It was late. The windows were open letting the wind come harass me. It’s not that the cold bothers me it’s just annoying when I’m alone. A cold night gives me a reason to snuggle under a blanket with Hollyhock. This night, however, was a night full of anger, name-calling, blood, and teeth.
Ixora and I were sitting on our bed, both of us wanting to say something both of us inevitably staying quiet. I had sweat pants on; I didn’t bother putting anything to cover my bare chest. The silence was beginning to get deafening and I just had to open my mouth and speak. I caught her eyeing me, her eyes darting from my face to my chest then to my thighs and back to my face. I smirked seeing as blood began to color her ears. “Like what you see?” I asked.
“Mhm.” She laid down on our black bedsheets. She lifted her torso off the bed, taking off her shirt and tossing it onto the floor. “What about you?” Like what you see?”
My breath hitched as I looked at the beautiful blonde woman in front of me. She laid back down, letting me hover over her and place my forehead against her. They weren’t silicone monstrosities. They were small and soft which perfectly matched her petite body. Her hands gripped my hips. One touch and I was already drunk. The intoxication was instant. At that moment I wasn’t wearing the mask I wear to face the world. The facade fell away and all I wanted to do was fuck her brains out.
Our lips brushed in a way that was anything but innocent. My senses were seduced by something other than the sweet smell of blood. Before anything else could happen I pulled away, emitting a whine from her in the process. I reached into my pocket, pulling out what I had wanted to talk about before things escalated. I held it with my thumb and index finger; a look of disgust was plastered onto her face as she looked at me with disgust. “What the hell is that?” she asked.
“It’s one of Bonnie’s incisors. No doubt Cameron was the one who loosened it.”
“CARE TO EXPLAIN WHY YOU HAVE ONE OF BONNIE’S FUCKING TEETH?”
“It fell out when I drove her to her house. I’ve been meaning to tell you about it.”
“Alright. THEN WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT GLASS BOTTLE?”
“When you read the letter what did you think it was?”
“It’s not what you think.” That answer didn’t seem to satisfy her.”
“You just love screwing with me don’t you?”
“That’s not my name. Just like my name isn’t Rose, or Tulip, or Sunflower. But you’d know all about changing names, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you, Ineun Salam?”
“Don’t you ever call me that again.” The whole sexiness was entirely ruined at that point. Before I continue let’s go back in time a few years. I don’t know if everyone’s high school experience was bad but mine was absolutely mortifying. Gossip echoed throughout the halls, laughter and some scoffs followed. I kept my head down most of the time, not that anyone noticed. My name was something that made me resent my parents. My name made teachers look at me differently. I swore to myself I’d never let it reflect on my character. Look how good that turned out.
“Why shouldn’t I? I think it suits you. Your parents must’ve known what they were doing because this defines exactly who you are.”
“Babe. Your ass is grass too. You have just as much blood on your hands.”
She licked her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re right.” She got up and put on a pair of shoes. “I have a shit ton of blood on my hands.” The sound of her steps didn’t get quieter as she got farther away from me. I followed her; I put on a shirt unlike her. We were right at the door, wind forming goosebumps on her skin. She turned to me, looking at me like I just crashed her car. “Let’s go put some more blood on my hands.”
I followed into her car, not bothering to put on my seatbelt. She drove quickly and carelessly. “Baby, could you please calm down?”
“I don’t think I can. Why don’t you help me with that? Fucking sedate me.”
The drive to the park didn’t take too long. Especially since she sped through ever stop sign we came across. We parked the car next to a playground. The color was drained from the cheap colorful swings. Clouds covered the stars leaving me with nothing to see but a black pigment when I look at the sky.
Her shoes were pink. A light pink that matched the wired fabric covering the thing that causes indecency. “Please let’s talk about this,” I said. It was more of a plead really. She was walking really fast. I swear she burned the ground she stepped on. “Why drive here anyway?”
Swiftly she swung around, pivoting on her heel and slapping me across my face. I suppressed the urge to touch the redness on my skin. “You don’t get it, do you? My life was so simple before I met you. Never once in my life did I ever imagine myself being tied to someone like you. But I can’t leave. Because you’re right. My ass is grass. And at this point, I don’t know what you’re intentions are. You keep contradicting yourself and I’m sick of it.”
I noticed someone running. We were standing on the grass with the path a few inches away from us. It was oh so very random. A woman in maybe her early thirties jogged past us; Kalmia reached into her bra, taking out a switchblade. The first emotion I felt was confusion. She got in front of her, grabbing her by the hair and jabbing the blade into her carotid artery. She pulled it out which resulted in blood pouring out.
“WHAT THE HELL?”
“THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED RIGHT? YOU WANT ME TO BE MORE INVOLVED.” Giant gasping breaths were irritating me. Thankfully my girl took matters into her own hands. The blade made a long cut along the front of her neck. The tip of the sharp silver metal went straight through her neck with the help of her rage. Blood was pouring out, landing on our skin and clothes.
“We should go before someone sees us.” I tried pulling her off the body but she resisted.
“Give me a minute.” She pushed her head onto the ground; the blunt sound was followed by a loud crack. “Since you seem to like teeth so much.” She drove the knife into her gums. Blood pooled in her mouth as she carved out the root. That’s where I thought she’d stop but no. Oh fucking no. A few lateral incisors and one central incisor later she finally stopped.
“You keep a fucking knife in there? You were going to let me rip that off of you?”
“Shut up,” she snarled. She grabbed my wrist and dropped the teeth into my palm. The grass was wet. Water and blood and nervous sweat soaked the grass and the path. The two of us ran to the car, quickly getting in and stopping to steady our breathing. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It was really hot.”
“It was reckless. I-I don’t even know her name. What if she’s a mother of four with a nice husband and two dogs? What if she didn’t deserve this? For all, we know she’s pure. No sins to be punished for. ”
“Still. It was really hot.” The sticky crimson liquid was starting to stain the car. “We need to clean this mess up.” Lilac started the car and drove off. I faintly heard the sirens. There wasn’t much screaming; there was a lot of arguing and depending on your perspective maybe you could say it was screaming. But it wasn’t like the screams I’m used too.
We got home. There was a vacant look on her face like she saw someone die. The look was a sign of guilt and there was no room for it. I pulled her into the bedroom and stripped her of any clothing covering her skin. I did the same thing to myself and I pulled her onto me. I sat on the bed, my hands touching her hips and her hands grabbing my neck. “Don’t let this get to you. Think back to about two years ago. Think about how good it felt to rip her heart out.”
Tension grew in her face in limbs. Tears streamed down her face as her breathing became shallow. “This will pass,” I said sternly. “You’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.” She didn’t seem to be stabilizing. We have a diffuser. I got her off of my lap and laid her down on the bed. The scent of Lavander filled the room; I’m not the biggest fan of the scent but it’s been helpful. I sat her up. “Please try to focus on your breathing.”
She was trying. I know she was. “Okay just focus. Look at me. I’m right here.” Her breathing was less rapid but I could tell she was still distress. I picked her up and took her into the bathroom. I sat her on the counter and turned on the shower. “It’s going to feel cold but please focus on your breathing.” She gasped when the water hit her. I grabbed her shoulder with my right hand and cupped her cheek with my left one. I pressed my lips against hers for a moment. Her breathing stilled and reset.
When I pulled apart I noticed that she was still crying. But at least her breathing was a little more normal. “I arise from dreams of thee. In the first sweet sleep of night. When breathing winds are breathing low. And the stars are shining bright. I arise from dreams of thee. And a spirit in my feet. Has led me - who knows how? To thy chamber-window, sweet!”
She buried her face into the crook of my neck. She wrapped her arms around my back, her nails digging into my skin but I didn’t mind. I had no right to think of myself. “Keep going,” she whispered. That poem is engraved into my memory. I Arise from Dreams of Thee by Percy Bysshe Shelley. Such a nice blurb of words.
“The wanderings airs they faint. On the dark, the silent stream. The champak odors fall. Like sweet thoughts in a dream.The nightingale’s complaint. It dies upon her heart. As I must die on thine.”
I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. Again I placed her onto the counter. I grabbed a towel and dried her hair. The drops of water falling from her face were no longer tears. I rubbed the towel against her skin. Once I was done I grabbed another towel and dried myself. I took her to the room and placed her onto the bed. It wasn’t difficult to dress her in pajamas. She was more lucid (for lack of a better word.) The tow of us laid down together, her face nuzzling into my chest. “O, beloved as thou art. O, lift me from the grass. I die, I faint, I fall. Let thy love in kisses in rain. On my lips and eyelids pale. My cheek is cold and white, alas. My heart beats loud and fast.” Not a day goes by that I don’t say that poem at least in my head.
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