I feel the darkness reaching for me,
Calling to me like an old friend.
Should I give in?
I turn away, ignoring it,
How much longer I know not.
Soon I know I will,
Welcome the darkness into
My heart and soul.
“So what do you think?”
“It’s beautiful I love it.”
Emma twisted her head to look into her boyfriend Jayce’s eyes. He had his arms wrapped around her. She sat back against his chest between his legs. She sat her notebook beside them.
“Really? Are you sure? I thought it was dumb.”
“Yes, I really do like it. It speaks to me. I can feel your struggle. I thought you were getting better?”
“Some days are better than others. It’s just so hard Jayce, to ignore the urge.”
“I know baby. As long as I am here I will help you fight. You’re not alone in this struggle. I can’t lose you. I love you, Emma.”
Jayce leaned down to kiss Emma while hugging her close to him. This was the only time she felt safe when he was around. Jayce intensified the kiss, while at the same time rolling her onto the bed. He ran a hand down her body and felt her shiver.
“EMMA! Where the fuck are you? You better fucking be here girl! Where’s my supper? EMMA!” A slurred voice yelled.
Emma shoved Jayce off her, her eyes going wide with fear. “Fuck he’s home early. You need to leave.” She told Jayce.
“Fuck him. He can’t talk to you like that. I’m not going anywhere. Besides, he is not even your real father.”
“Please Jayce, just go. Remember what happened last time.” Emma said as she heard footsteps coming down the hall.
Jayce ran a hand through his long dark hair and sighed. “Ok, Ok. Call me if you need me ok? Promise me.” Jayce said as he half climbed out of her window.
“I promise, now go,” Emma said as she shoved him out of the window Just as her stepfather burst through her door.
His face was red with anger, eyes bloodshot. Emma could smell the alcohol on him. It only took a few steps across her small room to reach her. He grabbed her wrist and twisted it, while at the same time he pulled her hair. Emma cried out in pain. He brought his face close to hers. She had to fight back the urge to puke as the stench of his breath enter her nostrils.
“Didn’t you hear me girl? When I call for you, you answer. Ya, hear me?”
He let go of her hair and took a step back, still holding on to her wrist. Her stepfather looked her up and down. A smile began to spread across his face. A look came into his eyes that terrified Emma. A similar look That had been in Jayce’s eyes while they fooled around, His was full of love and desire. Her stepfathers showed pure lust.
He reached for hair again. Out of instinct, Emma jerked away from his hand. He pulled her to him and caught a few strands of her purple hair between his fingers.
“You are becoming quite a beautiful young woman. Are you still a virgin?” He slurred.
Emma started to panic. She felt like she couldn’t move and a lump had formed in her throat. Her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. “Answer me.” He yelled at her, spraying her face with spit. Emma tried to swallow the lump and managed to squeak out a “yes.”
“And why is that? Are you not a whore like your mother? I think your lying. I have heard talk around town about you.”
“It’s lies. I have never had sex. I’m...I’m not ready.”
“Are you sure that’s it? Maybe you’re just waiting for a man to show you how it's done instead of that boy you’re always fooling around with.”
Emma started shaking her head and saying I’m not ready over and over. She closed her eyes wishing him away. She felt her knees hit her bed, the force knocked her onto the bed. Emma popped her eyes open in shock, she hadn’t felt herself moving. Her eyes went big as she stared at the bulge in her stepfather's pants.
Emma darted her eyes up to his grinning face. “Like what you see?” He asked. Emma shook her head no, no longer able to form words around the lump. “I think you do.” He crushed his lips roughly to hers. The taste of alcohol and stale cigarettes entered her mouth. Out of instinct, she bit his lower lip. Her stepfather jerked back, crying out in pain. He backhanded her, the force knocking her onto her bed.
“Fucking little cunt.” He said as he wiped the blood from his lip. “How dare you disrespect me like that. I could have let the state have you when your mother ran out on us, but I didn’t. I raised you, clothed you, fed you and you will pay me back any way I see fit.” He told her as he undid his belt and pants.
Emma’s eyes darted around her room looking for any kind of escape. Her eye fell on her window. Jayce was standing there, watching everything. She saw the pure rage on his face, His whole body shook and his hands were clenched into fists. “Please don’t.” She told him.
“I will do whatever I want with you. I own you until you pay me back.”
Emma’s step father’s back was to the window. He thought Emma was talking to him, He did not know Jayce was standing there watching. Emma did not want to see Jayce hurt again. The last time Jayce and her stepfather got into a fight Jayce wound up with a broken arm and wrist. Jayce moved closer to the window. “No!” Emma yelled at him.
“Time to start paying back what you owe.” Her stepfather said.
Her stepfather attacked her neck with his mouth. Emma struggled against him, screaming and clawing at him. He grabbed her other hand and pinned it down with the other one. He pulled up her shirt and bra and put his mouth around her nipple and bite down on it. Emma screamed in pain as she fought under his weight. He moved his hand down to her black cargo pants and started to undo them with his free hand. He adjusted his weight to pull them off. He lifted his head briefly to move back to her neck.
“Get the fuck off her!” Jayce yelled as he slammed a book across Her stepfather's face. The force of the blow and the alcohol knocked him onto the floor. Blood poured from his nose. He looked at Jayce with murder in his eyes. “Boy, When I get my hands on you I’m going to fucking kill you.” He said as he wiped the blood from his nose and used Emma’s bed to stand. “RUN!” Emma yelled at Jayce.