Outside the window
I am on my computer.
I am typing a message to a friend on social media asking how his married sister is doing.
Not because I want a piece, but because he was going off about how he believes she didn’t marry the right person.
I’m pretending to be interested in what my friend has to say, but I am not.
I wish he would cut to the point.
I sit here, naked, on my leather chair, and my ass begins to sweat and stick. I get visibly annoyed, because of the feeling that I could be overheating.
But it could be the copious amounts of vodka that I drank.
Regardless, it feels like it’s about high time I open the window to let a cold breeze in.
As I get up, my ass cheeks lift the chair about a couple of millimeters, because they were stuck to the leather from sitting on it for hours. No piss break, no fetching food. Nothing.
I struggle to open the window that is seemingly stuck to the frame, due to the winter cold, freezing everything shut, but I finally get a good grip and with a little force, open it.
Outside my window, squatting right here on the lightest snow at 3:18 am, is a short naked balding man trying to take a shit.
I am puzzled about the whole ordeal. Confused. I can’t even make out words.
I stand there in shock, asking myself why would a man be without clothes in the winter trying to take a shit in public, in the middle of a common area of some apartment building?
We lock eyes. My pupils meet his. His black, soulless, eyes.
He stares me down and cracks a smile like he’s glad he has an audience.
Before I could say anything, he introduced himself. Family name first, and then his given name.
I didn’t ask for this motherfucker’s name, but the way he introduced himself is as if I already knew him.
He didn’t seem too happy either, he was grinning like he had something to prove.
Like he knew something, something I didn’t know, but I should.
As if we had some sort of sick twisted inside joke, though I can’t remember it.
He stares at me even longer. Growing seemingly agitated since I am not picking up on the situation.
After all, I will probably never see anything like this ever again as long as I live.
He cautiously approaches my window, to which I have the urge to shut it closed out of fear, but curiosity has taken over the best of me.
Who the fuck is this guy?
He creeps up, looking worried and sad as if he wanted to seek my approval for something.
He presses his hands onto the windowsill, grips tightly, and hoists himself onto the edge and with his other hand, opens the window a little wider so he can fit his entire, naked body.
He drops onto my floor.
I officially have a trespasser. An intruder in my home.
I feel like I can at anytime murder this guy, and actually get away with the homicide.
He’s intruding for fuck’s sake!
I back away, my back meets the wall. I ask him, very calmly, “What do you want from me?”
He looks at me as if I am the one who invaded his personal place.
He points at me frantically, trying to convey his emotions into words, but is lost in anger.
Frowning and frothing at the mouth. Bubbles of saliva hanging off his lips.
What the fuck, me? What?
“You’re… a motherfucker”
“And you… fucked my mom…”
I’m at a loss for words right now. Apparently I fucked this old guy’s mom. I’m not into grandmothers. Fuck that. Of course, he’s got to be insane. Trying to shit outside in the middle of nowhere, entering my house, and then claiming I had sex with his mother, who is probably dead right now.
I took Japanese class when I was younger and that translates to father.
Apparently, I am his father. I don’t believe it for a second.
“I remember all... I remember everything..”
He’s about to tell me his life story.
Cut to a flashback, told by his perspective, where he narrates the fact that I had sex with a rather, frail, skinny Japanese girl and nutted inside her. I was pretty intoxicated at the time, so I wouldn’t have recalled doing such a thing, she also didn’t tell me about it either.
Our friend Nishi here is a time traveler. I had cum so hard inside this girl that I opened a portal to another dimension within her. It was like a black hole within a hole. The egg and Nishi, who was the fastest swimmer at the time, had gotten sucked in.
He was fertilized in a parallel universe.And he just wanted to come back and basically take a shit on my fucking lawn as a big fuck you.
Not for being there for him as a kid, but for REALLY not being there since he was in a completely different timeline.
Fuck, Nishi, I’m sorry.
My supposed son looks up at me with tears in his eyes and opens his arms, inviting me in for a hug.
Could this be it?
Could I make amends with my estranged son?
Or could he be lying to me?
But, why do I believe him?
I edge closer to Akio Nishi. I spread my arms and slowly brought him in for a warm, loving embrace.
A family, reunited. Nishi, if you really are my son, I apologize for everything I’ve done to you.
From now on, for the rest of your days, though it seems you won’t be around long enough.
I want to be there for you and be the best father I can be.
So be it, if you die of old age. A father should not see his son die before he, but as long as I am there for you on your deathbed, maybe you could forgive me for not being there for most of your life.
I hope you can forgive me, my son.
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