Dua rested her elbows on her knees and clasped her hands across her closed eyes. It was raining heavily tonight. It has been raining non-stop over a month and this weather made her feel sick. She wanted to close the curtains but she felt too tired to do it. The distance between the bed and the window seemed like miles to her right now.
A loud rumble forced Dua to look up and out of the window. The scenery of the night was blurred because the downpour was fogging up the glass. Dua kept watching it blankly. The heavy it poured, the heavy her heart became.
Dua hated rains because they reminded her of Ammara. She loved monsoon and it was impossible to stop her whenever it rained. Ammara played in rains, jumping and dancing while laughing her heart out like a little child. And she looked truly beautiful. So beautiful that one would actually stop and be awed by her.
Dua stood up and went to the window angrily. She grabbed the curtain to pull it across the window but couldn’t. Her lips trembled and hands started shaking as memories flashed across her tear filled eyes.
“You are going to catch a cold at this rate. Its winter rains for goodness sake.” Dua yelled at Ammara who was spinning slowly with arms spread wide. A goofy smile stretched across her lips as she faced the sky with closed eyes. “I swear Ammara, if you came to my room and spread your germs-”
“Can you relax Dua?” Ammara groaned. “Come out.”
“No” Dua flat out refused. “I am not a rain-maniac like you.” Ammara shook her head at her little sister. “It’s enough. Come inside now.”
“You are too uptight for your age Dua.” Dua gaped at Ammara when she started dancing again. “Live a little.”
“I will. Inside our home.” But Ammara was not listening.
“I thought you liked to be spontaneous and sporty but you are too chicken to even come out in rain.” Ammara tsked.
“Says the one who was born a granny.” Ammara threw Dua a dirty look. “You know it’s true.”
“I’m going to tell everyone especially Hadi that you are afraid of rains because you think you will wash away.”
“I will tell him first that you walk out in rain in see-through clothes.”
“Dua!” Ammara wrapped her arms around herself and glared at her laughing sister with a furious blush adorning her cheeks. “Don’t you dare”
“Too late.” Dua saluted and turned to leave. “Hadi should know how bold his wife is. He believes you are too timi-Ammara!” a horrified scream slipped past her lips. “AMMARA! You rain-frog” Dua was yelling nonstop but Ammara just dragged her out and held her until she was soaking wet from head to toe. “You! I am going to kill you.”
“You love me too much to do that” Dua tried to run back but Ammara grabbed her hands and spun her around. “Chill baby sister. We are not getting wet. We are just creating memories.”
“We are creating flu Ammara and you will know once you started the chain of it.”
“Someday” Ammara grabbed her shoulders gently, “We won’t be together.” Dua frowned at her bright smile. “But this” she looked at the sky in contentment, “will keep us connected. It wouldn’t matter how far apart we will be because whenever it will rain, you will remember me.”
“We are not going to live apart Ammara. You will just be going a couple of miles away.” Ammara let go of her shoulders and ran back. “Ammara! Slow down.” Dua yelled at her. “It’s dangerous. You will hurt-”
“Don’t forget to remember me in rains Dua” Her voice started fading away in distance. “Don’t forget to walk out and feel me because I will always be there.”
Dua watched her outstretched palm emptily. Dua didn’t notice when she walked out until a loud thunder shook her out of her memories. Tears were rolling down her cheeks nonstop but the droplets of rain falling on her face masked them as their own.
“Ammara was right” she whispered lowly. “But it’s not the distance of miles apart.” Her shoulders fell and she bowed her head in defeat.
What do I have? What will I have?
A warmth spread up her back suddenly and before Dua knew it, she threw herself in it.
“Dua!” Her grip tightened on his back and she pushed herself further into him. If only she knew what her gestures were doing to Asfand. They were soaking wet and Asfand could feel her every curve against his hard frame. It was driving him insane to the point that he almost ripped off her clothes just now.
God knows how much sexually frustrated he was. Two and half months passed to that night and though he swore to not touch her because of what she said, he couldn’t stop his body from reacting to her closure.
His one hand moved down her waist and over her hips. His arm that was wrapped around her mid-back moved up a notch and his fingers lightly grazed her bosoms. Small tremors started shaking her frame and Asfand took it as her response to his administrations.
Until he felt her hot tears soaking his shirt.
“Dua?” She pressed her face further in his chest to muffle her sobs. “Look at me” he pulled her face up and his eyes hardened when he saw her red eyes. “What happened?” Asfand cupped her face with both hands to keep her eyes locked with his.
Dua gripped his shirt with shaky hands and drew in a sharp breath. She wasn’t expecting this. She wasn’t expecting Asfand to come when she was at her weakest. Again. She didn’t even knew he was back. At first, she wasn’t even sure if he was real until she felt his warmth and heard his heartbeat.
“Why is it that I always find you like this?” Her lips trembled when Asfand ran his thumb over them slowly.
Why is it that you always come when I’m like this?
“You like to fuck with my mind, don’t you?” Asfand jerked her close and grabbed her head with one hand while other stayed locked around her jaw.
You just want to fuck me.
“Damn you woman” Dua breathed harshly when his hot breath caressed her lips. “Damn you for fucking with me like this.”
Damn you for coming in my life like this.
“Asfand!” Dua whispered harshly when he meshed her frame to his. Her hands bunched around his collar when Asfand dipped his head in her neck and kissed his way up and behind her ear. “Let go.” He just growled lowly before biting her earlobe softly. “Asfand!” Dua moaned softly when his lips moved down her neck and nipped on her collarbone. “Stop-”
“Why are you crying?” Her eyes snapped open and clashed with his green forests that were ready to burn her whole. Her grip loosened on his shirt and she pushed at his chest to break free. “Dua!”
“Let go” Dua punched his chest violently. “Leave me. Leave me alone.” But Asfand didn’t budge. He kept her locked in his hold and waited for her tantrum to die down. “Go. Just go away. Like everyone. I don’t care. I don’t need anyone. I don’t want anyone. So leave, like everyone else. Leave like you always do.”
“Don’t give me bullshit.” Dua grabbed his collar again and jerked him towards her. “I don’t need to hear anything from you. All you ever do is lie and I am sick of it already.”
“Just one call and you left like that.” Dua gritted her teeth when Asfand chose to watch her silently. “So, don’t act up like you actually care.”
She wasn’t expecting any explanation from Asfand but it made her angry that he didn’t even try to dissolve her doubts. Since when did I need him to explain himself to me? The thought surprised her and the more she pondered over it, the angrier she got.
“Listen to me” Asfand jerked her back when she tried to walk past him. “Stop assuming things on your own. I didn’t go to Saba-”
“I don’t care” Dua yelled angrily. “I didn’t ask and I don’t want to-” Asfand grabbed her head and smashed his lips on hers. Dua kept protesting against him violently until his mouth and tongue coaxed her into his doings. Her hands gripped his shirt and she pushed herself against him with a moan when his actions turned intense.
“You talk too much sometimes” Asfand whispered against her lips huskily. “And it makes me want to shut you up like this.” He kissed her again, harder than before. “Try spouting bullshit again and you will see the worst of it.” Without giving her a warning, he carried her in his arms and took her back inside their room against her angry protests.
“Stay put janaan.” Asfand made her sit on the bed and loomed over her a second longer before standing up straight. Dua watched him go to the closet area and come back with towels. He extended them to her but Dua just watched him silently. “You should avoid looking at me like that.” Asfand put the towel over her head and chuckled when she groaned. “It might seem an innocent gesture to you but it makes me want to do things.”
“I thought you were disgusted by me” Dua pulled the towel off her head and looked at him. “I thought you said you never want to touch me again.”
“You need to change” Dua grabbed his wrist when Asfand turned to leave. He looked at his wife who seemed at lost for everything after this little stunt she pulled unconsciously. He could see her struggling with herself. To hold on or to let go? And it put a teasing smile on his lips when he saw the blush spreading across her cheeks. “Yes?”
“Don’t act up” Her bitter tone was not enough to soil his musings. “I don’t need your sympathy.”
“What do you need then?” Dua blinked at the sudden question Asfand threw her way. “Tell me” Asfand knelt in front of her and palmed her knees casually. But the mere gestures zapped her from head to toe. “What do you need from me?”
“I don’t need anything from you.” Dua whispered inaudibly. Her hands fisted when his palms started moving up her thighs, slowly and lazily. “Because you cannot give me anything.”
“Hmm” Asfand hummed lowly. “If that is the case.” A low gasp left her lips when his fingers slid under her shirt and skimmed over her abdomen. “I will leave you to your” His pupils dilated and turned dark when his eyes moved down to her rapidly rising and falling chest. “Things.”
Dua didn’t notice him undoing all the buttons of her shirt and pulling it apart. She was so hooked by his sight that she didn’t notice how he was looking at her bare chest. Until his fingers skimmed over her flesh and stroked her sensitive spots teasingly.
“Asfand!” Dua put her hand on his to push him away. “You-” But his mouth claimed hers in another searing kiss.
Everything happened so fast that they couldn’t even grasp the reality of it.
“I swear on it janaan." Asfand grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her head back. His mouth came down on her once again and he literally melted her insides with his every touch. Dua forgot everything when Asfand pushed her back on the bed and climbed on top of her. His hands were moving everywhere on her body and hers were digging in every ridge of his hard frame.
They didn’t notice when they tore each other’s clothes off. All Dua could feel was his mouth on hers and his hands down her body. All Asfand could hear was her sweet moans and feel her tiny frame wrapped around him possessively.
“I am not going to be a gentleman this time.” He buried himself deep within her but it was not enough. He wanted more and he was going to get it. “I will make you scream so hard that you will forget every other fucking thing.” He grabbed her jaw and looked in her hazy eyes. “I will fuck you so hard that I will be the only pain you will remember.”
Dua couldn’t bring herself to move her body freely and that’s what forced her eyes open. Her vision was blur and she blinked slowly to adjust it to her surroundings. And the first thing she noticed was the naked chest under her head. Her eyes slowly traveled up and rested on his sleeping face. For a moment, Dua just watched him silently as if he was some sculpture carved out of perfection.
Until everything came back to her like a ripping tornado.
Her eyes widen in horror when she looked down on their bodies. She was naked. He was naked and they were wrapped around each other as if they were one. Dua tried to rip her body away from his and winced when her legs throbbed.
Bloody monster. He really did what he said. She glared at his sleeping face murderously. After much struggle, she somehow managed to untangle herself from Asfand’s hold. Dua didn’t want him to wake up. This was something she didn’t expect to happen again and she didn’t want to face Asfand right now. At every cost.
It would have been much better if he had left like last time. Dua looked at Asfand one more time and reached for the sheets lying on the floor. For now, she just wanted to get away from him. Just when she bent down to pick it, she felt hands on her hips. Dua jerked up straight and before she could have turned or prepared herself, his attack came.
“Asfand!” Dua screeched in embarrassment when he sucked on her butt-cheek loudly. “What are you doing? Stop!” She was writhing in his hold like a dying fish but Asfand was not ready to leave her yet. “Asf-”
“Where were you running to?” Asfand flipped her to him and despite her chagrin and protests, hugged her naked body as if it was the most normal and natural thing for him to do. “There are still some hours left to the day break.”
“Can you let go?” To her utter discomfort, Asfand pushed his face in her lower region. His hands went around her hips and he started massaging them in slow patterns. “Asfand!” Dua fisted his hair when he pushed his face further into her naked torso. The feeling of his hot breath on her tender and swollen flesh churned her insides with new burning. “Please-”
“Don’t!” He let go of her suddenly and Dua didn’t waste a second to grab the sheets and wrap them around her body. Her heart was going crazy and it went into overdrive when Asfand stood up and towered over her completely. “Don’t give me this look. I might do something that your body could not take at the moment.”
“Don’t come any closer” Asfand kept advancing towards her with each of her step backward. “It’s enough. Don’t you dar-” Her back hit the wall and once again, she was caged in his arms and captured in his eyes. “This is not right.” Dua gulped inaudibly when Asfand let his hands fall to her thighs. In one jerk, he lifted her off and forced her to wrap her legs around his hips. “You should not do this.”
“Just admit it” Dua palmed his shoulders to support herself when he moved closer until they were nose to nose with each other. “That you like this.” Their eyes stared deep into each other. “You like it when I touch you.” A low moan slip past her lips when Asfand ground himself against her. “When I kiss you” He whispered huskily in her ear. “When I-”
“Put me down” Dua rasped lowly. She knew what dangers this attraction involved and she was not going to take chances. She made the mistake again and she was not going to let this happen one more time. Never again. “You are wrong. I don’t like this. I don’t want it.”
“Lie all you want but how will you stop your body?” Her back arched into him when he thrust himself against her again. “We can work on it janaan.” Asfand licked his way from her ear down her throat and sucked her cleavage. “In a way that won’t hinder whatever we plan to do in future.”
“You want us to use each other? Or should I say you want to strike some deal that would get you between my legs easily?” Asfand pulled away from her chest to glare at her. “Do you even know how sick you sound right now?”
“Did I ever sound pleasant to you?” Dua pursed her lips and looked away. “I will be honest janaan. I want to fuck you senseless and I don’t think it is something that is in my control anymore.” Dua glared at him murderously. “But that doesn’t mean I want you to be my fuck-doll as you put it. You are my wife and there is nothing wrong in it if I desire my wife like some sex-deprived animal.” Asfand put her back to her feet but kept her in the cage of his arms. “I will touch you only when you want me to.”
“So! You will not if I say no?” Asfand nodded grimly. Dua couldn’t understand why his answer infuriated her a little. “What do you intend to gain out of it?”
“Distraction.” Dua frowned at his answer. “For us. Let’s just say I hate weaknesses.”
It all sounded so sinful yet Dua couldn’t stop herself from contemplating over it. In a way Asfand was right. He could provide her with a distraction that she might need to stop herself from falling weak to her memories. Like now. One touch and she completely forgot everything else.
“What-” His phone interrupted them once again and Asfand left her to attend the call. His expressions blended into coldness when he saw the i.d. Without sparing a glance or excuse her way, he grabbed his sweats and wore them before walking out of the room.
“What?” Asfand answered the call once he was in his study. He was aware of the way Dua was looking at him but he was in no position to tell her anything. Not now.
“You left.” Asfand sat behind his table and turned his chair towards the window. “What should I make of this Asfandyar?”
“I thought I made myself very clear when I walked out of that room.” He grabbed the candle Dua gave him and observed it closely. “We don’t see eye to eye on the matter at hand and unfortunately, I refuse to be your puppet.”
“I never said I want you to be my puppet.” Asfand scoffed at this. “I am trying to understand you Asfandyar. Don’t make me regret my decision."
“Like I said, I don’t feel like explaining my actions to you.”
“Let’s say I understand your reason to keep her alive and by your side. What do you intend to do once you have achieved them? She will never forget and admit it, you are linked to the people who killed her family.” Asfand knew this old foul was not going to let it go that easily.
“If you are worried that she will get to your truth through me then rest at ease. I don’t intend to be part of your stratagem.” Asfand placed the candle back on the table and stood up. “I know where your fears lie. You will lose more than just a face if your true colors came out and trust me, I don’t want to be part of this pantomime.” Asfand knew his words were hitting home he took longer to respond back. “I say you let her deal with Afroz and Anser because in her eyes, they are the only one left of the people who killed her family. It’s a win win situation to us no matter how you look at it.”
“How are you so sure that she doesn’t know or won’t try to find out?”
“Because I am standing in her way.” Asfand looked out of the window and at the rain that was slashing against it. “I want Globaviations and that will only happen if she stays oblivious. Dua will never know the truth because I won’t let her. The longer she wanders in the darkness, the more profitable it is for me.”
“I’m counting on you Asfandyar. I’m counting on the thought that you are the same man that even forsake his own blood for-”
“Whatever” Asfand ended the call and threw his phone on the table. “Fucking old foul. You won’t let it go just like that.” He didn’t want to put it this way but there was no other choice.
Asfand was sick of everything and above all, he was done seeing her vulnerable. It’s not like he suddenly came to care. He was not that kind to change overnight for a single woman. Whatever he was feeling at the moment was temporary. And once he will be done thoroughly, she won’t matter anymore.
All that he was doing or will do was for his own peace of mind. Asfand was going to do whatever the fuck worked to keep her out of the mess and her out of his head and ways. Asfand didn’t want any weakness.
At any cost.
“We got the first piece of puzzle Xian. You know what you have to do.” Dua removed the earpiece and leaned against the wall. She didn’t feel anything after hearing all that. If any, she felt emptier than before. There was no anger or hatred, just hollowness. “So, he knew” She whispered to herself. Seconds stretched to minutes but she stayed glued to where he left her.
Where he left her?
The door opened and Asfand walked inside. His frown turned to scowl when he saw Dua standing against the wall with blank expressions. But before he could have asked or understood them, Dua came to him.
“Wha-” Dua grabbed hold of his face and pulled him down. Asfand was completely thrown off guard when she kissed him fervently and above all when she let the sheer fabric fell off her body so boldly. His mind couldn’t comprehend the reason behind her actions. Nor did Dua gave him any chance to ponder over her actions. She pushed her naked body into his and deepened the kiss until she felt Asfand respond back.
“You are right” She whispered seductively while looking in his now lust filled eyes. “Let’s do this.” She grabbed his hands and put them over her hips. “Let’s be enemies with benefits.”