I slam the door behind me as I walk into the house. I dropped my keys anywhere, because no matter what, they will always end up in the fruit bowl. I walk into my room trying to process. Even though I seemed calm at Tyler’s, I actually held back.
I have so much concerns now, I though summer camp might ruin our friendship but this is something beyond me. I don’t like not being in control and I feel like everything around me is quickly changing. First my dad, thank god he’s gone. Then my mom got her new job at the hospital so she’s rearly home, and now Tyler! I just wish the world would stop spinning so fast, just enough for me to catch up.
I lay in my bed, to lazy to change clothes, I just strip into my underwear and hopped in bed. Maybe a good nights sleep will give me time to breathe. I lay on my back staring at the ceiling, replaying all the events of the day in my head, until I finally went to sleep.
“Mom, are you up?” I say going down the stairs while trying to wake up with every step.
“Yeah, just making breakfast,” she said annoyingly energetic.
I look down at the plate of egg, sausage, and waffles and then back up at my mom. I can tell she’s worried about something, and she doesn’t want to tell me. She always cooks when she’s upset, And it’s always my favorite stuff when it has to do with me. “Mom, what’s wrong,” I say as my favorite breakfast mocks me.
“Nothing,” she says as she scrabbles another egg, “what makes you think something’s wrong.” She turns and and looks at me. I look at my plate and back at her. “Oh,” she said. “ I can assure you everything is fine.” As she turns back to check on her food.
I don’t believe her but I can tell she doesn’t want to talk about it so I change the subject, “ mom, how did you know about Tyler.”
“ Well his mom of course,” she said while tending to the sausage.
“His mom?” I said surprised
“Yeah his mom, why does that surprise you” she said with and attitude.
“It’s just I didn’t know you guys talked about stuff like that, “ I said while poking at my food, “ when did she tell you?”
“I don’t know, chase it’s not really that important, if it was, you would have asked Tyler’s mom youself, so why don’t you SHUT UP ABOUT IT,” she bagged the pan almost knocking the food all over. The spoon she was using fell on the floor and she picked it up red and embarrassed.
“Look mom, I don’t know what’s bothering you but, you don’t have to take it out on me ‘cause that makes you no better then-,” I looked at her and she was nearly in tears. “Just talk to me mom, maybe I can help.” I walk over and gave her a hug.
“ I don’t want you to get involved, not until you need to,” she wiped of her tear and picked herself up with a huge smile, “Now! What’s your plans for today.”
“I’m just gonna go to Tyler’s,is that okay.”
“Okay, just text me if your gonna be late this time.”
“I will,” I grabbed my keys from the fruit bowl, “and mom.”
“I love you!”
“ I love you too.” I can tell this made her feel better, her vibe was very different when I left. But my mom is the type of person who fights her battles alone. Despite only being 5’6” she is the strongest person I know.
“She’s drinking again,” I say to Tyler as he beats me in 2k for the fifth time in a row.
“ How do you know?”
“ I can smell it on her, before I came here.” He looked at me with concern, “ and I don’t like to be with her when she’s like that.”
“ Well you know my doors are always open,” he says as he starts a new game.
“ Yeah, but I just wanna know what is driving her to do so, I haven’t seen her like this since, well you know.”
“So ask her about it.”
“ I did, well I tried, but you know how she is, she already difficult sober, but right now she’s impossible.” I put down the controller and sigh heavily. “I just feel useless right now .”
Tyler looked at me and smiled, “Your not useless,” he says while giving me a friendly and semi painfull punch on the arm. “Hey, your giving me a big confidence boost with all these wins.” He said with a big smerk.
“Oh yeah, well that won’t last for long,” I grab my controller and continued the game, and for a good moment the world stopped, and I finally caught up.
But only for a moment.