TW: Bondage, vibrators, forced orgasm, implied neglect, urethral plug/penis plug
I was late to work because I had to get my stitches redone on my arms. Apparently I had a slight issue when I went home earlier in the morning that I ripped my stitches. The doctor that redid my stitches was not so nice just because I had so many that had to be redone. My arms were bandaged tighter to make sure I wouldn’t move around so much.
“Oh my God,” Harley was the first to grab me and push me to the side. “Where have you been?” she whisper yelled.
I wasn’t even going to come in today. This was out of the goodness of my heart. I’m still dizzy from blood loss and I can intake only so much nutrients at a time. Let’s consider that I can feel my arms throbbing from my severe wounds.
“Why are you here?” I asked her as I looked around. She had a little too much to drink last night. I can remember that. “You’re hungover-”
“Well you were on the brink of death-”
“What’s your point?” I hissed at her.
The only reason she was being so secretive was because we were going to get ambushed with questions. I was going to be ambushed with questions.
Today is not a good day either.
“I’m sorry your birthday ended badly.” I apologized to her quietly.
“I know something awful was going to happen. Then again, I didn’t think I’d find you bleeding out to death.” She said.
I feel bad that she had to find me like that. She didn’t deserve that, especially on her birthday.
“You know what though,” she leaned in as she whispered to me. “I expected Jaymin to sound tougher.” she laughed quietly to herself. “You know, have a little more gruff in his voice.”
I stared at her for a second as she laughed. Was that what was going through her mind when he called her?
“He is rather young.” I guess that’s something I forgot. He’s just a few years younger than I am, but to be able to brutally murder people the way he has makes people underestimate him.
“Probably still in his rebellious phase.” she covered her mouth because she was about to laugh too hard. I started laughing, too.
We shouldn’t joke around about him. If he knew Harley was laughing at him, he’d really come for her life. I couldn’t help but laugh a little harder at the thought. It wasn’t funny, but it was the way we thought about it that made us laugh.
“I wasn’t sure if it was okay to threaten a minor.” she couldn’t stop laughing.
I did my best to mash my lips together to not laugh so hard, but I couldn’t help the sputter. I was so embarrassed for laughing at such a gruesome situation. When she said she didn’t want to threaten a minor, I just had to try so hard to not give in and laugh out loud. She knew I was trying, that’s what made her laugh even hard.
We’re horrible people. We’re such horrible people. When I saw her laugh, it just made me laugh.
“Harley, we have a death wish.” I wanted to stop laughing but I couldn’t.
“I know, I know. I won’t joke around.” She covered her mouth again.
“Morgan.” I heard Keith behind me. “Harley.” When we turned around, we saw him standing there. We stopped laughing immediately. None of this would be funny to him. Harley and I have to be careful about what we say around the FBI agents.
“Is there something you need?” I asked.
“Well, we want to talk about last night.”
We? I looked to the conference room. Everyone was waiting for me, weren’t they? I was late because I was in the hospital. Today, everything was going to be centered around me because of what happened last night.
I can’t give all the details but I had to say something.
I sat at the table, my hands folded together. My hands were bandaged at my palms, and I was covered up to my shoulders. My jacket kept my injury sealed from the rest of them, but my palms were exposed.
The way they found me last night must’ve been terrifying for them.
I had glimpses of consciousness when I heard the sirens. There were people hovering over me, Harley yelling, the paramedics trying to get me up without killing me. I slipped in and out of darkness a lot before I woke up in the hospital.
I’ve had my fair share of scary incidents. Last night wasn’t the worst.
My arms were bandaged tightly so my stab wounds could heal. There would be long scars running from the crook in my elbow down to my wrist in a couple days. The paramedics were surprised that I was still alive by the time they got to me. In my own little world, I thought I was dead. I should’ve been. The shirt I wore covered the mark at my collar bone as well, the carved J that I received by knife.
I wasn’t going to forget how much fun Jaymin was having. He likes playing around with blood, especially with mine. And the pure enjoyment he had on his face while he was cutting me said it all. What’s worse was that I wasn’t screaming, I wasn’t trying to fight him, I just...let him cut me. He wouldn’t stop until he had enough blood to play with as if the person he killed before wasn’t enough.
I wasn’t going to forget the wound that I have over my collarbone, the one that Jaymin gave me to mark his territory. He didn’t want to kill me, being half dead was enough. Except that I was aware of everything that was happening and I was never going to forget.
This wasn’t torture. What Jaymin did to me wasn’t torture.
Harley sat beside me, just as quiet as I was. The others were looking at her, too, since she was the first one to get to me. It must’ve been a shock for her to see me half dead. I feel bad that she went through that. Though, now we’re joking about it. Maybe it’s a way to cope cause apparently that’s the worst thing we’ve dealt with.
“What happened?” Keith asked, wanting answers.
I’ve been lying a lot lately. Unfortunately, today I’m going to have to bring Harley into my lie. If I say something that remotely puts Jaymin in danger, he will have no problem taking Harley down as another warning.
I have to protect her.
“I was under the suspicion that a woman was going to be attacked last night.” I said. That part wasn’t the lie.
I was right.
“I told her to immediately leave her job and go home. I asked that two officers watched her for the day to make sure nothing happened to her.” I explained. “She asked me to come by, so I told her I would.”
“Morgan came and told me that he was leaving to make sure Bethany got home safely. It was only thirty minutes before I got a call from his phone.” Haley said.
“Did you call, Morgan?” Keith asked.
It’s clear that I didn’t.
“No.” I answered as I looked away. “Jaymin used my phone to call Harley for help.”
“I was...dying?” I don’t know why that didn’t register with him. I needed help.
“Why keep you alive? Last I check, he doesn’t really leave survivors.” Keith crossed his arms and glanced at Rebecca beside him.
It really was a valid question. Why keep me alive? That just proves there’s something going on with me and Jaymin.
I know I haven’t been on the FBI’s good side and I’m being questioned constantly. I was sorry that I couldn’t tell them the truth, that I couldn’t help as much as I know I should, that this was happening. There are things I know that would tip them off and make them think that I’m really on the side of a murderer when I’m not.
I know I’m not.
Not everyone trusts me, but with everything that’s happened, I wouldn’t trust myself either.
I don’t know what’s been happening to me lately.
“Morgan, what are you hiding from us?” Rebecca asked.
I haven’t told anyone that Jaymin works at the restaurant we went to last night. I haven’t tried to mention it to Harley. I don’t know why I’m keeping it a secret but I should say something.
“Probably the fact that I was assaulted and stabbed multiple times as if my broken leg wasn’t enough.” I said, just slightly bitter about my situation, but I only used the victim card to get their attention off of me keeping secrets.
I have my suspicions about the FBI as well. They don’t trust me so I have to be careful. I had to remind myself that lying was wrong, and it shouldn’t be a thing I’m constantly doing, but I had all the warning signs that I shouldn’t tell the truth. Even my body was hesitant. Just spilling what I know could cost me.
I’m surprised that I’m still working with the FBI. I thought they would’ve gotten rid of me by now but I’m here. Is it to see how far this will go? Or how far I will go? Clearly they were investigating me.
I feel like I’ve been pushed passed my limits already. I should quit.
“We’re sorry for what happened to you, Morgan, but-”
“We have a feeling you’re never telling us the truth.” Rebecca cut Keith off. “Why keep you alive? Out of anyone, why you?”
It just didn’t make sense to them.
“You know more than they let us believe.”
Then fire me. Get rid of me. Arrest me. I don’t care. It’s not like I will tell them what I know while Jaymin is around. The FBI may be taking down his friends one by one, but he’ll recover. The second he realizes all his backups are being tracked down, he’ll try to come up with a different plan.
And Jaymin isn’t stupid. He’s gotten this far without getting caught.
“If I had more to tell you, I honestly would. I don’t know that much more than you.” I said, hoping to get on their good side again. “This should really prove that.” I lifted my arms to show as evidence.
I’m a mess.
I have a lot to deal with.
And for the first time, I had a completely rational fear of getting killed. It lasted only a few minutes, but in those few minutes, I really thought Jaymin would’ve killed me.
I wanted to tell the truth but I couldn’t.
So when I had nothing else to say, I got up from my seat and left the room. I would rather do busy work than get labeled as a traitor for being neutral. Whatever the FBI does now, I wasn’t going to get in the way. I wasn’t going to stop them. I wasn’t going to tell them why they shouldn’t do what they want to do.
They were going to use everything they had on Jaymin even though I tell them all the time to play it smart. Now I won’t warn them. I can’t help anymore.
I purposely ignored any information given to me about the murder case. I didn’t want to talk about it except with Harley. I’m honestly hoping to be taken off the case. Everything I’ve gone through in this, it’s making me tired.
Harley came next to me at my desk and pulled up a chair to sit down. She had another cup of coffee in her hand to help sober her up.
“They’re going to bring the big guns.” Harley rolled her eyes. “Like, I’d bring in the swat team and go for it, but it took all this for them to grow some balls.” she complained.
“I told you why that’s a bad idea.”
“Yeah, I know. Mass murder.” she groaned.
If the FBI wants to make it difficult, then it’s their problem. I already warned them, I did my part. I won’t be around to say “I told you so” but I’ll be thinking it.
“Out of all the birthday’s I’ve had, yesterday really takes the cake.” she sighed.
As serious as it was, she started to joke around again. This was the only way for us to cope. It wasn’t till then that I realized how traumatized Harley really was. She was playing it off, but maybe she was a little scared. I know I had something to be scared about.
Though, I never really learn my lesson when it comes to these things. For some reason, I thought I was invincible with Jaymin, but last night proved to me that I actually wasn’t. He claims that he won’t kill me.
If I cross him again, then he’ll really go for it.
He doesn’t have that much time left. I can expect a trail of bodies before he’s finally brought to justice.
I went home earlier today than I usually do. My arms were beginning to throb and the medication I take for the pain makes me tired. I was lucky to be able to leave but I’m sure not everyone was happy about it. At some point, things will quiet down. Until then though, I’ll just have to get through the pain.
I don’t know what else I can suffer through.
Every day is just one surprise after another.
It’s not everyday that Jaymin wants to grace me with his presence but he ended up annoying me this morning as I tried to get used to my wounds on my arms. I remember the exact feeling I had when I caught him in my apartment after he had his fun cutting me up.
I was frightened for a few seconds. I had thought I did something wrong again. Not that I should care, but my body did. I can’t take another injury.
After the few seconds of fright though, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with him.
So, being as pissed off as I was, I had enough strength to bring him down on the floor and I tied him up to keep him in one spot. I didn’t know what he was planning on doing so I instantly went on fight or flight mode the second I got home this morning. This time, I wasn’t scared to walk inside. I knew what I was getting myself into.
I didn’t say anything as I walked around my apartment. The silence was bearable but it wasn’t the same. There was an eerie feeling that only one person could create, the feeling that a psychotic killer was nearby. I walked to my room slowly and wasn’t surprised by the sight I had waiting for me.
Jaymin was tied up and sitting by my mirror.
The only reason I wasn’t shocked was because I was the one that left him like that.
He doesn’t care about the abuse and neglect. He tells me that. Somewhere deep inside me, I feel like neglecting him will make him go crazy, extremely crazy.
For now, I wasn’t going to pay attention to him no matter how much he perked up when I walked by. I changed clothes, put stuff away, even cleaned my room, and left Jaymin sitting by himself. The only thing he could rely on was the sound of my footsteps; his eyes were blindfolded by red cloth, and his mouth gagged by the same spider gag he likes to wear.
The rope was tied all around his body. I didn’t have the time or room to take off his clothes because everything happened so quickly, so I had him restrained with all his clothes on. There was a loose knot around his neck, and it led down his chest and to his waist and hips. The other pieces were knotted to the main rope that traveled down his body. His arms were behind his back and his hands were bound by one of my belts. His legs were spread apart as he sat on his knees, the rope making sure he couldn’t move.
He has been sitting like that ever since I left for work this morning.
That was five hours ago.
How can he put up with it? I stared down at him and wondered what he was thinking, what went through his mind. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered. He tilted his head back against the mirror, a gesture like he was looking up at me. His tongue stuck out through the silver gag, his grey piercing shining.
I moved to take off the gag. And as much as he didn’t like it, I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to ask if he had enough. I wasn’t going to tell him that I was going to let him go because I wasn’t.
“Oh come on,” he groaned. “That’s not fair.” He whined.
What does he expect from me? I’m not like him. He thinks this is revenge for what he did to me earlier. I tore my stitches because of him this morning; it was hard enough to pin him down, but the second I had my foot pressing down on his head he went quiet immediately. That was after the white bandages turned red from the blood. I didn’t want this to be revenge but deep down, I knew it was.
“Are you still mad?” He asked.
He asked me that multiple times already. He wants me to be mad. It bothers him that I wasn’t. And I wasn’t going to show the anger that he wants me to.
“At you?” My annoyed tone slipped out. “For stabbing me multiple times? For carving a J into my collarbone? For almost slicing my throat?” I listed for him. “No.” I answered and turned away.
I’m not angry, but there are some things that I shouldn’t have to go through. I know Jaymin is crazy but to hurt me is another thing. I get that he likes blood and causing people pain but hurting me is something different.
I didn’t expect him to hurt me.
I’m not mad, just a little disappointed.
I don’t care what Jaymin does. I should be taking him down to the station so they can finally arrest him and charge him as a serial killer. There’s just some part of me that doesn’t feel like doing anything. I should stop him because I know later tonight he’ll go out to find his next victim, might not kill them, but might see what they do, who they are, if they’re worth it.
I give it a couple days before he’s ripping them to shreds.
The innocent smile on his face wasn’t so innocent. It was the same smile when he was cutting me, the same one as he left me. It was a loaded expression. One day I’ll get destroyed
Jaymin isn’t sweet.
“Morgan...” He cooed, knowing that I was staring at him.
There are a lot of things he wants from me. Sometimes I give in because I can’t help myself. Jaymin could do anything and it wouldn’t bother me as much as it should. I feel like I’m becoming just like him.
I told myself this wouldn’t be revenge. I told myself I wasn’t mad. But I felt the throbbing pain in my arms. I felt the way my leg stiffened. I was mad. I wanted revenge. This was the first time I was about to let that consume me.
I had to hold back.
I sat down on the floor quietly, crossing my legs and going in my jacket pocket to pull out a small metal bar. I’d have to really be in the mood to hurt Jaymin, and I don’t think I’ll ever feel like it. I wasn’t really into torture, and I know Jaymin hates it too. Maybe that’s why I took the time to sit down with him. Except, the bar between my fingers wasn’t planned for fun.
Knowing Jaymin though, he’s going to love this.
I’m not the type for torture or BDSM, but it doesn’t seem that way when I have Jaymin tied up and blindfolded in front of me. I shouldn’t care about what I do to him because he certainly doesn’t care what he does to me.
He’s into a lot of things, and I found out something new almost every day.
The metal bar was slightly curved; I don’t know if that would make it easier on him or not. I undid his pants, exposing the bulge that was pulsing against the fabric of his briefs. I wasn’t surprised to know that he was already hard, but what did surprise me was seeing the cum that was already pooling and staining the fabric.
I left him alone all day yet he still managed to get turned on.
I exposed his throbbing cock more. I pressed the metal bar down on his skin slowly, letting the small ball at the end enter his urethra carefully. By the way he tensed up, I figured this wasn’t something anyone has done to him before. And by the way he smiled, I could tell he was really going to like this.
“That’s cute, Morgan.” he laughed quietly. “Did you really go out of your way to find something new for me to do?” he asked and stuck his tongue out.
“I hope you don’t hate me after this.” I said.
“I would never.”
And as alarming as that should be, it wasn’t.
I lifted up the gag and fixed it in his mouth before putting the straps together behind his head. He kept his tongue out so I could see his piercing. Apparently he was anticipating the part where I used a vibrator on him. What he truly wants is for me to abuse him.
He knows I wouldn’t.
Unfortunately, he stays around anyway, wanting me to touch him as if everything else I do for him isn’t enough.
I didn’t feel bad for what I pictured doing to him.
The vibrator felt heavy in my hand. When I turned it on, the vibration pulsed strongly up my arm. I could point out where all of my wounds were in my arm just because of the vibration. I had to be careful not to hurt myself.
Jaymin didn’t even flinch when I touched him, but that’s what I expected. He’s gone through this so many times that he would be numb to it. It’s going to take a lot more than a little vibration to get him going. So I got to the point, pressing the vibrator to the tip of his cock, just barely touching the metal.
That made him shift his hips.
He laughed quietly but sounded a little nervous. His arms tensed against the rope, and he shifted again when I rubbed the vibrator on him. I could tell that he didn’t want to be bound by rope by the way he struggled to move. And even then, I didn’t stop messing with him.
I don’t think of myself as that mean of a person.
But for some reason, I find myself thinking that I might snap one day and just do something I’m not supposed to.
Is this the beginning of that?
I sat patiently, barely entertained because in the end, Jaymin will love this. It doesn’t matter what happens to him, as long as he can get off to it, it doesn’t matter.
He started moaning louder and breathing harder. He continued to fight against the rope, not being able to succeed in breaking it. I wasn’t sure how long he was going to last but I’m sure it will be long enough by his standards. And if he does cum quick, that wouldn’t change anything cause he would want to keep doing it for hours on end. I could see it. He may be blindfolded but I just knew he would be watching me, a scary glint in his eyes that would say I should be rough. And even though he was gagged, I knew he was smiling. There was that unexpected chill that went up my spine while watching this.
He was enjoying himself.
I hadn’t moved the vibrator for who knows how long.
Jaymin is never that quiet. He lets me know where he likes it. There isn’t a place where he doesn’t like it.
I didn’t want to say I was bored because it would make it seem like I was interested in more. But I’ve seen this before, I’ve done this before. Jaymin doesn’t have any limits so that’s why I don’t try so hard.
I pressed the vibrator on top of the small metal, watching Jaymin tense up again. His cock jerked but I kept the vibrator down so he could feel it. His moans were loud and breathy; he couldn’t close his mouth because of the gag. The leather pressed on his cheeks tighter and the metal pressed into his skin. His saliva dripped from the tip of his tongue to the head of the vibrator that was on his cock.
His body was straining, his back curving forward, making him lean into the sudden pleasure that overwhelmed him.
Sweat began to cover his skin. All that fighting back was getting to him. He couldn’t move because of the rope, he couldn’t do anything because he was tied up. He struggled but he was still loving it. If I take that gag off, I would be able to see that devilish smile of his, the same one that would make me so uncomfortable.
I was waiting for him to snap but I forgot that Jaymin was already crazy.
The torture play, that wasn’t going to do anything.
Eventually, I saw the tears that dampened the blindfold over his face. That was new. He doesn’t like being forced to orgasm, that’s his least favorite thing. So the tears definitely meant something.
“Want me to stop?” I asked.
He shook his head vigorously, truly enjoying every second of this. And I thought that he finally lost it but I was wrong. He was enjoying himself so much that it was making him cry. I had nothing to say about that.
It was more like I knew it would happen.
And if I were to leave him here without giving him anymore attention, he would like that too.
There’s no winning with him.
More tears began to cover his cheeks but he sounded like he was so happy. The ropes kept him from moving too much but he desperately wanted something more, even more than this. I couldn’t do anything for him. Well, I wouldn’t do anything for him. No matter what happens, what I do or don’t do, he’ll like it. I just kept the vibrator over the small bar, and waited till there was no more for him to take.
Whether he cums or not was up to me. He waited for me to say the words that would let him to release. At first I wanted to be spiteful but I couldn’t be, not with him.
I moved the vibrator lower on his skin and pulled the small bar up. His voice got louder just from being touched. Against my finger, I could feel the small oozes of cum. His legs were shaking as he did his best to hold on to the little bit of control he had left.
“Go ahead.” I told him.
He shook his head again. I guess he wants to make this last longer, but I’m not really up for that right now. I lifted the vibrator up to the tip of his cock rubbing slowly to get him to cum.
He really doesn’t like being forced to orgasm. I heard the surprise in his voice as I kept the head of the vibrator on his tip to make him cum. His entire body spasmed as I continued to make him suffer. His moans got quieter, more strained, and broken as he tried to breathe.
It wasn’t that much longer that he came on the vibrator. His body remained tense as his cum trailed down his skin and stained his underwear.
Now I’m not obligated to stay.
He sounded so relieved to get that out. When he started to laugh, that’s when I knew he could handle much more. I’m pretty sure I barely did anything to him. I would have to force him over and over again to make him crack.
I looked up to see his face, his cheeks bright red and stained with tears. He was shaking as he breathed hesitantly. If he gets too comfortable, I might make it worse for him.
“If I leave you here, would you hate me?” I asked, curious about what it would take to break him.
He shook his head to answer the question. I left him for five hours earlier, I’m sure he could handle a little more.
“What if I don’t touch you?” I asked.
He shook his head again without hesitation.
I don’t think there’s anything that would make him hate me. I could do absolutely nothing and it wouldn’t matter to him. Even watching him now with the way he looked, completely tied up and helpless, it didn’t seem like he would hate me.
“Nothing would ever change how you feel.” I knew it. Maybe deep down I was hoping that whatever tie we had would break so I wouldn’t feel terrible about what I do to him.
Jaymin knew that nothing would change how he felt.
If I were to take off the gag, he would smile widely at me. And of course he would stick his tongue out to expose his piercing like he always does.
I know him far too well.
I got up from the floor and went in my closet, going into the small box of things that Jaymin “leaves” here by mistake. There were quite a few vibrators left behind. I only had to pick one. For now. I walked back over to him when I had the small egg shaped vibrator in my hand. I sat down in front of him like before.
I pressed the vibrator down on his tongue with my thumb. Instantly, he knew where this was going to go and became willing. Once the vibrator was covered in his saliva, my hand slid in his pants so I could get it inside him.
He was slightly trembling, and it wasn’t until I touched him that I noticed how hesitant he was.
That didn’t stop me from turning the vibrator on.
I moved the remote to his thigh, under the rope that kept his legs from moving. I picked up the wand vibrator and did the same, keeping it pressed to the tip of his cock and held down by a piece of rope over his thigh.
He sounded worried. Did he expect me to be nicer to him? He never really expects me to be mean to him even if he asks for it. His moans remained quiet as he leaned his head to the side; he was crying again but I wasn’t sympathetic.
“I have somewhere to go, so I’ll be back.” I said.
He whined quietly when I told him I would be leaving. He didn’t want me to go anywhere. Sure the fun for him just started, but I wasn’t going to indulge the way he wanted me to. Leaving him here by himself will be enough satisfaction for me.
“Don’t make a mess while I’m gone.” I got up from the floor.
Let’s see how well he does with a little neglect.