I stormed up to my room and slammed the door behind me. The audacity of that man. How could he be mad at me? I don’t understand what the fuck he wanted from me. So what if I am a virgin, hell, at least I’m clean. I started to pace back and forth in my room. Jensen had me so fucked up right now. I have never found a man that could be so frustrating all the time, but yet there was something there that made me want him. I sat on the bed and kicked my shoes off then laid back.
No, you know what, I am going to march right down there and find out what the fuck his problem is. He can’t just fucking come on to me like that, then push me away. I am not just some stupid whore, he can play with. I stormed out of my room and down the stairs. I heard noises coming from the kitchen, so I walked that way. I opened the door and was about to let him have it when I saw them. What the fuck? I saw Jensen with some whore bent over the kitchen counter. Her legs wrapped around him as he was thrusting in and out of her, hard. “Yes Jensen, harder baby.” Oh, so he knows this bitch.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I said as loud as I could. Jensen pushed off of her and she fell to the ground.
“Lynn, what the fuck are you doing down here?”
I saw red at first. “First of all, this is a public area, second of all who the fuck do you think you are? You don’t dare get to be pissed at me. You have no right. You came on to me first. Then what, got pissed because I wasn’t a big enough whore for you. Fuck You, Jensen!” I turned to leave but he grabbed my wrist.
“Where are you going? I am not done talking to you yet.” I pushed him away from me.
“We are way past talking. Go fuck your whore.” I saw the woman standing up.
“What the fuck did you just call me bitch?” She said as she started to come for me. Oh hell no, this bitch is about to get knocked the fuck out.
“I called you a whore sweetie. Now go fuck yourself.” That really pissed her off, because she tried to jump at me, but Jensen caught her mid-air by the throat.
Fuck them both. I took the distraction and ran up to my room as I heard him tell her to leave. I closed and locked the door behind me. I started to pack my shit, I wasn’t going to stay here anymore. I didn’t care who the fuck was after me. I was putting my clothes in my bag when I heard banging at my door. “Lynn, open the fucking door.” I laughed. He has got me fucked up if he thinks I am opening that door.
“Go the fuck away Jensen I have nothing to say to you.” His banging on the door got more intense.
“I swear to god if you don’t open this door woman I am going to break it down. ” He hollered.
“So break it the fuck down because I am not opening it.” I hissed at him standing by my bed. There was nothing at first then the door flew open and there he stood. His eyes were dark and I could see the anger and frustration on his face.
“What the fuck do you think you are doing Lynn? Don’t ever walk away from me when I am talking to you.” He started to walk over to me, but I stepped back as far as I could.
“Talk about what Jensen? How you came on to me then when I tell you I am a virgin, you leave and then find some whore to fuck. I am sorry, I am not a whore so go fuck yours.” He closed the gap between us and I had nowhere to go.
“Do you really think that is why I didn’t take you tonight?” His eyes were still dark but his anger had seemed to fade, now I saw the lust again. He tried to touch my cheek, but I turned my head away from him. He grabbed my chin and smashed his lips into mine as he pushed me against the wall. I tried to push him away from me at first, but then I gave up. I wanted to be pissed, I should be mad, but my lust for him overpowered my body. He pulled away from me and whispered in my ear. “I’m not right for you Lynn. That is why I am not going to take your innocence.” With that he turned and walked away again, leaving me breathless. He stopped at the door. “Unpack that bag Lynn, you are not going anywhere.” Then he left. Holy shit, this man has me going in so many directions I don’t know what to do. I did know that I needed him and I really didn’t want to leave anyway so I started putting my clothes back.
What was happening to me? I actually felt bad that Lynn had caught me with Aliyah. When I saw her standing there looking at us, I immediately felt regret. The look in her eyes was of hurt and then full of anger. How could I be so stupid? I had tried to explain myself, but she wasn’t having any of it. Then when she refused to let me in the room I lost it. I broke the door open and saw her eyes full of tears and it broke me. I never wanted to hurt her, I just knew that I was not good for her. I had to tell her that, but I also needed to feel her lips against mine again. I grabbed her and smashed my lips to hers. She tried to fight me off at first, but her body gave in. After I kissed her and told her I was no good for her I left the room. Now I stood in the hallway for a minute listening to her in her room, hoping she would give me a sign that I was forgiven. Then I heard her dresser drawers open and shut and I knew we were okay, for now. That’s when I heard Aliyah downstairs yelling. I sighed and walked back downstairs.
Jacob was standing in the kitchen trying to get Aliyah to leave still. “I am not going anywhere until he comes and talks to me. So, you just go tell Jensen to get his ass down here.” I walked into the kitchen and stood in the doorway. This woman was a pain in the ass and I shouldn’t have called her.
“Get the fuck out Aliyah. I am done with you.” She stared at me in disbelief.
“Are you fucking with me, Jensen? You called me, then when that bitch came in here you change your mind. Who the fuck is she, your new fuck buddy.” I glared at her, the anger rising to the surface. Then I walked over to her and grabbed her by her hair. As she screamed and struggled I dragged her to the front door and threw her out the door.
“Who she is to me is none of your concern. I told you I don’t do relationships. You crossed the line. If you ever come back here again I will kill you. Now go, and lose my number, bitch.” I slammed the door and radioed for Dillion, who was outside, to make sure she left the premises.
I went back upstairs and headed to my room. As I walked by Lynn’s door it was cracked open since I broke it. I looked in and saw her laying on her bed. I could hear her softly crying in her pillow, but I didn’t want to upset her more. I have never been able to handle a woman crying, and she was making sure that I regretted hurting her. I stood there silently. It took everything in me to not go and try to comfort her. She was making me soft and I knew that I couldn’t allow that. Finally, she fell asleep, but I couldn’t help but watch her. What was this woman doing to me? Right now, as I stood there watching her all I wanted to do was feel her body against mine, but I knew that I was not right for her. She deserved someone who could get her out of this life and keep her safe. If she stayed with me she would never be safe and I would just lose her like I lost my Catherine.
I started to turn to leave when she stirred in her bed mumbling something. “Please, I am sorry. I wanted to do more, but I couldn’t. He would have killed me.” She was having a nightmare. Again the overwhelming sensation to run to her side and hold her came over me, but I didn’t. I stood there for another minute when I heard her say it. “Catherine, I am sorry.” She was having a dream about Catherine. Did she blame herself to? I guess I wasn’t helping with that. Damn it, Jensen, you are an asshole. I turned and went to my room making a mental note to get her door fixed in the morning. Once I was in my room, I changed into my shorts and laid on the bed staring at the ceiling. I needed to fix this. I never should have blamed her for anything. It wasn’t her fault at all, it was mine. I didn’t know how I was going to fix it, but I did know that time was ticking and I still had no idea how I was going to handle Joseph and get Lynn safe enough so she can move on with her life. I just wish I knew why he was after her. I finally drifted off to sleep, but I had the nightmare again. This time it was different though and not in a good way.
I could see her smile as she ran towards me with her arms open. Then right before she reaches me I hear a gunshot and saw her stop in front of me. She looked at me holding her abdomen. She pulled her hand up and it was covered in blood. She fell to the ground and I caught her just before her head hit the concrete. Her smile faded and now the only look was that of fear. As I held her I could feel her growing colder and then I looked down at her. She looked up at me in pain, but this time it wasn’t my Catherine. “Why Jensen, why did you let me die?” I tried to speak, but nothing came out. “I loved you so much and you just let them kill me.” I could feel her skin as it turned cold under my hand.
Finally, I managed a whisper. “No, my love I’m sorry. I tried to stop them. Please come back to me.” When I looked down her eyes were closed and her body had turned into a rotten corpse. I started to pull away from her but a cold and boney hand grabbed my arm.
“You couldn’t save me Jensen and now you won’t save her either.” Her boney finger pointed up and as I followed it I saw her. Lynn, stood there staring at me with her eyes wide as someone else held her. It was Joseph, standing behind her. Then she cried in pain and fell to the floor with a knife in her back.
“Nooo!” I cried out.
Again I woke up in a sweat, but this time I had screamed out. “Nooo!” I sat up in bed and immediately got out of it. I jumped up and ran to Lynn’s room. I crept open the door, trying not to wake her and walked slowly in. She was fast asleep in her bed and didn’t even budge when I came in. I looked around her room but saw nothing. I walked back over to her and stood by her bed looking down at her. “Don’t worry Lynn, I swear to you I won’t let him get you.” I couldn’t bring myself to leave her room so I pulled up a chair and sat it next to her bed. She was so angry at me earlier that I couldn’t help but wonder what her reaction would be when she woke up in the morning. I didn’t care though, it made me feel better to be in here next to her. I laid my head back against the chair and fell asleep. This time I slept the rest of the night.