TW: rose budding/prolapse, cum play, erotic asphyxiation, anal beads
Jaymin sat on the edge of my bed, on his knees with his hands grabbing the sheets lightly. He had his back towards me so I could see as I tugged on the thick string of the anal beads inside him. He was getting a little overzealous. There were six balls and he finally let me pull the fifth one out.
“Remember our deal?” I asked as I saw the last black ball peek through his opening hole again.
Knowing Jaymin, he will be disobedient and will want to make a mess. I had to make sure that we’re on the same page at the moment.
“I remember. The real question is if I’m going to listen.” he corrected me as he glanced over his shoulder to give me a devious look.
My finger pushed the last ball back inside him further. I didn’t think that was enough, so I pressed the next one to his twitching hole, making him open up so I could push it inside slowly. His hole widened up as I kept the ball half way in. Jaymin told me he’s been aching to take them out to show me how much I came inside him earlier, though I’m not too eager to see. So I was okay with making him hold the beads inside him for a while longer.
“It’s up to you,” I said, my finger just about to push the ball in. “I can make you go all day without taking them out.”
“That’s so mean.” He whined quietly.
I know it was. Apparently, he only responds to me being harsh with him so that’s what I’m going to do. I shouldn’t just stop at three. My finger pressed the bead in more before taking the next one to push it inside him. It seemed very easy but I got the feeling that he was going to be full after the next one. There’s only so much he could hold and the beads were big.
He tensed up when I pulled on the string. Though I wasn’t done yet, seeing him getting excited to get rid of them was what made this better. My other hand gripped his waist tightly to keep him from moving. He tried to fidget against me, but I kept him down long enough to get the next bead inside him.
I could still see it poking through as he tried to push it out against my finger. All he needed was one more. Then we’ll try this again to see if he’s going to listen to me this time. If he doesn’t want to, that’s fine. I’ll just keep putting them in him until he does.
With the last bead, his hole stayed open and I couldn’t get it in all the way. He stayed tense and didn’t move while he did his best to hold all six of the beads. My finger pressed in slowly, more determined to see if I could get them all in. His voice strained as they moved further in until his hole could close around my finger.
“It hurts.” he said quietly, his entire body beginning to tremble.
This was the first time he complained about them. I wondered if it really did hurt. I was curious. My other hand snaked around his waist to press down on his stomach, feeling that small bulge because of the beads.
“Are you going to listen this time?” I asked, intending to pull out the beads if he gives the right answer.
“Gonna get mad if I don’t?” he asked.
Well I should’ve known better to ask. My hand pressed harder over his stomach to get him to rethink that. He was surprised that I would even think of hurting him though I really wouldn’t. Though he did say that I could always punish him whenever I felt like it.
If only he listened to me for once.
I let go of him to pull lightly on the string so the first bead would fall out of him. He took a breath and moved his hands to spread himself wider as the second bead showed itself; his hole opened up again to let it out of him. It became easier, one after another fell out till there were five beads out and one left.
“Don’t make a mess.” I warned him, still holding the last ball inside him. There were a few things that could happen when I let go and I had to make sure he doesn’t get too wild.
“Morgan, I can’t just not-”
“You’re going to clean it up then?” I asked since he clearly couldn’t hide his excitement.
“With my mouth?-”
“No-I never said to-Just, never mind.” I wasn’t going to win with him so it doesn’t matter. He laughed quietly at my attempt to get him together but that wasn’t going to happen at the moment.
All the anal beads fell to the floor once the last one popped out of him. He hands pressed down on his thighs as he took another breath.
His hole was red and twitching from the stretching with the anal beads. Still, he was able to control it.
When I saw him open up, my hand hit firmly on his ass, making him tense up from the shock of being spanked.
“Ask.” I told him, since he can’t always get a free pass to do what he wants. If he wants to show off, he has to ask for it.
“Can I...?” there were so many ways he wanted to finish that question, and I know which ever way he chooses would be just as vulgar as the options.
So I didn’t need to hear anymore than that.
His hole opened up again, this time wider to let the mixture of cum and lube spill on to the floor. I hadn’t realized how much there was until I watched it drip out of his opening hole.
He didn’t stop there either.
I saw the bright red that budded out. I wasn’t really surprised that he could do that, then again, I had to admit that it was a little impressive to see that he could. His hands moved back again to spread himself wider as the bright red bud pushed out more.
“Bet you wanna fist this, don’t you, Morgan?” he asked.
“You never watch anything you say.” I said plainly as I put my hand at his waist, my other moving my pants down so I could pull my cock out.
“You know how to get me to be quiet.” he laughed darkly, hinting a few ways I really could shut him up.
I didn’t say anything as I pressed my cock to the bright flesh he had protruding out of his gaping hole. I rubbed slowly on the wet knot before pushing in to feel the ring pull me in further. My hands moved on him, one around his throat and the other over his cock to feel his piercing. He tensed up as I moved my hips into him, my cock reaching inside him more to feel the warmth cover me entirely. As I pulled back it just felt like I was being sucked in again.
I didn’t want to keep the pace slow. It’s not like Jaymin would care if I was a little more brutal than I usually am.
When my fingers pressed into his neck, his body stayed tense all over. I heard the slight gasp come from his lips; his hand came up over mine, his fingers hoping to loosen the grip I had over his neck. I thrusted into him harder but he couldn’t cry out with the way I held his neck; his voice caught in his throat and he struggled to breathe, only able to get in a few broken inhales as his chest caved from the feeling of me moving inside him. I just wanted to hear his broken and ragged breathing, I didn’t care about anything else.
My hand loosened over his neck when his fingers dug into my wrist. I stayed deep inside him and didn’t move; he was trembling and shaking but that’s what I wanted to feel. My face nuzzled in his black hair and I was completely over come by his scent. It’s not like I get close a lot but today I felt like it.
I think I make him a bit nervous when I get too close. He was quiet, not trying to impress me with the things he could do, probably thinking to himself about what I was doing. When he’s quiet, when I can’t hear his voice, I know he’s thinking too hard.
I’ve never been extremely intimate with him. It was never what he liked. He always hated that I would be too close or too kind, that I wouldn’t be rough enough with him. I just wanted a day where I don’t question his abilities. It’s clear that he can do some wild things, I don’t want to keep asking myself if he has the mind and talent to take things further.
I just want it to be quiet.
I just want it to be normal.
But I realized that’s not something that will be easy to get. He doesn’t like normal or simple or vanilla. I know this.
Yet I still had my arms around him, my hands on him, hoping I could get one gentle touch in before he makes me brutally fuck him. I didn’t want to take it slow, but I didn’t want to hurt him either. I won’t ever be able to find a middle ground.
I didn’t expect him to touch me. I didn’t expect to feel his hand on my face or in my hair. But he did touch me, his hand was on my face and moved into my hair. His fingers gripped hard enough to keep me close so I wouldn’t pull away.
“Are you going to cum inside me?” He asked. He just never fails to open his mouth. “That’ll be a waste if it gets on the floor.”
“You already made a mess once.” I don’t think we need to make it worse.
“Let me swallow all of it.”
I closed my eyes. I don’t know how he can so easily let things like that come out of his mouth. It’s astounding. I can either find patience to deal with it or I can go along with it. Things are already weird enough, what’s the harm of doing something worse?
“Please, Morgan?” He asked politely since I only respond to his begging. Seems like he’s starting to get it.
“Open up if you want it.”
My fingers moved in his mouth, his piercing pressing on my skin as I rubbed his tongue. I could hear his moans when I kept his mouth open with my fingers. His breathing came out heavy over my skin. I kept my other arm around him so he wouldn’t move away when I started to thrust into him faster. My fingers pressed on his cock, feeling it twitch at my finger tips, aching for me to be rougher so he could cum. I rubbed over his piercing with my thumb as his cum began to spill down his skin.
As I touched him, he moaned louder, getting excited that I was more hands on with him today. It seemed like I would never let go long enough for me to step away.
It was enough to feel his body against mine. He was never much for the whole intimate kind of touching like I was. I’ve always felt deprived with how he wanted me to keep to myself. Me getting too close wasn’t his thing. He likes it rough in a way that makes it seem like I only want to use him and that’s it. That’s the only thing that turns him on. So now, it wasn’t enough to hold him close or to feel his skin burning at my fingertips. That’s too easy.
That’s not what he wants.
No matter how flustered he gets, no matter how much his body gives in, it’s not what Jaymin wants. When he begs, he wants me to be rough with him, to hit him, to choke him.
This wasn’t what he was interested in.
I moved my face from his hair and let go of him so I could push him down on the bed. His hips lifted against me eagerly when he realized I was going to give him what he wants. My hands gripped his waist so I could keep him down and fuck him hard. My cock was easily being sucked in to reach deep until I could go any deeper. I could feel him throbbing around me, tightening and keeping me in.
When my hands let go, he started to move on his own, his hips rubbing back against me to feel my cock move inside him. I watched as he grinded against me, his ass shaking as my cock was engulfed by the heat of his hole. It felt good. Amazing actually. I had to put my hands back on him so I could keep the feeling going.
When I couldn’t hold out anymore, I came inside him. He’s going to say that its a waste but I couldn’t help it with the way he was tightening around me. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I came. When I was done, my hands pressed down on his back as I slowly pulled out of him.
“Such a waste.” He said under his breath as he straightened up again, his hands on his thighs. “And it’s a lot, too.”
My fingers slipped inside him when I thought he was going to spill the cum on the floor again. He perked up as I fingered him, though I mostly meant to plug him up.
“All you’re good for is making a mess.” I said.
“You’re so mean to me, Morgan.” He pouted as he looked over his shoulder. “I said I would clean it up, wouldn’t I?”
He was clenching around my fingers, letting me feel the warmth and wetness of his insides before he exposed them for me. I know he would show me again. He doesn’t just do things once for the fun of it.
“I just think you’ll make a bigger mess.” I added another finger inside him and he jerked forward, not expecting it.
“I promise I’ll be good.” He assured me.
I don’t ever believe him but I did pull my fingers out of him. If he asks, then I’ll let him. I waited for the words to come out of his mouth but they didn’t. Instead, his hole opened up, the bright red peaking through enough for me to see.
My hand hit his skin sharply and his hole pulled in again, taking in the air that it just about let out. ”Ask." I said firmly. He has to ask for it.
“Can I show it to you?” He asked.
Again, his hole spread open, a mix of cum and lube spilling out of him and onto the floor. As he widened, more cum fell out of him until there was nothing left. The bright red knot opened up even more, bigger than the first time he showed me. It shined and throbbed as he moved his hands to keep himself spread open.
It took a lot of effort for him to keep the bud out. It was sucked in before he tried again, his hole quickly opening to turn inside out. As he showed me again, he came on the bed, his cock dripping with cum on the white sheets.
I leaned closer to him, my hand wrapping around my cock and pressing it to the wet flesh he kept extended. His breath came out shaky as I rubbed over him.
“Let’s do it again.” He begged quietly, though he really didn’t have to ask for that.
His hand moved back to touch my cock, placing my tip at his hole when the knot went away. I let him pull me closer so I could move inside him again. I remembered the feeling and my body was excited to do this one more time. The warmth got me to perk up again and I was ready to cum inside him, this time hoping to make him hold it in with the beads just like before.
My fingers moved in his mouth, the same fingers that got a feel for his insides. I’m sure he could taste the bitterness of my cum on my fingers as he moved his tongue. He moaned against my skin when I moved; he didn’t let me pull my fingers out so I didn’t.
By the color of his cheeks, and by the sound of his strained voice, I could tell that he was getting more into it. It was just making me painfully hard and insatiable. My face pressed in his hair again as I moved inside him, holding him close to me.
For however long we decide to do this, we’ll have to stop somewhere. I probably won’t be able to count how many times he makes me cum on one hand. Then again, that’s just how things go. For the first time, though, he let me keep my hands on him. It wasn’t in a rough way like he usually enjoys.
He didn’t beg me to hurt him.
He didn’t ask me to be brutal with him.
He let me keep him close to me, and that’s definitely something. Whether he was doing this for me, or just for the fun of it is for him to know. I won’t try to find out.
I dried my hair with a towel as I walked out of my room. It didn’t feel like eight at night though it was. It was still a little light outside but not a lot. I took a long shower just because I had an eventful couple of hours. I did skip work to do some new things that I’ve never thought about doing. For some reason, I expected Jaymin to be gone but he wasn’t. So then I expected to smell the food he had taken back as left overs earlier this morning but I didn’t smell that either.
He was occupied.
The TV was on and he was watching the news, his eyes focused on the screen as his hand gripped the remote. There were a number of things that could grab his focus but this one was probably the biggest thing.
Our District Attorney was answering questions for the press. The people want to know what’s going on considering that Jaymin is about to become a serious national threat. Harrison can only give so much information out at once, chances are he won’t say that much. The public can’t handle it.
I moved the towel around my neck as I got interested by what Harrison might say to the random questions that were being thrown at him.
The lights were blaring over him so all the cameras could get a good shot. There were microphones everywhere around him as he stood on the steps to the court building. He didn’t look too happy to be bombarded with questions. He let them roll in one after another until he decided which questions he wanted to answer.
One person asked why the murderer’s identity hasn’t been released publicly by the media. Why couldn’t they have a name to broadcast? Why couldn’t they know something?
Well the police department decided to quickly retract any statements made about Jaymin’s identity considering that all traces of everything in his name has disappeared. He currently goes by Riley Parker but only people that know him by that knows that. And then there’s me. No one else knows his current identity. We have files on his old ones but it’s not like that helps anyone.
What are they going to do with dead profiles?
Harrison really doesn’t know that much to make a statement.
“...have to direct your questions to the police department and the FBI because I only deal with the legal battles-”
“Why hasn’t there been an identity associated with the murderer?” Someone asked again, and Harrison rolled his eyes, this time deciding to answer.
“Considering that he does have multiple and tends to change his look, we have halted giving out any information just in case it leads to multiple false arrests.” he answered.
“Is that the reasoning behind the FBI’s recent false arrests mistakes?-”
“Again, I’m going to have to direct those questions to the FBI because they’re better able to give you that information-”
“How are you representing Dr. Thomas Bullock in this case?” Another person asked loudly.
“I do not represent him.” Harrison answered. “Dr. Bullock has made himself very clear that he will have the best legal team he finds fit enough to protect him against what may happen, and I’m assuming you’re asking in relation to his granddaughter.”
“How does her recent publicity affect her in court?-”
“Well if it turns up as evidence, I know all of you are to blame.” he had no sympathy for the press. “You bother her at her home, get her angry, and a private matter becomes public, so when she sues be prepared to lose your jobs.” He said plainly as he turned away to walk up the steps.
The rest haven’t had enough yet. They just wanted answers and they thought they deserved to get all of it. Harrison really didn’t want to answer anymore of their questions but they surrounded him rather quickly to get a few more responses.
“We know that Dr. Bullock has also made a public statement as well in regards to his granddaughter-”
“No, that was in regards to his family’s murderer.” Harrison came out with the truth before they could manipulate the story. “Dr. Bullock has said that this serial killer is a weak coward who most likely won’t take responsibility for what they’ve done. If the murderer really wanted to make a statement, they would come forward.” Harrison said.
“Are you purposely saying this to draw this killer out of hiding?” A reporter asked.
“I’m just stating facts.” Harrison said plainly. “Dr. Bullock has made the same statement but that’s in regards to his family. Whether or not that was a right thing to do, considering his situation, is not a question for me.” he looked into the cameras as the microphones came closer. “In regards to his granddaughter, he was hoping she would be more open in his time of need, after all he did lose his family.”
“Does the police department plan to share any information on the killer?”
“Ask the police department.” Harrison said and looked over to someone else that was about to ask their question.
“Will Dr. Bullock remain safe while-”
Someone cut them off to ask their question instead, extending their microphone to get the sound of Harrison’s voice. “Dr. Bullock doesn’t seem to want to leave despite everything that’s happened to him-”
“Why won’t he save himself-”
Harrison extended his arms out to stop all the questions being thrown at him. “Dr. Bullock has said in his statement that he will look his family’s murderer in the eyes before he does anything. Again, I don’t know if saying that will have an effect on how this goes for him but he has made his statement.”
“What has this man done?-”
“Why target the Bullock family and their school?-”
“There has been nothing but good things to say about the family-”
“What has happened for them to suffer like this?-”
Harrison rose his voice when the questions resumed. “Again, all those questions need to be directed to the police because I know nothing about that.” Harrison turned away again, walking up the steps without being followed this time.
I hadn’t seen the public statement Dr. Bullock made but it’s probably best that I don’t watch it around Jaymin. Right now, he doesn’t seem like he’s in the best mood at the moment.
I could feel the burning hatred emanating from him. It was his desire to kill that seeped through every bone in his body and made his sudden presence in the room darken. There was a chill that went up my spine just from being too close.
Whatever he was thinking right now, it wasn’t good.
This was just fuel to get him out. He’s going after the last two people on his list. Once that’s done, he won’t have anything to be mad about. But right now, it felt like all the world’s anger was resting on his shoulders, and he was going to take it out on the two last Bullock family members nearby.
I hadn’t realized how important it was for me to be at work until I saw the news yesterday. Considering how the news is getting rowdy and want answers, I can expect it to be a little crowded. I planned to just end this once and for all. I had an awaking moment, a life changing epiphany, and I realized that I should not give a damn about whatever the hell happens.
Anyone that had a day off was called in. Harley wasn’t too happy to show up even though she didn’t need to. Since I knew she was coming in, I brought her breakfast to put her in a better mood.
She’s going to need it for the day we might have.
I wrote two names on the white board in the conference room after I took down all the maps and pictures of previous victims. Right now, it’s about the last two people Jaymin has on his list. With the media getting statements from them both, it puts them at risk. Dr. Bullock definitely pissed Jaymin off so these last two murders will be horrific if we can’t stop them.
“Vanessa Wells and Dr. Thomas Bullock are the last two victims we can expect over the next few days if we do nothing.” I said to the group that was sitting in the room. “With the media being assholes and exposing them, we can expect a very angry serial killer.”
“Vanessa Wells really does have a death wish with the things she’s said over the last few days.” Keith said.
“We know she has a grudge against her grandfather-”
“And the rest of her family.” I added.
“She didn’t even bat an eye lash when her sister died all those months ago.” Harley said.
“But why only two more victims? Is Jaymin really that one dimensional? He can just go on a killing spree and spread bodies everywhere.” Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest.
Jaymin really had one goal. There was no time for the extra stuff. The only reason he brought other people into this was because he was bored or wanted to show us he wasn’t messing around. When he was angry, he went after the family members. He just wants the Bullock family to be six feet under.
I circled the surname on the board.
“If we want to be more general, we can say this is a massive hit to the performing arts school.” I said. A good number of students dropped out or transferred despite being one of the best schools. Why would that matter if people are losing their lives?
“But Vanessa Wells is married.” Charlie said. “Her last name is Wells, she’s not even a Bullock anymore.” he shrugged.
I stared at him. I wanted to know if he was being completely serious right now. I expect Charlie to have it together, we’ve been working together for too long to make a dumb comment like that.
“Right, I’m sorry. I should’ve never mentioned that she’s married. I thought you would’ve gotten it but that’s my bad.” I said, though I did have a sardonic tone to my voice. We were going to move on before Charlie catches on that I was making fun of him. “Vanessa Wells will be targeted first.”
“The point of killing the family first is so Dr. Bullock sees how everything he has crumbles to oblivion.” I said plainly.
Theatrical as it is, Jaymin was not going to kill Dr. Bullock first for any reason. Linda was definitely first because he was blinded by complete rage after seeing her. But Dr. Bullock was definitely going to be last.
“Let’s put a chunk of our forces on her.” Keith said, looking at the Chief that stood by the door.
“No.” I said, though he really wasn’t talking to me. “We don’t want a majority of our forces on either of them. Jaymin will quickly shift targets if we favor one over the other.” I warned him. Keith had a hard time believing that it was that simple. “Jaymin is not an idiot. He will see that it won’t be easy to get to Vanessa, get Dr. Bullock first, and while we’re scrambling around he’ll get her next.”
“So lets get them both together-”
“You think she won’t kill her own grandfather?” I laughed cynically. I had no faith that woman would act on good terms. She has a terrible biting grudge on her family. It got so bad that her parents are nowhere to be seen. Lucky for them, they won’t be killed. But as for Dr. Bullock, if we put him in a room with Vanessa, it’s all over.
“We have to do something, Morgan.” Harley looked up at me.
I had to think about this. Jaymin’s behavior has not changed because he doesn’t get scared by law enforcement that easily. Most of his friends that cover for him have been arrested, but he said he could get by on his own for a few days. Now he’s running on anger as fuel. He’s determined to get the job done no matter how many mistakes he makes.
I can’t suggest that we do nothing. Although the two will die, the FBI will definitely have Jaymin. There won’t be anything left for him to do. His rage was only fueled by revenge. Once that’s done, he’ll have nothing left.
But I wasn’t under the assumption that he was going to turn himself in or that it would be easy to catch him.
So what do we do?
“The two things we can’t do is put them together or watch one over the other.” I said.
“We’re being too technical saying we can’t have them together. You think we can’t have forces watching their every move?” Keith got defensive.
“Here’s what’s going to happen when we suggest that we have to watch them together.” I started. “Vanessa will probably say some things, curse her grandfather to hell, and say she’s not moving anywhere because of her family.” I explained. I believe she would rather stay home with her family instead of being with her grandfather, the man she’s tried to get away from for years. She had to put her dreams on pause because of him, so of course she’s going to be bitter. “Dr. Bullock might be willing to keep his last year of life or however long he has left, but he will without a doubt do his absolute best to make Vanessa feel terrible about the things that’s happened and she will snap. So no, we’re not watching them together.”
I did my best to explain that because it should’ve been more clear to them but it wasn’t. For some reason, everyone is so behind on what’s going on. I’m gone for an extra day and this is what happens. I was beginning to get frustrated. I wasn’t sure if it was just lack of patience or how no one seemed to understand what we were doing for months now, but something was getting me angry.
“Well, Caverly, do you have a better idea?” Keith asked.
I put the cap on the marker.
My job is to tell them what not to do. My job is to warn them. My job is to tell them what may blow up in their faces and what won’t. What my job is not is being a lead on the case I don’t want. I don’t give orders. If I have a plan, I say it to Harley and she’s the one that puts it together. I’m not in charge of anything that has to do with sending forces out their to do what Keith thinks we should do.
“It doesn’t matter if I have a better idea, does it?” I narrowed my eyes anyway. “You’re still going to have a majority of officers watching Vanessa so Dr. Bullock takes the hit first.” I put the marker down.
“Are you insinuating-”
“That you’ve kept the murderer’s identity quiet -mostly because he has multiple identities- because you’re more interested in having someone you can put the charges on?” I asked. I know what I’m accusing him of, and I was going to stick by it. “You don’t believe we’ll catch Jaymin, well not any time soon, so instead, you’re going to use Vanessa.” I said.
It was a smart plan that the media could get behind but we have no evidence on her besides the videos of her saying her grandfather can bite it. Because Jaymin keeps changing his look and identity, it does get a little difficult to find him, so we all can agree on that. The public wouldn’t be that much help. So it would be easier to keep the identity unknown.
But then it really hit me.
“Are you really going to use Vanessa Wells as bait?” I asked abruptly. Clearly that’s a terrible idea and I had to learn that the hard way. “I tried that, and let me tell you that did not work out the way I wanted it to.” I wasn’t shocked that Keith wanted to go for the bait tactic. We all have to learn that it’s not always the best way to get what we want.
“You seem to know a lot, Morgan-”
“Well, considering how little you know-”
The Chief had to put a stop to our bickering since it was seconds away from turning into a fight. “Both of you, my office, right now.” he said over us as he left the room.
My fingers curled to fists, my nails digging into my palms where my stitches were. I have to keep getting my wounds restitched because I don’t give them a chance to heal. It didn’t hurt this time since I wasn’t digging into my skin too hard but I was getting there. I had an issue and I wanted to solve it but my anger was really becoming a problem for me. I wanted to do things that I never thought of doing no matter what the situation was. Keith has been getting on my nerves and right now was all I could take.
I’m about to snap.
The Chief just wanted us in his office since we really had some business to take care of. I wanted to fight Keith, to the point that it got more violent in my head; I wasn’t used to being angry this long and it hurt.
I was just...
I couldn’t focus.
Everything was about to slip out.
“What is going on with you, Morgan?” The Chief asked as he stood behind his desk. The only reason he planned to chew me out was because the FBI owns him right now. “You’re missing work, withholding information, you’ve never had a temper before, and now your attitude has completely changed.” he listed all the problems with me.
And he wasn’t wrong. I show up when I want to, I don’t tell the truth, I’ve been getting mad easily, and my more cynical out look is due to the fact that I’ve seen things and know things that I shouldn’t.
He hit the mark on that one.
“How long have you two been investigating me?” I asked, bringing it up because I wanted them to know that I know.
They weren’t going to answer that question but they did look a little surprised.
So maybe I should choose a different question.
“I’m not going to dismiss your suspicions about me because there’s only one reason why you’re not getting the evidence that you’re searching for.” I crossed my arms. “The leak in the FBI isn’t me, it’s that friend of yours you have watching me, although he really isn’t on your side.”
He was here today. I remember seeing him. He was a scruffy red head that would go unnoticed if he needed to. He doesn’t stand out which makes him perfect to be a private investigator. If I hadn’t had my suspicions that I was being watched, I wouldn’t have noticed.
It’s thanks to him nothing’s been brought up, so I should really be grateful.
“You have no videos, no voice recordings, no traces of me going anywhere suspicious, though I don’t really go anywhere suspicious.” I continued, trying to think back if I went somewhere that really wasn’t my scene. “If you’re going to have me investigated, it’s better to be with someone who isn’t on the other side and knows what they’re doing.” I mentioned casually.
“Morgan, what happened to you?”
Well, first I got my leg broken. I mean, really broken. It was hard to walk around today because I thought about that. I have healing scars on my arms, the stitches itch and I’m constantly having to use my insurance to cover my restitching which is annoying. Oh, and a murderer is constantly hanging around me. Sure I could just tie him up and try to bring him in, but again, I’m being watched. I wouldn’t get far. I’ve seen things, done things, want to do things, all that stuff they wouldn’t understand if I told them.
I think I blanked out as I gave my inner monologue.
“Look,” I just wanted to get back to work. “The bait idea is not a good idea. I tried that with Davis Bitmore and it didn’t work-”
The Chief looked surprised. “That was you?”
“How else would a convicted rapist get out of jail?” For some reason, no one is following the logic anymore. I don’t know what to do. “Pinning everything on Vanessa is not going to work in your favor. Jaymin will go on a rampage until you release her and he can kill her.”
“How would you know?” Keith asked.
“He...told me?” I narrowed my eyes. “I mean, he really just wants the Bullock family to bite it, so if you take away one person he’s going to show you why you shouldn’t.”
If they left Vanessa alone and went for Dr. Bullock instead, Jaymin would really lose it. That’s where the root of his problems are right now. Thank God Keith isn’t suggesting protecting Dr. Bullock first because that would be an even worse idea. Jaymin does not like being played with and he will kill as many people as it takes until Dr. Bullock comes out to meet his fate.
“Also, don’t put them together.” I reminded them not to do it. “I don’t have much faith in Vanessa. She’ll throw a chair at the man and that’s enough to kill him.”
It was like talking to a wall. They weren’t going to listen to a damn word I said and I know why.
“How do we know we can trust you, Morgan?” the Chief asked. “Lately, it’s getting harder to put my faith in you considering how you tend to easily incriminate yourself.” he said.
I don’t know how I felt about hearing that but it didn’t sit right with me. I’ve done so much for this job, I have given up a lot for this job, I was obsessed with this job for a while. In all honesty, it wasn’t till now that I didn’t understand why.
So why should they trust anything I say? As if my help on everything else wasn’t enough to prove that I know what I’m doing.
It’s more of if I really want them to catch Jaymin.
I have to ask myself that question a lot.
So I didn’t have an answer for the Chief’s question. He doesn’t have to trust me. I won’t fight him to make him. I won’t make a list of things or reasons why I deserve to be backed up on my decision. I’m done putting myself out there like that. All it’s gotten me in the past year are injuries and a temper.
“If you surround Vanessa with everything you have, Dr. Bullock will get killed first.”
And by then, it will be over.
I warned them. It’s their choice to listen to me or not. I did my part.
I left the room without saying anything else. I had other things to take care of for the day, giving in to my anger was not one of them. I am too old to start preaching about how life is terrible or how I deserve better. I’m tired of it.
Harley came up beside me when I went to the break room. I thought about going home but I wasn’t bitter enough to be that petty.
“Did you punch Keith?” Harley asked. She knows I wouldn’t. “Rebecca has the hots for him, the whole bald thing is sexy to her.” she made a face as she sat down at the table.
She was waiting for me to take a seat. I know what this was about to be. Harley has this habit of talking to me, telling me to calm down or to take things slow. I know what she’s going to tell me today.
I took a seat at the table right next to her.
“So, I feel like lately you’ve had some self destructive tendencies.” she started out slowly, hoping that I wouldn’t lose my interest with the subject. “I’m more concerned that you’re going to have a mental breakdown.”
“I’m fine, Harley, I promise.” I assured her.
“You were an asshole to Charlie.” she said.
“That was his own fault. I know he’s a little slow sometimes but come on, really.” I defended myself quickly so she wouldn’t be mad about that one.
“Alright, I’ll give you that. But your anger with Keith, I know you don’t like the guy but you had that look in your eyes like you’d kill him.” she sounded worried.
I didn’t think I looked that wild.
“All I’m saying is that...” she paused for a second. “I’m really worried, Morgan. And with everything that’s happening, I don’t want you to go psycho or something.” she said.
I mashed my lips together as I let that sink in. If I’m worrying Harley then that definitely means something was wrong. I should maybe go home early if that’s the case. I need to cool off and that’s not going to happen if I’m continuously put in situations where I’m being tested.
“Okay.” I understood.
I don’t mean to worry her. After everything she’s done for me, that’s the last thing she needs.
“Was I really an asshole to Charlie?” I asked.
“He got sad about it, Morgan. You’re never that sarcastic with anyone.” She laughed to herself, covering her mouth.
“I’ll apologize. I know I’ve been losing my patience lately and I shouldn’t take it out on him.” I guess I do feel a little bad about how I spoke. Then again, he really shouldn’t say stupid things.
“So did the Chief set you and Keith straight or...?”
“I actually told them I know they’re investigating me.” I told her the truth. Her eyes widened because she didn’t know. “Yeah, you know Nate. He’s been watching me.”
“But Nate is such a nice man-”
I stared at her before I spoke. “That doesn’t mean...he can’t be a private investigator-”
“You’re doing it again.” She called me out on my sarcasm. “What I meant was that he doesn’t give off the whole PI vibe.”
“That’s what I thought but I caught him following me and I put it together.”
“Did the Chief get something on you?” She whispered, though we were the only ones in here. I didn’t know if I wanted to tell her that Nate isn’t on our side.
“He’s not exactly working for the FBI.” I said slowly as I looked away.
“What does that...-You can’t be serious.” She edged forward. “How do you know?”
That’s a question I really can’t answer. If he wasn’t watching out for Jaymin there would’ve been piles of evidence to say that I was working with him. Absolutely nothing has turned up so right now I’m in the clear.
“Okay, so I have a big question then.” She started, getting me prepared for the one question I know she’s going to ask.
I don’t usually lie to Harley. When I do, it’s to protect her, but right now, I think I might need her protection.
“Do you meet up with him?” She asked.
“Okay...” She processed the one word answered. “So that’s how you know a lot of things, right? He tells you what he’s going to do.” She made the connection. Sometimes, I figure it out, other times he does tell me. “But I heard you were surprised a few days ago with the four murders in one night. You didn’t know?”
I shook my head. “I was just as stunned as anyone else was.”
I was expecting the twins but the two other random bodies were a mistake. They saw something they shouldn’t, and lost their lives because of it.
“So with Vanessa Wells, you’re sure that watching her will make things worse?” She asked.
“Nate isn’t the only leak we have. And I’m sure Dr. Bullock will become a big target if we protect only her.”
“Keith doesn’t seem to care.” Harley wanted to help but Keith would never go for it.
“I have this feeling that it doesn’t matter what we do, it’s still going to happen.” I sighed and sat back in my chair, crossing my arms. I didn’t want to put in more effort to fight the inevitable.
“It sounds cruel, but what if we do nothing?” Harley asked. That’s what I was thinking before. “You said Jaymin has one goal, after that he won’t try so hard.”
It sounded too easy out loud.
“I’m sure he’ll just change himself again and this time leave...” I said to myself, staring off into the distance as I thought of the best way to bring him forward. “Stay here.” I got up abruptly and left the break room.
Nate was still here but he was just about to leave. For the most part, he stays quiet and unnoticeable. A lot of people just forget that he’s around. That’s what makes him so good as a PI. I caught up to him before he could leave.
“Can we talk for a moment? I have something I want to ask about.” I said as I gestured for him to follow me.
He didn’t know what to say, taking a second to find words, but he just nodded and came along with me to the break room. I had a feeling he wouldn’t just try to leave. I wonder if he knows I know that he’s following me around or that he’s friends with Jaymin.
I closed the door when we walked inside. Harley stayed sitting at the table, a little confused on why I brought Nate here.
“So, I know you’ve been following me.” I leaned on the counter by the sink and crossed my arms. Nate was just about to defend himself but it doesn’t matter. “I don’t care. You do what you have to.” I told him since he didn’t have to lie to me.
He didn’t like that Harley was sitting here but she needed to be.
“I just wanted to ask a favor.” I said, trying to come across as polite as I could be. “You probably know where Jaymin runs off to all the time or how to get in contact with him since you are watching out for him, right?” The point of this wasn’t to accuse him. “I need you to keep tabs for me.”
“I’m not going to-”
“Yes, you are.” I didn’t want to threaten him but I had to. “You’re not the only one that talks to him, and he won’t be happy to hear that a person that’s so close to the police force that’s trying to catch him has been colluding with the Chief all along.”
Would Jaymin believe a lie like that? No, he wouldn’t. He’s almost certain that the fear he instills into people and the favors he’s done are much worse than what any punishment the law could bring. But it’s not about what Jaymin believes. Nate was sure that I would talk and that it wouldn’t look good for him. That’s how I know that he really doesn’t know Jaymin as well as he should.
“What do you want?” He asked, almost like he was defeated because he didn’t know what to do.
“Whether or not Keith gives an order to protect Vanessa with everything we have, you’re going to tell Jaymin that she’s already being watched so he’ll go after Dr. Bullock instead.” I said.
“Is that it?”
“Oh, no. That’s not the favor.” I wasn’t done. “He’s going to kill Dr. Bullock no matter what, so I want you to be there when he does and tell me where he is.”
I never catch Jaymin in the act. He would disappear for a day or two and a dead body would show up in the streets.
“I don’t usually...I don’t follow him around. If he needs me, he calls me, but other than that I don’t go searching for him.” Nate said.
“Well, you’ll have to start searching since I think we have between twenty-four to forty-eight hours before Dr. Bullock goes missing.”
Nate has the incentive. He doesn’t want to get in trouble for looking like a traitor. There’s only one punishment and that’s death. I know he’s going to listen to me. I know he’s going to tell me where Jaymin is when he kills Dr. Bullock. I know I won’t catch him in time, but chances are he’ll still be around. Nate didn’t want to do anything he wasn’t supposed to. By the look in his eyes, he knew this wasn’t a good thing for him.
He’s doing a good thing by helping me. We might be able to save Vanessa’s life.
Before he could leave, I put my hand on his shoulder to stop him.
“And by the way, let’s keep this conversation to ourselves. We don’t want to have a problem.” I said quietly. He nodded slowly and looked ahead, opening the door so he could leave.
If he actually does listen to me, then we’ll be in the clear.
Harley stared at me completely wide eyed and shocked. I don’t know what it was that got to her but it was definitely something.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I sat down next to her. “You look a little struck.”
“Maybe because you seem to handle things like a mafia boss.” She said, still stunned.
“I have to act scary to be scary. No one will listen to me if I ask nicely.” I told her.
“Nate looked so sad though.”
“Cause he knows what he’s doing. It’s either he’s on my side or not, so... I don’t know what to tell you.”
“Think it will work?”
“It’ll give us some time.” I was sure of that. “We might get an extra day or so to come up with a safer way for Vanessa to flea.”
“I’m sure her family will be murdered as a substitute, Morgan.” She warned me.
I was about to tell her why that wasn’t the case, but in all honesty, if Jaymin doesn’t get what he wants, he will find a way to take it.
“We’ll protect them for the time being.” I said. “And I’ll try to get people watching Dr. Bullock, too. It’d be a shame for him to lose his life so brutally.” I said, thinking of ways to have this settled. Maybe I can get to Jaymin first.
I’d have to have a miracle for that to happen. I thought about different scenarios where I win, but I couldn’t come up with one just yet. I’d have to think this one through even harder, but at least I’m buying enough time to get by. Knowing Keith, he’ll prioritize Vanessa first, so that will cause complications.
There aren’t a lot of ways to approach the situation, and I know the inevitable will happen. Even if I try my hardest, it just seems like I’m going to have to deal with the outcome.