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X. This Song's My Sorry

The halls were like huge ocean waves as I passed through to get back to my room in the hotel. Every step I made, created ripples into my vision. A song kept playing in my head but I can’t tell what it was. It was a rift, fitting for the waves of walls coming down on me. Something tells me I should not get back to this place anymore. That I should run the opposite direction. My mind, on the other hand, tugs at my body to move faster and get some rest. It has been a day since I was gone without permission. Lucian must be going crazy right now. The thought of it made me smile for some reason. He looks funny every time I’m able to conjure up a new emotion from him other than the calm and stern look he always gives.

I staggered to get to the door but before I opened it, I collected myself and fixed my posture. As soon as I stepped into my room, someone held my arm and dragged me right inside.

“Where have you been? You do know that I’ve been looking all over for you! Glory, what the hell are you thinking!” He rubbed my face as if checking for some marks then proceeded to touch my arms. I fought back and released myself from his clutch to his surprise.

“I was looking for you too, Lucian. But I don’t do what you’re doing to me.”
“What are you talking about? I was out working at The Grid trying to come up with ways to keep your career’s momentum. And here you are derailing it every chance you get! What do you really want Glory?” He raised his voice but tried to keep calm. It made me laugh a little knowing how pent up his emotions must feel.

“You think this is funny?”

In a snap, he took an antique flower vase on the table and threw it on the wall. It made a sharp noise that set me off balance. He heaved as he took a breath, brushed his blond hair back up and stretched his hand. My knees trembled from fright and I could feel tears welling up and my throat tightening.

“I’ve done everything for you and this is how you repay me?” His words hurt and his voice let out a slight tinge of pain. “You could’ve literally had a manager that raped you every night or pimped you out to dirty old men of the Industry and still I get the disrespect? I just wanted you to follow me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.” It was painful looking at him that way.

“Is that really all, Lucian? What about your dreams? Your own dreams of making it to your father.” I gathered all my courage to drop the bomb.

His reaction morphed from pain to a deadlier one. It was unwavering, steady, precise and unnerving. I found myself swallowing back my words even before they came out. With one breath, he reached down to the floor to get a pointed shard of glass from the broken vase. He looked at it calmly then turned to me.

“What are you gonna do, Lucian?” My heartbeat went faster until it’s all I could hear from the room. And before I could cry out, he lifted his left palm in my view and pierced the center with the pointed end of the glass. Bloor gushed out and plenty of red drops stained the carpet. He rubbed the shard in his other hand and dropped it on the floor as I watched in horror. He casually reached for his phone in the suit and made a call.

“We’ve got an emergency, code 5150. She’s snapping and I don’t know what to do. You have to help me. I repeat, code 5150.” His voice sounded in panic but his face calmly said otherwise.

I didn’t know what he meant but I got a bad feeling someone is coming to take me away. If I don’t do anything now, I might be put in a psych ward and tied to a bed. Pedro’s words kept echoing in my head. Jagger’s voice sliced in telling me, “It doesn’t matter. What I’m about to tell you will be gone from your mind anyway.”

So I screamed as loud as I can, “So what, you’re gonna put things in my head again?! What are you doing Lucian?! You want to fry my brain again!”

His eyes widened and he covered the receiver of his phone with his bloody palm.

“Glory, it’s gonna be alright. I’m doing this for you.” He tried to take a step forward.
“Don’t you come near me!” I shrieked. There was another shard of glass on the floor I quickly grabbed and pointed at my neck.
“Glory, please. Put that thing down. Listen to me. Just me.” His voice shook as he made another step trying to reach for me.

“You’re not doing this for me. You’re doing this for yourself.” Tears fell down my eyes uncontrollably and he became blurry to my vision.

“No. That’s not true. This is about Jagger Reed, right?” He took another step and I firmly pressed on the glass harder to my neck. I could feel a tear on my skin but I held on. “He’s turned you against me,” he cried. My hands shook from seeing tears fall out of his eyes. I couldn’t breathe.

“Whatever he told you he’s lying. I don’t know what his goals are but he’s trying to break us apart. And I’m not gonna lose you Glory. You’re all I have in this world. Tell me what you want me to do. Just don’t hurt yourself please.” Without answering him, he got his phone back up to his ear.

"False alarm. Call it off. There’s no need for it anymore. She’s gone to sleep from exhaustion. Yes. Thank you.” And he hung up, looking at me straight in my eyes. “They’re not coming to hurt you anymore. I’m so sorry.”

I felt weaker and weaker as tears ran down some more. But my hands were numb from pressing on to the glass on my neck. I could feel blood dripping down from to my wrist.

“Just tell me the truth, Lucian. What do you really want from me?”

He looked down at his blood hands and back up to me. In one breath he told me,

"I love you.”

And I broke down. Dropped to my knees as I wept on the floor. He quickly came to my aid, held me up and locked me in embrace. I could hear myself sobbing without control as his body gave me warmth. He stroked my hair as I cried on his shoulders. I opened my palm to see a pool of blood in it escaping on all creases. Slowly, I felt tiredness take over my body. And my vision went dark.

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