What is a fairy-tale?
I’d be lying if I said I had an idea what it is. I’m a guy, fairytales are female things and I don’t even bother myself to think about such. With my schedule and all, where would I even get the time to be day dreaming about a fairytale?
Growing up for me was none like how other kids grew up, you know, like having a nice family home with your parents and their lives practically revolving around you and stuff? Nah, I don’t know any of that. I never experienced it. At some point I honestly believed that my parents hate me and maybe they still do but now that I’m older I honestly don’t give a shit about them or their love for me.
I always knew I was different, I always felt different than the other kids and it bothered me to a certain extent. I remember this one particular day in school, it was after break when I walked back into class and someone had messed up my desk. When I say messed I mean someone had left papers lying around my area and for some reason I didn’t react as a normal person would. I got my first punishment that day and because of how I responded my parents or rather my mother had me checked out by a specialist and she found me to be Bipolar with OCD, I mean as if the Bipolar wasn’t enough it had to be accompanied by something else just as bad.
With therapy and taking my medication I think it's safe to say I’m a tad bit normal. I don’t have a relationship with my parents, a pastor couldn’t possibly have a Bipolar son, it wouldn’t bode well for his reputation that he has worked so damn hard to build. I live in East London with a nanny who goes about her life while I go about mine and my parents? Well they are somewhere in the country or the world, honestly I don’t know and I don’t really care.
“Mr Mbana, Siphe is here to see you”
Buhle says walking into the lounge dragging me away from my train of thoughts.
I am back home for holidays from the states after having completed my degree that side and am now back here and am furthering my studies this side in Cape Town and doing my internship under Mr Majola’s company with a side hustle.
“Let her in”
I say and she bows a little before walking out of the room. I’m laying spread out on the couch watching tv with my phone in my hand chatting with a friend.
She says standing in front of the tv bending forward in front of my face blocking my view
I say pulling her to me so that she lays ontop of me
“How are you?”
She asks but I don’t respond and pull her in for a kiss which she gladly responds to. Siphe and I have been seeing each other ever since I came back and it has been 3 months since I returned this side.
“How are you? I haven’t seen you in a week”
I say and she smiles
“It's been hectic babe but I’m done with exams and you have me all to yourself”
She says smiling and I chuckle
“Glad to hear that. Lets go upstairs”
I say and she gets up off me and I hold my hand out to her so she helps pull me up. We make our way upstairs to what I call a pleasure room. Don’t judge me, I’ve always been into rough sex or rather BDSM thing and lets just say Siphe enjoys it as much as I do. I’m holding her hand and leading the way
“We just walked past your room”
“I know, I haven’t seen you for a week Siphe”
I say and she doesn’t respond. I get inside after her and lock the door. I don’t have to say anything for her to know that she needs to strip out of her clothes
“I can't stay for long today, my father is around”
She says nervously taking her clothes off as I watch her intently
“I’ll drive you home”
I say and she forces a smile. She’s now naked and i am in my shorts only after taking off my t-shirt. I walk over to her and nudge her to the chains hanging from the ceiling
“Did I do something?”
She asks with a shaky voice, I help tie her hands up then kick her legs for her to spread them open and bend down to tie them with cuffs. I straighten and then take off my shorts so that I’m left in my black briefs. I place them neatly ontop of the Chest Of Drawers in the corner and then take out a flogger and walk over to her
“Lwando you scaring me”
She says in a very shaky voice
“Did you think I wouldn’t find out?”
I ask walking behind her, my voice neutral but cold enough to make her shake like a leaf
“F-find out w-what?”
She stutters, I smirk
“You really want to play dumb with me Siphe, now?”
I ask wiping her ass, she bends forward a bit before trying to straighten again
“Lwando I don’t know what you think I did”
She says with a terrified voice, I chuckle darkly and hit her again harder than the last time
“Siphe there's nothing you do that doesn’t come back to me”
I tell her
“Maybe you might want to reconsider that answer?”
I ask and she doesn’t respond, she starts to sob lightly but her sobs only fall on deaf ears and blind eyes. My emotions have always only ever been on lockdown because I have come to learn that woman will do nothing but hurt you if you allow yourself to fall victim to their manipulation and right now this very girl is trying her best to manipulate me but I don’t fall easily. I hit her but this time on her back making her jump a little, I walk around to see her tear stained face enjoying the sight of her like this. Her tears give me pleasure.
She cries out, I chuckle darkly and hit her again on the side of her stomach
“Lwando please, it hurts”
She cries out in between her sobs
“tell me the truth Siphe”
I demand looking straight into her glossy eyes
“I didn’t know what to do Lwando”
She says seeing that her puppy eyes are not doing anything to me instead I have a boner
“What did you do Siphe?”
I ask hitting harder on the same spot
“I was 4 weeks pregnant and I got an abortion. I am sorry”
3 years ago
“HONEY WHERE ARE YOU?”
I shout walking in further into our apartment. I just got back from work. She doesn’t respond
I shout again and still don’t get a response. Thandi recently lost her mother a couple of months back and she hasn’t been taking it to well. She hasn’t been coping at all, the death of her mother triggered her schizophrenia. I didn’t know she wasn’t sick until her mother died. I’ve been trying to get her to see someone because I’m not equipped to handle such a sickness with my very own that gets the best of me every now and then. I walk into our bedroom and she has a knife in her hand and is standing in front of the mirror, she looks like she hasn’t showered today, her hair is a mess and so are her clothes. She’s talking to her reflection
I say but she doesn’t respond. I walk over to her slowly
I say but she doesn’t respond let alone flinch to me calling her, she doesn’t acknowledge my presence at all. I touch her shoulders and she doesn’t stop mumbling whatever it is that she’s mumbling to her reflection in the mirror. I turn her to me slowly
I say in a more calm tone to not scare her any further
“They wont stop talking to me”
She says, I’m confused
I ask trying to take the knife from her
“Don’t touch me”
She says moving back with the knife
“Thandi please. You need to see your doctor”
She shakes her head
She says so quickly
“She’s going to send me to that place and I don’t want to go there”
She says talking about the mental institution, I walk closer to her
“Please do it for me”
I plead but she shakes her head moving back
“I am not going there. You can’t take me to that place please”
She pleads, she has tears in her eyes. I could never resist her tears, not before and not now
“OK. I wont take you there but can I at least call Dr Heid to come and see you?”
I plead and she thinks for a second and then nods. I search my pockets but I cant find my phone, I must have left it in the kitchen when I walked in. I walk out and I find it on the counter, I search her doctor’s number and call it. As I am talking to her doctor I smell burning fabric which sets the sprinters on in the flat. I tell her doctor to come ASAP and drop the call to attend to Thandi. I find her starring at the mirror burning the clothes in front of the mirror mumbling incoherent things to herself blocking her ears, she still has the knife in her hands
I say slowly walking in and she turns to me quicker than the speed of lightening swaying the knife
“Don’t come any closer”
She yells and I stop at the door
“Thandi hand me the knife. Dr Heid is on her way”
I say and she shakes her head
“NO! I don’t want to see her, call her and tell her to go back”
She says pointing the knife at me
“I cannot do that Honey. She’s on her way to help you”
I plead, at this moment I’m more afraid for her than I am myself
“If you come any closer I will kill you”
She says but I walk up to her anyway, she swings the knife at me and I duck and manage to grab hold of her from behind
“Let me go!”
She yells trying to break free of my grip but I’m stronger than she is
“Your doctor is coming ok”
I say in her ear but she can’t hear me, she’s fighting to get out of my grip
“LET GO OF ME OR I WILL KILL YOU”
She threatens but I don’t let her go at all. I walk us away from the fire that is now spreading and walk to the lounge with her fighting me.
“Thandi I need you to calm down”
I plead putting her down, she turns to me and tries to stab me but I move back
“You want her to take me don’t you? So that you and Siphe can continue where you left off huh?”
I sigh. Siphe is a girl I mess with whenever I’m in East London, its nothing serious between her and I. Yes I’ve been cheating on Thandi with her but Siphe knows where we stand. She once called Thandi to let her know about us and I had to end it with her but somehow she managed to convince me that I could never let her go. Siphe is different from Thandi, she can handle everything when it comes to sex and she satisfies me like no other has before and hence I cant let her go.
“You want to go to her don’t you? I know you and her have been plotting to get rid of me”
She says and I can honestly tell you I haven’t seen or spoken to Siphe in months now. I’ve been nothing but loyal and committed to Thandi.
“NO! I’d never do that to you”
she’s on the other side of the counter and I’m on the other. Her look is murderous and it scares me. I’ve never seen her like this before, could it be that Siphe did something? Siphe is capable of doing something, probably sent her an old picture or texted her or even called her, I wouldn’t put it past her
“You lying! You were with her just this afternoon!”
She accuses and I shake my head
“I would never do that to you again Thandi I swear on my life”
“I saw the pictures. The messages. Siphe called me and I heard you guys fucking”
She says and I’m stunned by this piece of information. What’s she talking about?
“You lied to me”
She cries out. I walk over to her but she swings the knife at me. I manage to grab hold of her and we fight with the knife, she manages to graze my arm but I don’t stop. I’m scared to hurt her but I need to get hold of the knife before she hurts herself. We fight with the knife and it ends up stabbing her in the stomach
“Oh my God”
I say out of shock not believing what just happened. I take her into my arms and pull the knife out
“Thandi please don’t leave me”
I plead and she touches my cheek
“I love you”
“I love you too baby. Please don’t leave me. Please stay with me”
I plead holding her in my arms, someone knocks on the door and then it opens and her doctor walks in accompanied by 2 paramedics.
3 Months later
I walk out of the mental instituition and get into Mr Mbana’s car and he drives off
“How are you?”
He asks and I shrug
“Getting there I guess”
I respond. These past three months I’ve been locked up for stabbing Thandi, Mr Mbana pulled strings and had my lawyer convince the judge that I was not in my right mind and the call I made to Thandi’s doctor also came in handy. The bipolar also played a part in me not ending in prison but the looney bin instead. Mr Mbana pulled more strings and had them discharge me early than I should
“How is she holding up?”
“she is getting the help she deserves”
I am a computer scientist if you want to know about my actual qualification. I also studied accounting and architecture, its mostly self taught and online courses. I know it’s a lot but when you do what I do you need to have a few useful skills up your sleeves in order to survive.
I am not that old actually, I’m only 24 years old really but I know and have seen things no 24 year old should have already. I am Bipolar and have OCD, I was diagnosed when I was still young and its because of that I don’t have quiet a relationship with my parents now. My father being a pastor, a leader couldn’t handle having a demon possessed child so he shipped me off overseas to some boarding school and had me come back when I was 16 to complete my studies this side. I have episodes every now and then but they not as bad because I take my meds, see a therapist every now and then and I stay away from triggers.
Ayola is a trigger but she’s a trigger I’m willing to risk.
I’d like to believe that my life began the day I met Ayola Majola-Mbana. That woman came into my screwed up crazy life and turned it into something I can never be able to put into words. God dammit I love that crazy feisty beast. You’ll later understand why I call her a beast. I remember the first time I ever saw her.
She was supposed to be a distraction to keep the monsters at bay, but now I’m addicted and I can't stay away. Heck I’d even kill for her given the chance to because Ayola Mbana walked into my life and changed everything I believed in. I am Lwando Mbana is this is my version of events