Another bullshit day. Got back from church and got bitched at by him again. I don't even know why he makes me go. Fuck him.
This dumb fuck makes me want to kill myself and he doesn't even realize it. I reach over to my bedside table and grab my pill bottle. May as well have a little nap. I take out a pill and grab my water bottle. The pill goes down like butter and it feels awesome. I love abusing my medication. I mean, I see no reason not to.
I toss the bottle across the room before reaching into my bedside drawer and getting my pencil sharpener. The excitement makes me shake as I wait for the sweet relief of my blade. I drop the sharpener trying to get it open. Fuck man I can't do anything right, can I?
I pick it up and finally manage to get it open. I shake the blade into my hand and just look at it for a minute. This little piece of metal is my best friend; no no, my only friend. I have nobody in this world, but that's alright. All I need is this blade. I pick it up and hold it against my wrist. I take a deep breath before slicing through my skin once. It doesn't bleed at first, it never does. All is see is white flesh before the red seeps out through the sides. I just sit there and stare at it.
After a few long minutes, the blood has left a crimson trail down my arm and hand. Fuck, I don't have the motivation to clean this shit. The pill has started to take it's toll on my body and I lay down in bed. The last thing I feel is the air against my open wound before i close my eyes.