into the small gun shop that was lowly lit. There was cigar smoke that filled the air. He looked around for something that would give a clue but there was nothing for him to latch on to. It was just a gun shop.
Spanish music was playing in the background. Behind the glass counter stood an old man, smoking a cigar, and wiping a shot gun clean. Compared to all the other guns he had on display, the shot gun was the oldest looking. Was this man selling things that he shouldn’t?
Is that what Elijah should be paying attention to?
“What’re you looking for, man?” the old man asked once he took his cigar out of his mouth, holding on to his gun with his other hand. Elijah stepped up to the counter, looking at the guns on display but he didn’t care.
He was here for a reason.
“I was told you could do something for me.” Elijah started, hoping that would help get things rolling. He had no idea where this was supposed to go, so he had to improvise.
“Huh.” the man put his gun down on the counter. ”Something. Got no clue, gotta elaborate.” The man said.
Elijah was pushing his luck. He wasn’t going to get anything out of this visit unless he proves that he knows something.
“Know Sorrel?” he asked.
The man groaned and slammed his hands down on the counter violently. “You tell that fucker to leave me the hell alone.” he spat out, his disdain visible on his face. “I swear to God, I want nothing more than to see him choke.”
Elijah had no idea what Jaymin could’ve done to him, but it looked serious. That man was already sweating, like he had a secret and Jaymin was dangling it in his face.
“Look, I just-”
“Whatever. So what’d you do? Kill someone?” He asked, the question catching Elijah off guard. He stammered to answer but the man didn’t care. “Need to cross the border? Trying to go to Mexico or Canada?-”
“Yeah.” Elijah lied, picking up on the fact that this man probably did fake IDs and passports. “Preferably in a few days.”
“Since you know that bitch, I have no choice but to do it for free.” he groaned again. “He’s the actual fucking devil. I’m trying to make a living for my family, and here he comes to ruin everything.” The man complained. “What’d you want your passport to say?” he asked.
“Your passport.” the man said. “I need a name and date of birth to get it done for you. Just show me ID or something.” he said.
Elijah finally found his way in.
He took his badge out of his jacket and set it on the table next to the shot gun he could clearly grab if he needed to. The man rolled his eyes and sighed heavily. What did he think was going to happen? Elijah didn’t have to say anything, the man knew he was getting arrested.
Within just half an hour, Elijah had that man sitting in a room. Currently, his charges were pending. If he had anything to say about who Elijah was interested in, then maybe he might be let off with just a warning.
The man’s name was Joey Matias. He was from Honduras. He had a family to take care of, wife and a few kids. He owned the gun shop, but behind the scenes he forged various forms of identification, even from different countries. He helped immigrants get into the country, helped drug dealers expand, and helped criminals find their way around.
Apparently, his most recent passports and IDs done were for people who were French.
At least, that’s what the story is.
Elijah needed this to be quick. He wasn’t going to spend his night wasting time with a man who wanted to get caught for something petty. There was an officer by the door, keeping quiet, because the last thing he wanted was for Elijah to rip him a new one.
Everyone wanted to leave.
So Elijah was going to make this quick.
“You know him.” Elijah put a picture of Jaymin down on the table.
Joey looked at the photo for just one second before turning away. “Nope.”
Elijah clearly remembered when Joey responded to the fake name. He had a picture so there was no way there could be confusion. “You’re lying-” Elijah was about to call him out on it.
“Listen, I have a family to take care of and I ain’t no snitch, okay. You think I want to get my head bashed in with a baseball bat? I don’t need brain damage.” The man sat back and crossed his arms over his chest.
Elijah snapped his fingers in front of the man to get him to focus, then tapped his finger on the picture. “Is he threatening to kill you?”
“Getting killed would be a luxury, man.”
“You’re literally going to get deported if I file these charges against you. You have multiple warrants out, you’ve broken probation twice, and we found crystal in your shop.”
“You went in without a warrant-”
“Gave me probable cause after admitting to selling fake IDs, so what’s it gonna be?” Elijah asked.
He needs one person to give Jaymin up. It sure as hell wasn’t going to be Morgan. There was no way he would do it explicitly and bluntly. Elijah was going to be subjected to petty clues and hints. He was going to have to settle. The rest has to be done by him.
“I don’t want to get deported-”
That sounded great to Elijah. “Awesome-”
“-But you ain’t threatening to kill me, so I guess back to my country it is.” the man said plainly.
Jaymin can’t possibly be that scary, Elijah didn't want to believe it. This man was about to have his life uprooted and was going to be taken away from his family. He was going to have nothing. But Jaymin instilled so much fear into him that being separated from his family was a much better solution than getting tortured. Of course it was better. That man liked being alive.
“Is Jaymin Rose threatening to kill you?” Elijah asked again.
“I don’t know who that is.” the man said.
Elijah gave up. He couldn’t keep this up for another hour. He gestured to the officer by the door to get the process started.
Elijah wasn’t going to get much out of this, however this was a start. He couldn’t say it was a complete waste of time.
What he didn’t know was that he was being used.
This was the best way to stall, at least for a few days.
Morgan was giving Elijah chances to get this on his own, he better take one of them.
Morgan was having another nightmare. It was bittersweet, like he so desperately wanted what his mind said no to. He breathed heavily in bed, one hand clutching his pillow, the other around his gun that he always kept close to him.
Beside him, Jaymin was bored. He had a lot to think about and do today, however his plans were halted and set back unfortunately. Someone he knew got arrested.
So how was he going to fix that?
For some reason he was always cleaning up the mess, and as much as he doesn’t mind, he didn’t need the trouble.
Jaymin moved over Morgan, shaking him to wake him up but it didn’t work. He knew Morgan was having a nightmare but that was the least of his concern.
“Morgan.” Jaymin tried to get him up. “I’m hungry. Are you going to make breakfast?” He asked quietly, getting close.
“Hm.” Morgan wasn’t planning on moving.
He wasn’t awake. Jaymin hated how Morgan could waste the day away. They weren’t in a position to be doing that at the moment, especially with how Morgan wanted to leave days ago.
Jaymin moved over Morgan.
He was never one for showing respect and he sure as hell wasn’t going to do it now. He was going to wake Morgan up, and he was going to have fun doing it.
“Morgan...” He cooed, his hands traveling lower to Morgan’s sweatpants.
“I swear to God, if you touch me I will kill you.” Morgan mumbled his threat.
“No, you won’t.” Jaymin laughed to himself. “You like when I touch you.” He didn’t stop his hands from slipping inside Morgan’s pants, feeling his warm skin at his fingertips.
Would Morgan lie and say he didn’t like when Jaymin touched him? It was always inconvenient, he would admit that. And in the past couple of weeks, Jaymin wasn’t as wild as he could be. Morgan didn’t even try to open his eyes when he felt Jaymin touching him, his fingers wrapping around his cock. And when he felt his mouth, Morgan took a deep breath through his nose.
All he wanted was to sleep in.
Though, Jaymin was going to make that difficult.
Morgan didn’t stir as Jaymin sucked him off. It was easy to see when Morgan got into it; he was breathing harder, his heart was beating faster, his hands were gripping tighter on the blanket. Now he wanted it. Now he wanted to push Jaymin’s head down further to choke him.
That would feel amazing.
Jaymin got a glimpse of Morgan’s face as he felt his hand in his hair. Morgan had just barely opened his eyes, he was still tired and groggy from being woken up. All he could really focus on was the warmth between his legs. His eyes fluttered, trying to adjust to the light, plus he was overwhelmed with the sudden pleasure.
This was not how he wanted to wake up but he sure wasn’t going to complain until afterwards.
Morgan gripped Jaymin’s hair and forced his head down, his cock reaching deeper into Jaymin’s throat. A muffled laugh came from between his lips. Morgan had no interest in entertaining whatever Jaymin was interested in. At the moment, all he wanted was his release. A blow job wasn’t going to be enough unless Morgan was literally fucking his mouth. He needed more.
He yanked on Jaymin’s hair, pulling him up so his mouth would let go.
Now Morgan was awake.
They would probably spend the rest of the morning in bed, like usual. It would always take Jaymin so long to get tired. He loved feeling Morgan touch him, even choke him. Morgan couldn’t say that he didn’t like it. Jaymin was the reason why he was interested in the first place.
Jaymin got to decide how long he wanted to ride Morgan for. It doesn’t matter how many times he cums or if Morgan was tired. He would get to say when this was over. No wonder he loved spending the mornings with Morgan, they got to do things like this for hours without having to stop.
He had to admit that vanilla sex wasn’t so bad, at least with Morgan.
What would he do to get his hands tied up. He missed his toys. Morgan didn’t care for them like Jaymin did. One day he was going to have to get them back so they could play. They needed to do something as wild as they were.
Jaymin just couldn’t get enough of him.
His hands were all over him. He would trace his fingers over the scars on his arms, on his hands, the J on his collar bone. Morgan was his.
Nothing turned him on more than to know that Morgan was so weak for him.
Morgan could be as mean as he wanted to be, but he will always go back to Jaymin because there was no where else for him to be, no one else for him to be with.
All he had was Jaymin.
Sex wasn’t the only way for them to show that they belonged to each other. It would only hold them for a few hours before they needed to feel that euphoria again. If Jaymin was lucky, he would be able to get Morgan to run wild tonight and have some real fun.
Morgan picked up his dog that was resting on the couch. He was always so quiet that Morgan would forget he was here. This dog was the only thing that gave him peace. At least he didn’t bark or bite back at Morgan. There was one thing he could show love to and not get hurt by it.
Jaymin hated that dog.
“That dumb dog needs to go.” Jaymin muttered under his breath.
Morgan was holding his gun in his other hand. He never really went anywhere without it. He didn’t like when Jaymin threatened his pets. Rex was the only one that Morgan got to keep for weeks, and he would like to have him around. So of course Morgan was more than over protective of the one thing he could show actual love for.
“I’m going to take him for a walk.” Morgan said.
Jaymin turned around quickly when he heard Morgan was leaving. “What about breakfast?-”
“Can’t you cook for yourself?” Morgan turned around to stare at him.
Almost every morning, Morgan would cook for Jaymin. The only times he doesn’t is when he’s hung over or dissociating so hard that he forgot what basic needs were. Morgan shouldn’t have to feed him all the time. But Jaymin whined.
“I like when you make breakfast.”
“Please,” Jaymin pouted as he stood in front of him. He was being cheeky like he usually is.
Morgan does not like giving in, but he was in a good mood so there was no harm done. He let Rex down on the floor so he could walk around on his own.
Jaymin smiled. It was nice when Morgan chose him over everything else. That’s how it usually is. Morgan was good at saying no to Jaymin, but sometimes, it wasn’t bad to give in. Morgan didn’t say anything as Jaymin stepped closer, his hand moving in Morgan’s hair as he kissed him slowly. All this for breakfast food.
Morgan wasn’t believing it but it was too late.
He felt a stabbing pain at his lower stomach, like something was piercing through his skin. He gasped at the sudden shock his body experienced, but Jaymin didn’t let him go, not yet. Morgan could feel the kiss deepen at his lips but all he could focus on was the pain.
His shirt was staining red with his blood. His hands tried to feel what was doing it; his fingers felt over Jaymin’s hand that was gripping a knife; it pierced through his skin, deep enough to cause damage. And when Morgan tried to fight it, Jaymin gripped his hair tighter to bring his head back and forced the knife deeper into Morgan, making him groan from the severe pain.
“Let’s talk a about a few things.” Jaymin said quietly. “You ain’t the type to play tricks, Morgan, we both know that.”
Morgan couldn’t even respond. But he knew what this was about.
“Every time some unfortunate event happens, that little shit you call a friend is there.” Jaymin said through his teeth. Morgan tried to look him in the eyes but the pain was too much. “If you don’t want to leave, you can just tell me.”
Morgan interfered and got Jaymin's guy arrested yesterday. Instead of taking it out on Elijah, Jaymin would of course abuse Morgan for it; after all it, was Morgan’s idea in the first place.
Morgan still had his gun in his hand, and he had it pressed under Jaymin’s chin. His finger was about to pull the trigger but his hand was shaking. He couldn’t focus. He couldn’t think. The pain and the blood loss clouded his thoughts.
“I’m hesitating because I like you, Morgan.” Jaymin whispered to him. “You’re hesitating because you’re scared. Want to guess which one of us will actually go for it?”
Morgan was desperate. He wanted to kill him. That would be the easiest solution. That would free him. But he couldn’t do it no matter how hard he wanted to, no matter how determined he was, no matter how much pain he was put through.
“You have one chance. Fuck it up again and I’ll pull your intestines out.” Jaymin threatened.
Morgan got it.
He wouldn’t try again.
Jaymin smiled when he knew Morgan understood. If only he didn’t misbehave before, Jaymin wouldn’t have to have blood on his hands. Well, he didn’t mind a little discipline. He let go, leaving the knife in the bloody wound. Morgan’s hand were shaking as he tried to pull the knife out but he didn’t have the strength.
He was becoming more lightheaded by the second.
Jaymin kissed his cheek, his hand rubbing in his hair. He took a breath before pressing his lips to his ear. “You know better than to fuck around with me.” He whispered lowly.
Morgan told himself he did know better. What did he think he was doing? He sure as hell wasn’t going to get far. Jaymin wasn’t stupid. Now depending on how Jaymin felt, he might bleed to death.
Jaymin wouldn’t let that happen though. He liked Morgan too much for that.
He held Morgan’s face with both hands, blood getting on one cheek. He kept his gaze with Morgan’s eyes, seeing the light just about leave them.
That was the kind of fear Jaymin enjoyed seeing.
He kissed Morgan’s lips again, his hands lifting from his face. Morgan was still shaking and he gasped for air from the pain that made him seem stars. When he couldn’t hold himself up any longer, he slipped to his knees, his hand still loosely gripping the knife that pierced into his lower abdomen. His eyes fluttered, rolling as he began to lose consciousness from the blood loss.
He fell on the floor. The small pool of blood was on the floor and it continued to grow from his wound.
His dog had come by and stood by Morgan’s shoulder, wanting him to get up so they could go on their walk, but that wasn’t going to happen.
Morgan didn’t get up.