Epilogue One: The Transition
I’ve been in the hospital for almost three weeks. I had to have five surgeries to fix my leg but they aren’t done yet. Because of the shape my body is, I can’t stand the pressure of constantly taking anesthetics for surgery. I’m trapped here but it’s okay. I’ve dealt with worse.
“Morgan,” Harley peaked in my room door and smiled. She usually comes to see me since no one else does. I don’t tell people I don’t have family near by. “I brought someone to see you.” She said as she walked in.
A few other officers walked into my room in uniform. She didn’t have to pull them out of work just to see me. I know I haven’t seen anyone else in a while, but they don’t have to come when they’re busy.
Kane had flowers in his hand and I knew why. I haven’t talked to any of the officers after that night. I only heard that Kane was the one to hand off the case to Michael by accident but he didn’t know as much as I did.
“Morgan, I am so sorry for fucking everything up. I had no idea Michael would-”
“It wasn’t your fault, Kane.” I tried to ease his panic.
Not one of us here knew Michael would be on Jaymin’s side. I don’t know why he was or why he wanted to be, but he was and that won’t change. Three weeks ago won’t change. At this point, I was okay.
“Is your leg fixed yet?” Adrian asked.
“I have three more surgeries to go.” I said and moved the blanket to show them my leg that was slightly twisted. There was a long scar running up the anterior of my leg from the incision and it wasn’t straight.
“How long before you’re back?” Kane asked. “We still need your help catching Jaymin. We have no idea where he is, yet the murders keep happening.”
I glanced over to Harley. Did she not tell them that the Chief took me off the case? Not only is my leave of absence extensive, I don’t have direct access to keep up with the case. From what I’ve heard in the first week, things kicked in to overdrive with the murders. That didn’t surprise me.
“I don’t work on that case anymore, guys.” I told them. “You should really follow whoever is in charge for this one.”
I know Harley wouldn’t take it. She doesn’t like murder cases. The absolute commitment of just being beside me during this case stressed her out. There was no way she was going to take responsibility by herself. We know that.
“We would, trust us.” Charles said, “But our entire force got cut in half. So many people got fired, or are under investigation, or have been arrested. We don’t know what to do.”
“I’m sorry I can’t help.” I tried to seem sincere, I really did, but I’m one more bad day away from quitting.
“Why don’t you want to become Chief-”
“That’s too much work, I never intended to go that far.” I sighed.
I’ve gotten the question before, and every time I say no. I haven’t been interested in moving up the ranks. I don’t have a reason to when the benefits don’t change.
My job is cozy, the pay is okay, and my life is stable. I don’t want to not have a cozy job for a little increase in pay and put that above the other parts of my personal life.
“You’re not going to quit, are you?” Adrian just has a slight hint about me and what my plan truly was.
I could only shrug.
That’s about it.
I don’t know if I’m going to quit. Out of my years of working, I’ve never felt this determined to not be here. I even considered moving again because I’m that tired. It’s like, I’ve maxed out on my time here. I lost my drive to keep going when my leg got broken.
I’ve been shot before, I’ve been in bomb situations, I’ve seen a lot of things, but all it really took was to be a hundred percent sure a person I knew too much about was a murderer. I don’t need this. I got my leg broken in a gruesome way, I mean, who jumps on someone’s leg? That’s infuriating.
“You guys should get going, right? You have that training seminar in half an hour.” Harley said as she sat down by my bedside.
“Right, right.” They scrambled around, Kane left the flowers on the night stand and they all left.
It was just the two of us now.
Harley comes by every few days to see me. She must be tired of coming to the hospital but she shows up anyway. She’s the only person that I really tell things to and I told her I wasn’t interested in hearing about the case anymore. The only reason she mentions it is because there’s some threat from the FBI coming but we don’t know when.
“If you really do quit, who am I supposed to work with?” She pouted miserably.
“Mindy’s nice. And didn’t you tell me Tony got promoted? I hear he’s got strong work ethic.” I tried to make her feel better.
“Don’t go.” She said quietly.
“I don’t even know if I’ll be able to walk with both legs again.” I gestured to my twisted leg. “All I hear from the nurses is “Wow, that’s definitely some trauma” or “Sucks to have one leg”. I have never been more conflicted.” I complained to her.
“How long will you have to do rehab?” She asked.
“They don’t know until my last surgery.” I sighed.
I really did get screwed. That’s the worst part about this. Everything fell apart with just one person. I knew but I still didn’t do anything.
“I might need a wheelchair.” I’ve never had a wheelchair before. I’ve never broken my leg before. “My apartment isn’t wheelchair accessible by the way, there’s steps everywhere, I’ll never make it.” I told her.
“You can stay with me.” She was sincere.
“You still have all those fish aquariums at your place?”
“Would you prefer I get a dog or something?” She laughed.
“No, it’s fine.” I smiled. “Let’s just see what happens after my next few surgeries.” I said.
“I think you’ll be fine.” She said and got up from the chair. “I’ll come by tomorrow. It’s my day off and I don’t have anything to do.”
She’s the only one I don’t mind talking to while I’m here. I can’t walk so I’m stuck in bed and can’t go anywhere even if it’s just leaving my room. The nurses try to talk to me but I would just prefer to sit quietly and wait till Harley comes again.
I’ve had a lot of time to reflect and think on everything that’s been going on, that’s why the time flies.
Before I knew it, I was asleep again. I have to take sedatives so I don’t feel the pain. I don’t get a lot of pain medications just because I need to watch my health, so sleeping is the best way to not deal with the pain consciously.
When I wake up, I just get a numbing pain in my neck, something that I can ignore. Every few days I go through surgery to fix my bones.
In the morning, I looked around the room because I got the sense that someone was here. Not like a nurse was in my room to bring me breakfast, but someone else was here, someone that wasn’t supposed to be here. There was a nurse by the window, opening the shades to let in the sunlight. There was breakfast on the table beside my bed; it was just fruits and yogurt to get my metabolism going.
I stared at the bowl of fruits first.
I could smell peaches.
I picked up the bowl and looked at the fruits. There were small bits of peaches mixed in with the strawberries, grapes, and apples.
Maybe I’m still on medication and I’m imagining the peaches.
“Are there peaches in the fruits?” I asked the nurse.
“There better not be.” She said as she reached for the knot of the curtains. “You’re allergic to peaches, aren’t you?”
I am. And for three weeks, I hadn’t had any problems with the fruit when I asked for some. This has to do with the terrible feeling I have in my gut.
If I hadn’t smelled the peaches and ate the fruit without knowing there were peaches in the bowl, I would’ve gone into anaphylactic shock.
The nurse came over to me and looked at the fruit.
“That’s odd.” She could smell it before looking into the bowl. “I don’t know who got the other fruits but let me get you a different bowl.” she said as she began to leave my room.
“Oh, one more thing.” I said before she walked out the door. “Did I have a visitor during the night?” I asked.
“We usually don’t let people into patient rooms during the night.” She said before stepping out.
Well, I feel like someone was here. I took a deep breath to calm down. I have my next surgery tomorrow and I shouldn’t stress myself out.
It was quiet in my room. All I had to listen to was the TV and the heart monitor. Everyday gets more draining. But it was around four in the afternoon and that’s when Harley usually comes by. She came alone today, like she always does except for yesterday.
“How are you feeling today?” she asked as she took a seat by my bed side.
“I’m really bored of being here honestly.” I sighed and leaned my head back on the pillow.
Being in the sterile environment for so long has been draining. As much as I know that I need to stay here to get better and let my leg heal, I really just want to go home. I would prefer to be at home instead.
“You have to want both your legs.”
“I mean, if I lose one, I won’t need to work.” I said.
“Are you really thinking about quitting?” Harley complained. “I don’t want to see you go. It’s been like three and half years together.” she pouted.
“Harley, I am so tired. I can’t do this anymore.” I was being truthful. ” Both the bones in my lower leg snapped.”
“At least you’re still here.” she said quietly. “When I heard that you were down, I thought it was fatal.”
What I don’t tell her is what I’m still going through. I wouldn’t call it PTSD, then again, I’m suffering mentally. What I see makes me feel like worse things happened. I can’t think straight, I see and notice things I wouldn’t notice if nothing ever happened to me. I can’t tell Harley that I’m suffering more, and its not because I don’t want her view of me to change, but because she’ll worry so much for me that she’ll make it her priority to watch over me.
“I didn’t want to tell you this, but the FBI wants to talk to you about the case.” she said.
Already that sounded like a problem.
“They want to offer you a position.”
“When they ask me in person, I’ll say no.” I looked down at my hands as I thought to myself.
I already said that I don’t want to move up in the ranks. Becoming part of the FBI is not what I want. Its even worse that they’re only considering me because of the murder case I’ve been working for months. I want nothing to do with the case anymore.
“I know this is a great opportunity or whatever, but I just can’t.” I shook my head and sighed. “Plus, I don’t even know if I’ll be able to walk again.” I gestured to my broken leg.
“Think about it. Even if you don’t take the job with the FBI, come back anyway.” she said sincerely. “We still need you and it’s really nice to have you as a lead on a case.”
“I’d rather just go to sleep.” I felt tired.
“You’ve always been working and sleeping. Nothing is going to change now.”
What my main concern right now is knowing if I’m going to be able to walk again. I have a few more surgeries to deal with before I get a definite answers. That’s the only thing I want to stress about. Whether or not I’ll have a job left really isn’t my concern at the moment. If the FBI wants to talk to me, they’ll come talk to me, but right now, I need to know if I’ll be able to walk again.
Harley told me about her day and how people at work wanted her to come in because more crazies decided to show up. They’re still on the look out for Jaymin, which isn’t surprising since he’s been hidden from everyone for months while the original murder case was happening.
By now, I can expect that he has changed his look and has a new identity. I wouldn’t be surprised.
Instead of talking about what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, I listened to Harley’s day instead. She’s had to take on a lot of my unfinished work. I shouldn’t leave her to do what I didn’t finish but her entire goal is to work for the National Security Agency. Though, she shouldn’t have to go through the workload no matter what her goal is.
While she was talking, I thought I saw someone walk by my room that looked familiar. My body automatically knew what was about to happen; it was that same reaction, my hairs were standing on ends, I was getting goosebumps, even my heart rate jumped.
There was a nurse that walked by with short black hair. He had on the dark blue scrubs like the other nurses and a stethoscope around his neck. He had a peach in his hand that he was throwing in the air.
I got a glance of him just as he walked by my room. He was looking at me too. It was the quickest second that passed by, but it felt like a minute or longer. When he saw me, he smiled and stuck out his tongue, exposing a grey piercing in his mouth.
I looked over to Harley again, but I couldn’t hear her speak. Everything was just a blur now and I couldn’t focus. Definitely, it was the fear that was making me like this. I wanted to tell her but my mouth stayed closed and I kept my eyes on her. She talked to me like nothing was wrong and to her nothing was wrong with me. It just looked like I was listening to her talk and engaging like any other person would.
My mind was elsewhere however.
Maybe I’m hallucinating or making this up. Maybe I’m asleep and this is all a dream. I shouldn’t go off the wall because I saw something that might be untrue. I’m imagining this happen.
Or maybe my attacker is soon about to become my murderer.