Doctor and Patient
A young man sat in a large cushioned leather chair. The arm rest lightly used as countless hands picked at the buttons that lined the seams of the chair. The cushions rather formed yet comforting despite the many people who sat in that same spot with a personal problem they could not face alone.
“Mr. Langwell, age twenty three foster child and survivor of abusive homes in the past. You are case number forty two for physic evaluation to receive emancipation enrollment. This is our thirteenth time meeting together as he begin to conclude the process.” An old balding thin man stated as he sat in a chair opposite of the man as he turned slightly to make it feel as though he was only observing and not conversing. A trick Langwell knew all to well from the prior visits.
“Today is a free by and I want you to talk about how you receive yourself to others. Try and dig deep and find what it is that makes you who you are.” The doctor stated as he pulled out a clipboard and a pocket watch to keep record. His leg crossing over the other to better stabilize the clipboard as he clicked his pen as it slowly touched the first blank page.”
“Well.. I smiled last night.” Langwell began as he took his eyes off of the doctor before lazily leaning his head back into the comfy leather chair and staring at the white ceiling. The sound of an air conditioner near an ajar window left the room buzzing as if waiting to hear more.
“It was a sensation I tend to refuse to do on occasion. It feels forced most of the time even fake regardless of how my face gleams with the excitement. The smile I normally do is but an illusion that covers such a lonely face, the exterior warm and greeting able to indulge is simply humanity. But my interior suffers and it speaks to me on so many levels. I have suppressed it so many times I wonder if I am two people sharing one body. A side of myself I force myself to neglect and push aside to try and be normal and fit in. Deep thought I suppose is the correct term. A concept or reverse side of a coin that gleams with what I want truly. Unsuppressed and unadulterated in its purest form. I force myself doc, to lower myself to think simply and act simply to fit in. Maybe I was never meant to fit in? Maybe I need to embrace this loneliness?” Langwell stated in an almost directed and rehearsed fashion were none the wiser to the man’s clear intellect and brilliance.
“I see, and what makes you think embracing a negative aspect like loneliness is good for you?” The doctor asked as he continued to write on the clipboard seeming unphased by the mans long but quick remarks.
“Well…” Began Langwell. “Happiness is the only currency in this world worth mentioning, and how we achieve it is up to us to decide. Should our brain chemistry make us delight in the pain of others then who are we to judge to stop them were it not to protect the worlds population. What makes them any different form people pursuing happiness by saving others? Key word there is none. The only thing that truly keeps them similar is loneliness. And it’s with loneliness that you can find your true self and learn to love you for who you truly are.”
The doctor simply nodded as he raised an eyebrow before letting out a deep sigh as he scribbled away on his clipboard. The scraping of the pen’s edge would have given anxiety to any one in the room with the soft roar of an air conditioner. But not Langwell. There was something off about that man.
“Is that what you concluded when the police found you mutilating a sheep’s body?” The doctor asked as he stopped scribbling with his pen and turned to look at the stop watch in his other hand. Langwell simply sat there his expression blank his light blue eyes an almost grey that would unsettle anyone.
“It has been five years doctor simply you know my case better than anyone. You should know that sheep was dead and I happened to be investigating it.” Langwell retorted in a benign but forceful manner as he slowly moved his head forward to look towards the doctor with a wry smile forming over his lips.
“Indeed, so you have stated despite the accounts documented against you.” The doctor stated as he clicked his pen and put it into his pocket before slowly moving his face to finally make eye contact with the teen.” His face tired and expressionless as though his job was tiresome and seeing the same man for over five years at the hospital has had him grown weary.
“Let us assume if what you say is true, are you fit to assimilate into society?” The doctor asked as he drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair pondering what Langwell would retort with next.
“If my goal of happiness includes a step into assimilating into society I do not see why not.” Langwell slowly and deliberately explained never breaking eye contact with the doctor.
The doctor looked towards the floor then back to Langwell taking in the white uniform he was forced to wear. His clean appearance and proper manners and aura made the atmosphere unnerving, but it did not phase the old doctor. In fact, he relished in unusual cases of individual being thrown into trauma and forced to grow up quick.
“What if I told you that to assimilate into society would require you to confessing to animal abuse and accepting the consequence it would receive.” The doctor asked as he tapped his chin pondering.
“Why doctor, even if I did fess to such an absurd story would that not remove my ability to as you will.. assimilate into society?” Langwell asked as he slowly cocked his head to the side his white teeth flashing into a wry quick smile.
The doctor let out a sigh as he closed his eyes before reaching behind him to press a small red button on his desk. A low audible beep could be heard outside the office door as two strong bulking men dressed in white staff outfits walked in promptly.
“This concludes our thirteenth evaluation Langwell.” The doctor stated as he nodded to the two men.
“And as always doctor it is a pleasure talking with you.” Langwell stated as the guards stood side by side of his chair waiting for him to stand to escort him back out. A smile still etched over his face as he lowered his head walking proper and proud. As if knowing the doctor was at a dilemma and needed to face reality eventually if not immediately.
The doctor watched as Langwell exited the doors as they closed behind him with a soft thud as a small click could be heard as the door mechanism closed. Letting out a burst of air and breathing in quickly he pulled out his handkerchief and patted his sweaty temples. Looking down at the clipboard he realized the only words written over and over again.
It was not me
It was not me
It was not me
While outside the door Langwell turned and smiled as he put on his white coat and pulled out a clipboard and a pen. A light of hope shined in his eyes as he hoped this unique style of treatment could break the mad doctor out of his psychosis. Looking to the other staff men he nodded as they locked the room leaving the mad old doctor to his ramblings. His hands shaking as he dropped the clipboard to the ground as a small glimmer of reality struck him. As if noticing for the first time in thirty years he was the patient not the doctor.
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