Sorry guys for the shortness of this chapter.
"Where did you find this? " I asked Ida who chose to disrupt my afternoon nap with an envelope or should I say a letter.
"Found it in the royal suite where the prince stayed while we were cleaning and assumed it would be for you"
"Because, my lady your name was scribbled on the edges of the envelope faintly" She stated and I collected it and dismissed her.
A letter addressed to me? I wondered. Could it be written by Troy. If then, why wasn't it given to me in person, and it's already been two weeks since they visited, unless, maybe he wasn't planning on giving me the letter.
Coward! I scoffed.
With that thought, I quickly checked the edges of the envelope, just as Ida said was my name, Aris faintly written by the sides. I tore the envelope open, revealing the letter, I sure missed Troy's hand writing. I smiled at the thought but soon became nervous when I didnt know what to expect from the letter.
The dream I had the day of the feast felt very real - and my only wish was that it would become a reality but i waited and kept waiting, yet nothing.
I longed for us to have that belated conversation, I understood I was mad at him but I knew I couldn't stay mad, so if only he tried to make an attempt to see me, I would have forgiven and forgotten.
My anxiety was getting the better part of me as my heart raced uncontrollably and my palms became sweaty. There was a hot blood rush along my upper abdomen as I opened the letter. My mouth slightly opened as I began to read.
I lack the words to say to you and it's been that way for months after I found out what you did. I hoped for it to be a lie but soon realized It wasnt. On that day, I swore to hate and despise you for the rest of my life.
You broke my heart into pieces, one which I was carefully nurturing for you. I would have died in Otholia but what kept me going was my love I promised to give to you and the thought that you were mine.
Little did I know, you would stoop so low and disgrace yourself and your family. For once, I supported the queen and council in whatever decision they meted out to you.
You fucking deserved it but yet in all, a part of me wants to talk with you but I can not. I believe things are better this way. The truth is if I had met you when I returned from Otholia and heard all of these atrocities you committed, it would have been more agonizing for you because you wouldn't have survived me.
I hate you Aris for betraying my trust and love, rubbing it in my face without regard. You made me disobey the crown so many times, broke so many rules for you and this was how you repaid me. I don't think I would ever forgive you for what you did to me.
However I would advise you discard every thought of me from your wicked heart as my heart now belongs to someone else, one who is better than you and would never stoop so low like a swine.
I really hope you've learnt your lesson. Never deal wrongly with the Vernadoz .
I read the letter over and over again, each time with a deeper understanding. I hadn't realized I was shedding tears, By the time I was done reading repeatedly, the paper was soaked with tears as I clenched onto my chest in pains.
"Fuck you Troy. You're nothing but a coward" I cursed at him under my breath as I cried.
How can you be so mean? How can you hate me after everything? Why did you choose me? Was it to humiliate me yet you claimed to love me.
The tears that were rushing from my eyes were heavy droplets mixed with pain, anger and regrets.
I trailed my mind back to that fateful night and how it all started. The moment I walked into that banquet hall, the first person my eyes fell on was the prince.
He was sitting so confident in the navy blue Doxa ceremonial uniform he wore. The suit had the symbols if the kingdom and all of that. But what dazzled me were the way his eyes roamed over my body scanning through the emerald sequin dress I wore, taking in every contour and detail before they locked with mine.
It was a feeling I couldn't fathom, one I haven't had or experienced before. It was meant to be beautiful, to be pure, peaceful, sincere and loving.
It became scary when I noticed how he reacted and responded to it then i knew i was doomed. My heart began racing at that instant, my body language was speaking to me and the only word I could hear was "Its you!"
No! I tried to fight the voice off but it became louder and clearer. But I was a novice to love, what was I going to do? Within the few minutes, our eyes were staring into each others, I saw real and raw emotions in his eyes and then he broke off our contact and that was when I made my way out.
Still struggling with the voice speaking, and praying it doesnt come to pass, I heard my name being announced as the prince's choice. That was it! I panicked, everyone panicked including the queen and the other ladies who were with me. It was unexpected. I saw it.
Troy why?....... Why did you choose me if you knew you would turn around and humiliate me and my family this way? I cried out so bitterly. I was hurt, I was broken and just it was at that moment I made up my mind to kill all of my feelings for the prince regretting all of my past actions.
Regrets only apply when we don't learn from a situation. No sense in looking back, look forward with new knowledge and no regret.
Truth remains I've had a lot of regrets recently including having misunderstood my best friend, Adrian.
Maybe if I had not embarked on that journey and was probably here with Aris, none of these would have happened but then on the alternative if Doxa had gone to war, that would also have been a regret for me.
So far, I'd learnt alot from this situation and didn't want to look back to it all but find a solution and forge ahead.
Because of the issue, I had with Adrian, he became scarce in court. Infact, he hardly even came around anymore probably avoiding me just as he did at Rythfork.
The only reason he was there was to shield Aris from me, that I knew and recognized. He was acting like an overly overprotective father to her. I must say, it kinda made me feel jealous somehow but with Gemma's presence infiltrating my space, I could hardly think about Aris.
But whenever I did, it was always filled with anger and bitterness, the reason I wrote the letter I'm hoping she does not get to read.
Sitted in the office trying to bury myself in the work handed over to me by the king. Since the foreign affairs minister was suspended and facing trials, his duties were transferred to me for the interim.
I was appending my signatures to some travel documents of some of our citizens who had applied for some overseas trips some years ago but were denied because they had no bribe money to pay.
This was one out of the many corrupt practices Lord Castor committed with his office. Currently, his office was under investigation likewise all who worked with him. The doors to my office opened quietly.
"Your highness, the queen has sent for you" Gaius spoke once he entered my office and I just ignored him like he wasn't there.
"My prince, did-" I lifted my head from the paperwork infront of me and gazed at him.
"I heard you the first time. Have you reached Adrian?"
"Lord Adrian does not want to be reached, your highness" he stated and my face hardened in a frown immediately at his statement.
"And what is the meaning of that?" I shot him a fiery look.
"He said he's taking some time off from work and do not want to be bothered"
I chuckled unbelievably with my mouth opened. Adrian has never disobeyed me before.
"Where is he?"
"He's back home at Souli"
"Tell him it's an order and I would not take no for an answer. Remind him that's he's my subject" I spoke emphatically.
"What about the queen?" Gauis reminded me again of what I was avoiding.
Honestly, I could say I knew why she was sending for me but I preferred avoiding her because I didnt want to loose it. I was still very mad at her for scarring my chance at happiness before it even began.
"Tell her I'm busy and would come to her when I'm less busy" I instructed Gaius sndhe gave a bow and left.