I first noticed him when I passed by the hallway to the faculty office. I was cradling a bunch of papers when from the corner of my eye, I caught a glance of a figure right outside the window. I stopped and turned to that direction and then I saw him.
His chocolate kissed hair was swaying with the wind. His eyes were closed. He was leaning on the trunk with his arm on his knee. He was sleeping so soundly I couldn't help myself but stare at him.
And then slowly, his eyes opened and to my surprise, he looked my way. He had beautiful green eyes and as he smiled at me, I knew from that moment on I had fallen.
Then I found out what his name was because I'd always hear the girls in class or even in the hallways talk about him and giggle about him.
From that point on, I still did what I usually would do. I did not try to catch his attention—I mean, he was already receiving a lot of those so I figured he wouldn't need mine. One afternoon, the meeting for the school festival had ended and I was on my way to the classroom when I heard his voice. I followed it and found myself peeking at a confession.
I was embarrassed of myself but I couldn't help but feel envious of the girl who stood before him for having the courage to confess. But he kindly turned her down. I've never seen a rejection done so gently though I know it would still hurt if I were in the girl's shoe but he said, "If it's not too much for you, I could still be your friend, you know. I'm just...I don't think I am ready to be in a relationship, yet. I'm really sorry..."
I turned away and made my way back into the classroom. My heart was beating at a fast pace back then because I, somehow, wanted to confess to him, too.
For two years, I'd only just watched him. Though sometimes he catches me looking at him, nothing else ever happened until that day he'd approached me.
And he actually knew my name.
"Found you, A-ka-ne."
I looked up at the boy before me. I'd only been watching him from a distance before and now that he's finally recognized my feelings for him, now that my wish has finally come true—why do I have this feeling of regret throughout my whole being?
"Why me...?" I uttered without even thinking.
"What do you mean?"
I looked up at him and met his gaze, "Why did you fall in-love with me, Naoki? Of all the girls in this school, why me? I barely even exist to some."
His smile faded from his face and I inhaled sharply when he'd suddenly crouched so we'd be face to face. He leaned his arm on his knee and leaned his chin on his palm. "Didn't I already tell you?" Then he tilted his head to the side, "When I saw you there by the window with your eyes closed as if you were making a wish, I couldn't stop the urge to approach you. I've noticed how you'd steal glances but when I saw you that day," he shrugged, "that was it."
When I didn't answer, he grabbed me by the arm. He stood up and pulled me up. I couldn't resist. I was scared. He's genuine love for me had turned into something monstrous. "Why are you like this?"
He looked at me, "What?"
"Why would you kill people out of jealousy and anger, Naoki? What turned you into this...this kind of..." I looked at him and his eyes reflected pain, as if he'd been rejected by the most important person in his life.
"You'd call me a monster, too, is that it?"
His grip on my arm tightened as he hissed between gritted teeth, "Just like everyone else, after learning about this part of me, you're gonna reject me, too?" Then he looked up as his voice rose, "You're no different from them!!!"
To my surprise, he had pulled me only to throw me to the floor. I pushed myself up using my elbow and looked up at him. He was towering above me and he looked really angry, "I-I didn't say anything like that!!!"
"That's what your actions are telling me!!" He swung the baseball bat and it hit the desk near him. "You are just like everybody else!! I should have known! You only thought you loved me because of the image you had in your head about me!! Now that I'm actually someone like this you're gonna reject me!!!" He was yelling and the room shook. "I should have known, Akane!" He was furious and a second after, his expression, from being angry had slowly shifted into an expression that bore pain.
"You're just like..." then he looked at me with those green eyes of his filled with grief and pain. "...everybody else..." He fell on his knees and his shoulders dropped. He'd also dropped the baseball bat and it clanged as it fell on the floor. "I wanted you to be different than them... I thought you were..."
I attempted to stand up and comfort him when he'd suddenly raised his head and his eyes were clear now. He picked the baseball bat up and stood up as he approached me, "But since you're no different from them, I shouldn't treat you like you're someone special, either."
I screamed the moment he'd grabbed me by my hair and dragged me towards the door. I struggled to break free, kicking and screaming. I tried to get his hand off of my hair but his grip was too tight. My hair roots feel like they're on fire and my scalp seems as if it's gonna rip off from my head any moment now. Tears fell one after another.
Who is this person right now? Who is he?
I tried to grab on to whatever I could get my hands on. I tried to force myself up but it was no use, I couldn't push myself up. When I felt that Naoki had somehow stopped and his grip on my hair had loosened, I pulled him by the arm and he must've been caught off-guard because he nearly fell on me. Good thing I had avoided him. I pushed myself up and as I tried to run, he'd grabbed me by the ankle and I fell back on the floor and hit my chin. I rolled over and kicked him but it was no use. His grip on my ankle just tightened.
"Mirai," he said in a deep voice as he'd sat up, pulled me by my ankle and he raised his arm that was holding the bat. He glared at me as a smile crept on his lips, "Be a good girl and stay still."
As he swung the baseball bat, I shut my eyes close and waited for the blow. Truth be told, I had no other choice now. Naoki was already beyond reasoning.