Just as I got to work, Harley took me by the arm and pulled me off to the side quickly. I don’t know what her problem was but she looked upset. It’s not my fault, is it?
“Morgan, you’ve been gone for nine days.” She hissed at me.
“I used my personal days for the first five.” I said since that should make it better.
I did take an extra four days to myself. Well, not to myself, but I wasn’t here. That’s all that matters. With the way Harley looked, it was like she hadn’t slept in days, while my only problem was the limp in my leg.
“That’s not going to make it look better.” She said, panicking. “Things around here haven’t been exactly organized. We’re going to fall apart.”
I don’t know why I don’t care but I don’t.
“And the Chief, he’s not in a good mood right now-”
“Harley, whatever happens happens, okay. We need to stop freaking out.” I walked by her.
I’m at that point where I don’t care. I come to work, I do what’s expected, I go home. That’s it. I’m not doing more because I tend to get hurt. Now I know how to avoid it.
“I’m still a bit worried.” Harley walked behind me, still expressing to me that she was freaking out though I told her not to. “What happens if-”
“Then it happens. Just don’t let it bother you.” I shrugged.
“Harley, you’ve seen what happens to me when I get worried or get my hopes up or when I just do my job.” I told her. “Why would you want to do that to yourself?”
“I’m just saying that you don’t need to panic. It makes things worse.” And I had to learn that the hard way.
She looked at me and still had that sad expression on her face. She’s only going to feel worse if she continues to do this to herself. She doesn’t have to worry about me either, if that’s what she’s going to lead into. I’ve been gone for nine days. That’s my fault and I’ll take whatever responsibility for it wholly.
The Chief walked by us. “Morgan, we need to talk.” He gestured for me to follow him.
He doesn’t call me by my first name unless it’s serious.
And then I saw Keith in his office. So it really must be something I should worry about. But the thing is that I won’t worry. Why should I have to? This has been a long time coming. I glanced at Harley before turning away to follow the Chief. She wanted to worry for me some more, but I just shrugged it off because in the end it will be no big deal.
I didn’t say anything as I stood quietly in the Chief’s office. I didn’t feel like sitting down. Keith stood right beside the Chief, just about ready to say whatever it is that was making him angry. Was it my absence? No, it’s more than that.
“We’ve had conflicting views for a while, Morgan.” Keith said slowly, though that’s not the main issue. “I don’t know if you’re playing us, or if you’re really trying to do what’s right.”
I’m not trying to do anything but they don’t seem to get it.
“You’ve kept information from us, you’ve been absent from work more than just once, you clearly lost interest in justice.” Keith listed.
“We’ve had this conversation before, Morgan, so it’s not surprising.” The Chief said.
“And we thought that maybe you might even be a threat to our investigation.” Keith added.
By the way they sounded, I knew where they were going with this. I know what about to happen to is entirely my fault, but I guess I didn’t want to avoid the outcome.
“So, I’m sorry but we’re going to have to let you go, effective immediately.”
It didn’t hurt to be fired. Though for just a second, I felt this hot flash, like there was this burning pit in my stomach, like I was angry. It only lasted a second before I realized there was no reason for me to be angry.
There was this dark place my thoughts were trying to go through, as if I was in denial.
But I’m not, or I shouldn’t be.
I did this myself.
I shut those dark thoughts out and told myself this is what happens when I play around with the government. This is what happens when I don’t tell the truth, the entire truth. I’ve kept secrets from them to protect myself. So if I have to get fired for me to be safe, then fine.
That’s the normal reasoning.
I’m not going to get mad.
There’s no need to.
I turned away to leave the office. My termination was immediate. I don’t have to stay, I don’t have to do anything. I can just pack up my stuff and go.
Harley came by quickly because she knew something happened but didn’t know what.
“What’d they do?”
“I got fired.” I said plainly. “In all honesty, they can just bite it. Though, I have to admit I did this to myself.” I said as I went looking for a box.
Harley followed closely. “They actually fired you? That’s not okay-”
“I’m not sad or anything.” I really wasn’t and I wanted to make that clear. Maybe it will hit me later but right now, I wasn’t in a bad mood. I should be angry but I’m not. “I’ve been saying that I was going to quit for a while anyway.” I shrugged.
“How are you okay with this?” She was confused that I wasn’t raging out. It’s not like me to anyway.
“After everything I’ve seen, it’s better that I don’t stick around.” I told her as I continued to search for a box I could use.
I took a box that had misplaced items and turned it over so everything would fall out. Now this box was empty. I took it back over my desk and Harley followed without saying anything else. When I put the box down on my desk, I looked at her and noticed she was looking down.
“You’re limping again. Did you hurt your leg?” She asked.
Well yeah, considering the pressure I’ve been putting on it for a couple days. It’s not like I did anything remarkably dangerous but I did put a strain in my leg.
“I’m fine.” I turned away.
“I’ll be fine.” I corrected to make sure she doesn’t worry. All she’s been doing lately is worrying. Worrying about me is not a good idea. I’m completely fine. “This is the incentive I need to finally move.” I said, just a little happy.
I found a few places that I like and I want to look at them. Now I have a reason to.
“I think you’ll be fine. Though, you better start asking for a promotion with all the crap you’ve been dealing with.” I thought she deserved it because of the year we’ve had.
“That’s not the issue I have at the moment.”
“I need more boxes.” I said when my box got quickly full of stuff. “I forgot I had a lot of things here.”
“You’re taking this rather lightly.”
“I mean, I’ve wanted to quit for so long now. And I’m finally free, so I have to say that’s a good thing.”
I stopped her because I know she was going to spew more worrying things. “I’m going home. I’m going to take a nap. Then I’m going to actually enjoy being unemployed.” I told her. “I’m fine.” I assured her.
She doesn’t believe me but that’s okay.
Today was my last day, I wish I had known that earlier so I could better prepare for it. I would’ve brought my own box or something.
I took everything home.
I walked through my apartment, bringing my box to my room. I noticed something was clearly off, like a dark presence that was not supposed to be here.
This is the fifth day in a row.
“Jaymin.” I walked by, though I didn’t see him around yet.
“Morgan.” I heard his voice by the couch. He was laying down on it.
He was gone last night and I was hoping that he would stay gone. I need time to recover. I’m four days clean from all the alcohol I drank, but he makes me want to open another bottle. I wanted to ignore him but I didn’t. I just brought my box into my room and walked back into the living room.
He was sitting up so I could see him. He was wearing a blue hat and a large dark navy blue jacket. It wasn’t till he turned to look at me that I noticed he was in uniform.
“Where’d you get that?” I paused to ask him.
He smiled widely when he noticed that I knew.
“There’s this sweet girl that I know, and she got me this cool jacket for my job.”
And here I was, just about to tell him that whatever he was going to do, he shouldn’t. My mouth opened but all that came out was air. Whoever his friend is, she’s high up.
“She worked her way up to her position, but not in a sweet way, you know. So I told her I would expose her unless she got me in.” he shrugged.
“How’d you meet her?”
“Oh, she may be sweet in public but she’s a downright slut in bed. Even I learned a few new things with her.” he laughed.
I’m not surprised that Jaymin was blackmailing someone to get his way. This is really all he needed to get to Vanessa. If he’s lucky, he’ll be in the rotation to watch her tonight. I don’t know when the next switch is and who’s going to be with him, but I’m sure he’s going to have a great time.
“Can you believe it took me all of two days to get your job?”
“All to kill someone.” I mumbled bitterly as I sat down on the couch next to him. “You’re not going to get lucky. Keith is rather careful with who he talks to.” I said.
“Yeah, well.” he shrugged. “I have all the time in the world right now.” he said but he was about to correct himself. “That’s not true. I have about three days before they find out that this identity just happened to show up.”
I don’t know what it is, and I wasn’t going to ask.
He took off his hat and ruffled his hair, messing it up.
“But anyway, I came by to ask for a favor.” he said, moving his arms around me, and getting up on to my lap. I wanted to push him off.
“No. I told you I wouldn’t do anything.” I said.
“It’s just a tiny favor, Morgan.” he insisted. “I need you to call up your friends and try to keep the rotation moving faster.”
“I’m not helping you.”
“I promise I’ll leave you alone forever if I kill Vanessa. I’ll be gone and you won’t have to worry about me mind fucking you.” He swore. “Though, I’ll miss actually fucking you-”
“Why are you like this?”
“Come on, Morgan. I know you want to help me out. Let’s just get this over with.” he didn’t sound that tempting to me.
But then I thought, it wouldn’t matter what I do. He said he’ll leave me alone once he kills Vanessa. That gives me freedom to do whatever I want.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this.” I reached in my pocket to get my phone.
“It’s for a good cause.” He kissed my face, trying to be endearing but he’s so bad at it.
I didn’t say anything when he continued to kiss my skin. When he licked my neck, all I could really feel was his piercing. I tried to ignore him as best as I could since I was making a phone call. His hands were starting to roam on my body but I didn’t stop him.
The only person I would call if I needed help was Harley. Could I convince her to get Keith to be more sporadic with the rotations. Yes. Would Keith go for it? That’s the real challenge.
Harley picked up rather quickly. “Are you finally bored of unemployment?” She asked when she answered.
Well that’s rude.
“I actually wanted to ask you a favor.” I said. “I have this awful feeling that something is going to happen in the next day or so. I think it would be best if Keith changed the rotations faster.” I told her, trying to fake my desperation. Hopefully she falls for it.
Jaymin didn’t stop kissing my neck. I felt his hand reach for mine, placing it at his crotch, hoping that I would let my fingers slip inside his pants. Without even thinking, I did.
“I can tell him, but he’ll just ask me why a thousand times.” She complained.
I didn’t know what to focus on. Jaymin untucked my shirt so he could touch me. He kissed my neck and I had to warn myself to not lose it.
Harley was talking to me. I needed to say something to convince her to persuade Keith.
“Well I’ll be able to sleep easier tonight knowing that Vanessa gets to live another day.” I said, though I rolled my eyes since I was basically lying through my teeth.
It won’t take long for Jaymin to grab her.
I was basically taking advantage of my friendship with Harley. It’s probably the cruelest thing I’ve done considering how much she’s been there for me.
As Harley talked, Jaymin kissed my mouth, knowing damn well that I’m talking. “How am I supposed to convince him to change his random schedule anyway?” Harley asked. I took my hand out of Jaymin’s pants and lifted his head up so he would pull away.
“Tell him there’s a leak with someone, then guilt trip him by saying it will be his fault if something happens.” I said before Jaymin had his thumb over my bottom lip.
I glanced up at him, wondering why he was so antsy and impatient. He was the one that was making me do this, he should wait patiently till I’m done. Though, by the look on his face, he wasn’t going to wait long.
“Alright, I’ll do my best, but I don’t know if he’ll go for it.” She sighed. Jaymin kissed me again which made it difficult to focus. “Honestly, I would say you should do it, but I can’t because of what happened.”
I didn’t pull away. I felt his piercing touch the roof of my mouth when his tongue licked over mine. My hand slipped in his pants again as Harley said something else. This time, I really wasn’t paying attention to her; it might’ve been something important, but I didn’t catch it. I was too busy trying to get Jaymin to back away.
My fingers pressed over his cock that was already twitch to come out of the fabric that kept it restrained. He was already dripping, and it made me wonder how long he’s been that excited. My fingers continued to rub over the tip of his cock to feel him twitching.
He leaned back, his hand cupping over his mouth to stop himself from moaning too loud. His hips were already moving into my hand, trying to get me to stroke him harder.
“...Morgan, are you listening?” I could finally tune into Harley’s voice.
“Yeah,” I answered half mindedly.
I really wasn’t.
“Well, then I’ll just try my best and see what Keith says.” She sighed quietly.
She doesn’t need to know she’s helping that woman to her quick, but painful death. It’s going to be gruesome but it will be fast. I don’t know if that’s a good thing considering that she will die anyway, but that’s something I can think about later.
“Thanks, Harley.” I said.
I hung up and put my phone down on the couch. Now I could give Jaymin my full attention, which he was trying to grab while I was doing him a favor. That’s not very smart of him, but he knows I won’t crack.
“You’re so cute, Morgan.” He laughed quietly, being cheeky.
I didn’t listen to him. My fingers reached lower, intending to push inside him, but instead I felt something. “What’s this?”
“It’s a plug.” he smiled even wider.
Oh. Well then.
“Wanna know what I’m holding in my-”
“No.” I said to stop him.
I don’t want to know. Now I’m not going to touch it because what I was thinking was not something good.
“There’s something wrong with you.” I said quietly as I looked at him.
He was too close to me, more so than I would like, considering the things he’s going to do. It’s a bad idea for him to be here. It’s a bad idea that I’m keeping him here. But he didn’t get off me, and I didn’t push him off me.
He kissed me again, this time with more enthusiasm than he did seconds before. He really did want something from me. And it wasn’t another favor. His hand gripped over my crotch before his fingers moved to outline my cock in my pants. That’s what he wanted. He was very commanding and determined, getting every cell in my entire body to follow in line and make sure that all of my attention was on him.
This was familiar. I knew everything about him by this point. The way he touched me didn’t surprise me. When he wants me, he doesn’t keep his hands off me. And when he wants me to want him, he makes sure that I keep my hands on him.
The only thing I really liked feeling was his piercing. When his tongue was in my mouth, that’s all I could focus on. Sure, the heat of his skin made mine boil, but it was his piercing that brought goosebumps all over me. It’s wrong of me to give in, but I’ve been doing this for so long that it seemed like second nature.
What was odd was that he wasn’t doing anymore than kissing me. He has a tendency to not hold back, so when he wanted something fun to do, he would just tell me and go for it. Right now, his hand stayed in one place. He didn’t reach into my pants, he didn’t try to grab me harder in hopes of getting me erect.
All he did was kiss me.
And as explicit as it was, that was it.
There was nothing else.
It gave me time to think instead of being forced into something new and different. Though, I wasn’t thinking a whole lot while he kissed me. I kept feeling for his piercing with my tongue; that’s what made him so eager.
His body pressed more on me, his arms moving to wrap around my neck. I don’t know what he was thinking since all of this isn’t his thing. It was a shock to feel him get this close on his own, but I didn’t stop him. Whatever he wants to do is whatever he wants to do; I just tend to go along with it.
My lips were wet from his tongue licking me. I only got a second to breathe before his mouth was on me again, his tongue roaming my mouth as I did the same to him. I expected no less from him, even if it was something as simple as kissing. It was dirty, it was sloppy, it was wet. That’s just how things are with him.
A phone was ringing, which snapped me out of my trance, but it wasn’t my phone.
Jaymin bit my bottom lip to get my attention again. Both his hands moved to my face, tilting my head back further as he rose up on me more. His teeth let go and I felt his tongue in my open mouth again. His teeth bit me one more time, this time harder to get me to jerk from the sudden pain. He pulled away and I opened my eyes to scowl, but he smiled at me like he always down. His tongue stayed stuck out of his mouth, showing me the teal piercing on his tongue.
I had half a mind to suck on his tongue. I bit down on my lip, feeling where he bit me because the heat began to pool there. I just wanted to control myself. I know what he’s doing and I would prefer if he didn’t do it.
He smiled evilly when he noticed my hesitation.
“You’ve got a dirty mouth, Morgan.” he said.
Well I can say more about him and his mouth if he really wants to go at it.
He got off me and took out his phone in his pocket. He kept smiling as he read the message. It must be something that can make his day.
“Your friend’s reliable.” he tucked his phone back in his pocket. “Guess I get to have some fun today.” he picked up his hat at the edge of the couch.
I had no idea that he would be next to get to Vanessa. I anticipated a day or so, but right now? That’s going to be fun for him. I don’t even know if he’s going to try and hold himself back. We both know he’s really going to lose it when he sees her.
Then again, why is this my concern.
I was quiet as I realized that Jaymin was off to kill another person. I don’t know what identity he’s using, and I didn’t want to know because then I would be obligated to say something.
He was so happy because he’s finally ending everything with one kill.
There’s nothing that could make him smile wider.
“Thanks for your help, Morgan.” he leaned closer to me so he could kiss me. This time it was quick. His fingers caressed my cheek before he pulled away. “I really appreciate it.” he said, a wicked tone to his voice.
We both know what he’s about to do.
And I wasn’t going to stop him.
He turned away so he could leave, putting his hat on and fixing his hair. “I’ll be sure to text you the address so you can see me in action.” he said before walking out.
That was not something I wanted to wait for.
It was still early on in the day. I expected to have a few more hours till I’m tormented. Was it too early to get a drink? Bars are open at this time, right?
I took a breath as I slouched more on the couch. I know what I want to do. It’s just that now I have to get up and do it.
I’d rather get a drink first.
I sat up on the bar stool holding my shot glass between my fingers as I thought about mostly life and things I’m going to do. Now that I actually don’t have to stay here, I’m trying to get off my ass and actually leave.
“Sorry I’m late.” Harley came up beside me and put her bag on the counter. “I had to put my foot down and say I deserved a half day.” she sat down next to me.
“They give it to you?”
“No, I’m just on break.” She said sadly and took my shot glass, tipping it back when she pressed it to her lips and drinking the vodka in one gulp. “I’m leaving at six though, so there’s that.” she put the glass down.
“That was mine.” I pulled the shot glass from her fingertips.
“What are you doing drinking? You say you’re not an alcoholic, but you’re not very convincing.” she said.
“An alcoholic can’t live without a drink. I can live without a drink.” I said, though I asked for another shot. I stopped counting how many I drank. Next I should ask for scotch.
“My kidneys can handle it.” I said as the bar tender poured more vodka into my shot glass. “I just need a minute.”
Not everything that’s happened to me in the past year has settled in yet, and as much as I wanted it to sink in, it just wouldn’t. I know I’ve snapped somewhere along the way, so maybe that’s why nothing wants to stick.
“I’m going to go to Florida.” I finally said.
“It’s hot down there.”
“I know it is. That’s why I want to go.” I said, though it didn’t sound right.
Did I make that choice on a whim? It doesn’t feel like it. But I said it anyway.
“I want to go to D.C.” she said, getting a shot glass from the bar tender. “If NSA doesn’t work, I want to be secret service.” she’s always been dreaming about that. “We’ll see if that works out.”
“Just go then.” I was in a just do it mood.
“I should.” she said quietly.
I got Harley thinking about life, which wasn’t what she wanted to do at the moment. Maybe she’ll quit in a few weeks, or months, and realize she can do something better somewhere else.
We shouldn’t be stuck in a place that gets too crazy.
This past year has been the absolute worst.
“So bad news is, Keith was talking to Harrison about subpoenaing you in court.” She mentioned.
“If I didn’t talk then, I won’t talk in court.” I got my shot glass refilled. “Keith really needs to get over it.” I said plainly.
“You’ll be sworn in.”
“Unless someone can prove I’m lying, I’m not going to care.” I drank from my glass.
The heat didn’t feel the same, I need something stronger.
“So what’d you lie about?” She asked.
The first thing I wanted to tell her was how I used her to get Keith and be an idiot by moving the rotations faster. In all honesty, that’s not going to protect Vanessa and I’m not saying that because I know it really isn’t protecting her. If I tell Harley that truth, she’ll crumble. She’ll hate me.
“I lied about a lot of things, Harley. Let’s not go over it.” I sighed and put my head down. The next few weeks will be brutal if I do get subpoenaed. “I just want to move.”
“I just want people to take me seriously.”
“Be part of the SWAT team, they actually like you there.” I said.
“Really?” She seemed shocked.
“Yeah, so do the fire fighters, and the bomb squad. Apparently it’s just the police having a hard time taking you seriously.” I looked at her.
She stared off into the distance.
“Did you take me seriously?” She looked down at me when she had her moment.
“You’re the only person that actually did their job everyday.” I shrugged. “You covered for me, I covered for you. You made things easy but you had great ideas which people took that part of you for granted. You were better than me at everything and I think you toned it down so it wouldn’t hurt me.”
She laughed out loud, her hand hitting the wooden counter. It looked like that kind of laughter that hurt.
“Oh wow, now I have no idea what to do.” But she laughed anyway.
I feel like she’d be okay no matter what she chose to do.
She asked for another drink for us instead of just shots.
I didn’t know how much of a bad influence I was on her until she really started drinking. I think she was going to skip out on going to work, too. At some point, she just got too drunk to show up. I had to make her stop though I wasn’t stoping myself. I’m one drink away from falling over and having slurred speech and probably passing around.
I need to not do it.
Her phone was ringing in her purse and she fumbled around to get it, mumbling to herself how she knew it was work.
“Oh, God, it’s Keith.” she groaned before she picked up. She used her hand to cover her face as she pressed her phone to her ear. “Yes?” she tried to sound not drunk.
I could hear yelling but I couldn’t make out the words. I just stared at my shot glass before drinking the vodka in it. I should stop at this point. I need to actually make it back to my apartment safely without falling over.
“You lost her?” Harley just about shouted. “Well who the hell was last on the list?” she asked loudly.
Well, this was part one of a gruesome death.
Vanessa goes missing.
“Shit, shit!” Harley scrambled to get her things. “People leave to have a drink, and everything goes to hell.” she muttered but she still had her phone at her ear.
“Harley.” I made her focus.
“I have to go.” she stood up and held up her purse. She blinked a few times and took a breath, hoping that she wouldn’t be drunk when she meets up with them. “Apparently other people can’t do their jobs.” she loosened herself up and left.
I don’t know if she was trying to piss off Keith but I can tell her now that it worked.
I put my phone down on the counter and waited. Thirty minutes later, my screen lit up with a message from an unknown sender. It was an address.
I’ve gone down this road before.
I waited for a while to give myself some time. I know what I can handle seeing and what I can’t handle seeing. The last thing I need right now is to push myself over the edge, and the edge is close considering that I’m mildly drunk.
When I had enough of waiting, I put my glass down and took my phone, putting it in my pocket. I paid my tab and left the bar so I can go find a gruesome scene that I don’t necessarily want to avoid for some stupid reason. By the time I get to him, he would’ve already killed her. I won’t be surprised, and Vanessa’s death will feel like an everyday thing.
It was a good thing that all this will be over.
That’s all I really wanted, I guess, no matter how it happened.
I walked around, watching the sun for a little bit before I took this seriously and made my way over to the address.
It was on the farther side of the city, where it actually gets quiet. The buildings were nicer and spread apart. I don’t know what made it a good place for a murder but it’s whatever Jaymin wants. I was barely focused but it was enough for me to orient myself and find my way around.
I looked at the street signs to see where I was.
There was this looming presence, like somewhere nearby there was something deadly going on. I groaned miserably because I knew what it was. How could I not?
I turned the corner and found an alleyway that looked rather dark. Well dark enough that someone walking by wouldn’t turn their attention to look.
“You’re a bit late.” Jaymin said, holding a silver gun in his hand. He was still wearing his FBI jacket. “You’re not surprised though.” he shot the body twice, the loud gunshots going off and echoing in the early night.
“She’s already dead.” I said, seeing the body laying on the ground in a pool of blood. When I walked up closer, I saw all the gunshot wounds that were all over her body.
There were bullet holes everywhere on her. He completely mutilated her face with a gun. Her cheeks were torn open, there was severe bleeding from her head; her mouth was open and I saw a bullet hole at the back of her throat. There were multiple at her neck, her jaw, her collarbone. The holes kept going around her body, her hands, her legs, everywhere.
She’s definitely dead.
“Yeah, I know.” he would’ve shot her again but he didn’t. “I thought you would try to save her since you still have that one last moral bone in your body.” he mentioned rather bitterly which made me wonder what he had to go through to get Vanessa away.
I know he didn’t torture her. He killed her first, probably a bullet to the head. Then he just let loose and destroyed the body for the fun of it. He’s done worse to people.
“You can stop now.” I said as I put my hands in my pockets. “There’s no reason why you should be holding a grudge anymore.”
He laughed loudly.
“Yeah, I did promise I would leave you alone, didn’t I?” he aimed his gun at the body again, but I pushed his hand down so he wouldn’t shoot her again.
This might have been the sanest kill Jaymin’s ever done. Then again, I don’t know if he did anything else to her. Her clothes were ripped open so there’s a possibility to let my mind roam to the things he might’ve done. Right now, the most visible thing were the bullet holes all over the body.
“A little birdie told me that you lost your job today.” he casually mentioned, though I detected the hostility in his voice. “By the smell of alcohol on you, I’m sure you tried to drink your problems away.”
“Problems? I’m finally done.” I was more than happy to be released from the cold clammy hands of the government. “I have nothing else to deal with now.”
“I’m never going to understand you.” he looked at me. “You’re always so calm about everything.” he complained. “Don’t you ever get mad about the shit people do to you?” he asked.
“Why should I be mad? It was my fault.” I was being rather rational.
“Come on, Morgan? Seriously?” he stomped around obnoxiously. “Didn’t you give everything to that job? And you’re just gonna let them toss you like you ain’t mean nothing to them?”
Why does he care so much? I was on the opposite side of him. He should be happy that I have nothing to do with them anymore. It’s not like he had to worry about me that much, but it should definitely be a load off his shoulders knowing that I’m not doing anything on the opposing side.
I walked by him, not really wanting to talk about what happened since it felt like I was getting mad. And I shouldn’t.
“Just leave it alone, Jaymin.” I said as I continued walking.
“There was no warning. Just like that, they ruined what you spent years doing.” He said, making me stop.
It bothered me that he kept talking about it. I wasn’t sure why he wanted to, I mean, it shouldn’t mean anything to him.
“And no one wanted to help you? They were all involved but they get off easy while you get kicked off.” He scoffed. “I’m sure you gave in more than the bare minimum, tried your hardest to actually do your job. It’s not like you always lied to them.”
He was angry...for me, not at me.
I refused to show my anger, but the facade was slipping rather quickly, considering how I was drunk enough to let my emotions roam. All kinds of different thoughts ran through my mind about what happened, and Jaymin kept talking to me, getting me riled up second after second.
He was right though.
I’ve done my fair share. I’ve worked hard. I barely ever caused trouble. It’s not my fault that they wanted to let me go. And even then they couldn’t give me time to adjust after I spent years with them. They just got rid of me like it was nothing. The FBI decides to show up out of nowhere and run the place like it was theirs and it cost me my job.
They forced me to join them, they accused me of being a criminal while working with them, so they tossed me after taking my ideas and plans. I gave them everything they needed to do the work on their own but even then they couldn’t do that.
I turned to face Jaymin slowly, not liking how I felt on the inside. I shouldn’t get mad, but I was getting there.
He walked closer to me, still holding his guns in his hands. He was angry. His eyes had a familiar vengeful look. I’ve only known him taking out his frustration on me. Would he hurt me because I wasn’t giving in the way he wants me to? With the way he looked at me, I could tell he wanted to.
It wasn’t fair that I was okay with things happening to me and he couldn’t be.
I thought I was okay. I was pretending to be okay. But I’m drowning in rage and anger. I wasn’t accepting it. Jaymin just thought it was too easy, that there was something obviously wrong with me. I wanted to keep it together but he was unraveling me rather quickly.
“Are you really going to let them get away with using you? You know what they did, and you know they shouldn’t have done it. That ain’t fair at all.” He stood in front of me as he spoke, getting to me when I told myself he shouldn’t.
But he’s right.
“You deserve more than that, don’t you think?” He asked.
I know what he was doing but I couldn’t stop him. Most of me knew he was right. That it wasn’t fair that this happened to me. The other part of me wanted to reason, to say I was the one obstructing justice, to point out that I was keeping secrets. But Jaymin was somehow winning in persuading me. I knew it but I didn’t stop him.
“They shouldn’t treat you like that after everything you’ve done for them.” He walked around me. “Make them regret it.”
I felt his fingers brush against the back of my hands; he slipped his guns from his hands to mine and I just...took them without hesitating. I stared at the ground, thinking of everything I was about to do.
But deep down, I didn’t care.
It was like flashes of red clouding my vision from my anger and rage. I tried to keep down but it got worse and worse, making me grip the guns in my hands.
“Get ’em, Morgan.” Jaymin said in my ear before backing away from me.
It wasn’t long till there was a growing flame inside me. It was something alarming. I didn’t try to stop it either.
Jaymin was right.
I should do something.
That night, there was a fire at the station that almost burned the entire place to the ground. The fire was used to burn the bodies that were dead before anything lit up. Only a few actually died because of the fire. A majority of the deaths were caused by bullet wounds to the head and chest. The fire burned all the evidence down.
That was just the first of the new sets of murders.
My hands were shaking with the guns between my fingers grasp. There were no more rounds. I couldn’t do anything else. I don’t know what I was feeling, if it was still anger or maybe just satisfaction. I didn’t like it at all.
I think I was stunned, and traumatized.
I had to find...Jaymin...I don’t think I can do this alone. This isn’t for me, and considering that now I’m going to be a wanted criminal when people put everything together, I need a way to get out of here unscathed.
I didn’t try to hide the guns as I walked. My fingers were shaking and tensed and I wouldn’t drop them. I felt the blood smeared on my hands and on my face. I wanted to get my clothes off and take a shower to get all this blood off me.
I got to my apartment and finally dropped the guns I was holding to the floor. I shrugged out of my jacket and was just seconds away from taking off my shirt but stopped when I saw Jaymin sitting at the counter, a bottle of vodka and a shot glass between his hands.
I don’t...I didn’t...
I just needed to take a shower.
“What took you so long? I thought you’d be in and out.” he said as he opened the bottle, pouring the alcohol into the shot glass.
“I s-s-started a fire.” I stuttered.
“Oh, nice touch.” he seemed impressed.
“I need t-to get out of h-here, I-I need to, uh...” I was panicking. I was still shaking from the adrenaline and it wouldn’t stop. I need to get changed and get out of here.
But then what?
I mean, I don’t do this. I don’t kill people. I don’t try to hide from the government. What the hell am I going to do?
Jaymin got off the chair and came over to grab me. He put his hands on my face and made me look at him only. I couldn’t stand still though he really did try to make me.
“Morgan, you’re fine.” he said slowly to me. “You did just fine.”
“But I-I k-killed so m-many people.”
“And?” he didn’t seem to understand why I was freaking out. “That’s hot.” he smiled, finding the good to me ending people’s lives.
I had no idea what to tell him.
“It felt good, didn’t it?” he asked because this was what he was waiting for. I nodded without hesitation. It did feel good, and that’s why I was panicking. “See? Now we’re getting somewhere.” he let go of me.
I don’t understand how he can be this calm about murder.
I just need to go.
“I want to leave. I have to be anywhere but here.” I stressed out, pulling off my shirt as I walked to my room.
Jaymin gasped. “Let’s go to Florida!”
I stopped abruptly and turned around. “Is this a game to you?” I asked. “I get that you enjoy yourself when you ruin an entire family, but I can’t do what you do.” I yelled at him.
I don’t want to, no matter how amazing I felt. I’m not going to. It bothers me that Jaymin was taking this lightly. He made me like this and I bet this is fun to him.
“What you really need to do is calm down.” he said, rolling his eyes. “Just have your fun, and I’ll clean up the mess.”
I couldn’t move now. The only thing going through my body was the slight tremors from the adrenaline that was still coursing through my veins. I shouldn’t panic, he says I shouldn’t panic.
I can have my fun and he’ll clean up the mess.
“If you want to leave that badly, I’ll take care of it. Just give me a day, and we’ll be gone.”
“How?” I asked.
“Oh, Morgan. My friends are your friends now.” He smiled at me.
I really think this is a game to him and he’s been winning the entire time. The only relief I had was knowing that he could get me out of here without a problem. I just want to leave.
“I’m going to take a shower.” I turned away.
“Wait!” He stopped me. “Can we, uh...there’s blood on you.” He said.
“Yeah...” I know there’s blood on me, that’s why I’m going to wash it off.
I didn’t understand what he meant till he bit his lip and had that expression on his face like he was trying to hold back.
“You’re kidding?-” I almost started yelling.
“You know what you’re dealing with. You shouldn’t be surprised.” He defended himself quickly.
I would’ve avoided as much blood as possible if I knew he’d want to fuck me while drenched in it. I never thought he was serious with those fetishes but now I know he was.
Jaymin still tried. “Can I, like, lick-”
“No!” I said immediately, drawing the line which was rather thin unfortunately. “For future reference, you cannot do anything to me when I’m covered in blood.” I stopped him from fantasizing.
“You’re so mean to me.” He pouted.
“If only you were just a normal person...” I muttered to myself as I turned again to go to my room.
I just needed to wash all the blood off my body.
I couldn’t stay. I had to pack immediately so we could leave. I didn't bring a lot with me since Jaymin was rushing me. He had a place to stay for an hour or two, but the idea was to leave. Jaymin was watching the news when I walked out of the room with my bag; he was ready to go but something on the news was making him laugh.
“...incredible fire tonight that seemed to burn almost everything to the ground. There were many bodies found at the scene, most hard to identify from harsh burn wounds.” The news reporter said at the scene.
It’s been about four hours but the fire spread to other buildings which fire fighters were still trying to contain. The background was bright orange from the explosion that happened to a building off to the side.
“You killed more people than I ever did.” Jaymin smiled widely.
I honestly didn’t think it would get that bad. Then again, I wasn’t shocked. The fire was a visual representation of the anger I tried to hold back. Now, I wasn’t angry. I was thinking rationally, still a little intoxicated, but not as bad as earlier.
Jaymin threw me off when he said I killed more people than he did. It was the truth, even the kills that only had to do with the fire. I didn’t want to talk about it.
“Can we not do this?” I asked.
“Does it hurt?” he looked at me.
“No, it doesn’t,” I didn’t think that was the point, “but-”
“Good.” he didn’t care that I had something to add to that. His main point was that I didn’t feel anything. “If you felt bad or guilty, I’d have to leave you.” He looked at me, completely serious. I narrowed my eyes at his comment. “I’m kidding,” he laughed. “You know I wouldn’t leave you.”
“That’s awful, considering how I’d leave you if I didn’t need you so much.” I said without feeling bad.
He pulled his lips in, frowning. “Why are you so mean to me?” He asked sadly.
I know he’s not really sad. He could barely hold his expression before he started laughing again.
“Murder suits you.” He laughed.
“Jaymin, can you not-”
He shushed me and pointed to the TV, making me focus because it looked like there was something important going on as if the fire and death wasn’t important enough.
“...gotten word that the security footage was recovered for night.” A different reporter said.
“Damn.” That’s not good. I know what’s on that footage. “We need to leave.”
“Wait...” He smiled wider because they were going to show some of it.
It’s not that I forgot there were cameras, it’s more like I didn’t care. I blacked out multiple times while I was over there so I remembered bits and pieces.
Though, I did remember what they were showing. In the video, I walked by a body that was already dead on the floor, which they tried to blur out but didn’t succeed very well at. I threw a lit match in a trash can, though I had gasoline poured absolute everywhere. That’s why I kicked the trash can over and lines of flames spread everywhere.
I wasn’t in that much of a rush to go anywhere. That’s why I stayed in the fire for just a few seconds longer even as the heat broke out. I remembered seeing the camera I was in front of and thinking “I’m glad they’re going to watch this” because I was just so mad that I hoped they saw every single person go down and burn in the fire. I looked up towards the camera, splatters of blood on my face and on my clothes, holding one of my guns in my hands, and I smiled before shooting it out.
That’s not even the worst thing I did. I know they don’t want to show any of that to the public.
But my face was clearly shown perfectly in the black and white image.
I didn’t feel torn about my psychotic break. I didn’t try to deny that was me. That was totally me. I’m taking responsibility for it. I don’t know if I would’ve changed how I did it either.
“You’re so hot.” Jaymin said beside me as he stared at the screen.
“I don’t know if you realize this, but I’m wanted now. We need to go.” I wanted to leave though Jaymin wanted to keep watching just in case they did show more.
“But I want to see more.” He complained.
The reporters on the news was warning people to not approach me and just call the police. I’m not some crazy psycho who’s going to go on a killing spree if someone sees me. I feel attacked right now.
“I’d pay for that footage.” He said as I pushed him away from the TV so we could go.
“I know what you were really going to say.” I sighed as I continued to pull him along with me as we left the apartment.
“That I’d jerk off to that footage?” He asked, smiling widely. I stared at him for a second. “I thought you weren’t in the mood to hear it.” He confessed.
Well that’s mildly considerate.
“That’s never really stopped you.” I said anyway.
“Now that I know you’d probably fuck me up and then leave me for dead, I have to watch what I do around you.” He said.
“Okay, wait.” I stopped walking. “You’re telling me I just had to kill a few people for you to actually respect my space?” I asked him.
He stopped paying attention for a second, staring right at my face but not focusing. But then he began to smile at me slowly.
“You’re so hot.” He said.
“Can you stop it?”
“I wish you didn’t wash off the blood.” He bit his lip, trying to hide his frustration but he didn’t do a good job.
I turned away, rolling my eyes because I will never get through to him. “I’m sure there will be plenty of opportunities for you to-” what the hell was I saying? My eyes widened when I realized. “No!” I turned to him because I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.
“You’re a murderer, Morgan, and that’s sexy.” He walked by me, still smiling. “You have to admit though, you’ve been waiting for that moment to let it out.” He continued.
The only thing that has ever sunk in so quickly throughout my entire life was that I killed people and I don’t...really care. That’s what’s unfortunate about the situation. I guess that shows a lot about me. I’m not going to see it the way Jaymin does, but I am indifferent to the situation. I was done wrong, so I did what I thought was best. That’s how I so calmly saw it.
Sure, that’s a problem, but I just shrugged it off.
If what’s left of the police has a clue, they’ll be at my apartment to search my things. And the surprise will be that they’ll find Jaymin’s prints and DNA as well. I’d feel disrespected if they didn’t get it and say we’re working together. That’s literally what it looks like, and there’s no way that they should be in denial. Just because it’s me doesn’t mean anything.
I have to say I’m putting my trust in Jaymin since he’s done the whole “escaping murder charges” multiple times.
I finally get to leave like I said I would. I’ll be someone else, which is okay. Though, I’ll always look down at my hands and see the blood I have on them. Then again, that’s not such a bad thing to me.