Chapter 13- Cassy's Past
Shit. Cassy. Turning to run up the stairs, I barge into her room, finding her laying on the bed staring blankly at the ceiling. “Cassy?” I call out to her. I wasn’t even sure what to say because yet again, she almost witnessed Arden and me kiss. I knew it had to be hard for her to see the boy she loved with another girl, but she can’t expect him to stay single the rest of his life, right?
I know she wanted me to wait until she left to start seeing him, but he is like a magnet that is pulling me in and I am finding it impossible to stay away from him. Can she really be mad at me for it? I mean she isn’t alive anymore...
Cassy finally acknowledges me, sitting up straight so I can see she has been crying. I didn’t even think ghosts could cry but here we are. I learn something new every day. “I’m not mad... I just- it hurts. Seeing him happy with you. He really likes you, I can tell.” She sniffles before wiping her face with the back of her hand.
I sit down on the side of the bed, “Cass, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think it would be this hard to stay friends with him, nothing more. But, I really like him too.” She nods her head, even though I could see the hurt shining through. I had to be honest with her though.
“I have no reason to be mad or upset. I hurt him severely when I killed myself right after his mother died. I knew he was upset and when I did what I did, I completely broke him. I’m an awful person, but I can make up for that now. I can let you two be happy together.” She was trying to convince herself. I could tell she is saying this stuff more for her benefit than mine. I just let her continue ranting.
“I just had to get out you know. I couldn’t keep living the way I was. No one would have believed me if they knew- Ugh! I hate him- I just-” Cassy was getting flustered. I moved closer to her, sliding my arm around her shoulder and pulling her into my chest, ignoring the bone prickling chill that came along with having contact with her.
“Cassy, tell me what happened. Maybe your unfinished business has nothing to do with Arden or Charlie. Maybe, it has to do with the reason you decided to end your life. Maybe you need closure.” I spoke as softly as I could, trying to get her to talk to me. I could sense something terrible happened, I just need her to confide in me.
Cassy sniffs, looking up into my eyes. She starts to pick her nails, as she debates whether to tell me or not. Letting out a long sigh, she sits back against the wall. I copy her, and wait patiently.
“My step dad married my mom when I was four, so I looked at him as if he were my own father. He was kind and funny, and he played with Charlie and me. Made us feel like we were his kids, regardless that we weren’t biological. He really made my mother happy.” She pauses, biting her lip as it began to quiver. Continuing, she says. “It started when I first got my period at thirteen. I was finally a woman.” She uses air quotations for the word ‘woman’.
My stomach started churning, my brain already starting to formulate possible outcomes to her story. "It started with accidental touches, that were not so accidental. Then Charlie started soccer, and when him and mom were out of the house, his touching became more frequent. He didn't even bother trying to make it seem like an accident anymore. I didn't think anything of it until I was changing in my room and he was watching me. I didn't notice him in my room, laying on my bed pleasuring hisself while I was obliviously changing in my closet. But still, I shrugged it off, not fully grasping what he was doing, I didn't tell mom or anything because I wasn't even sure what he was doing."
Cassy's tears were flowing at this point and I was doing everything I could to hold my own back. "One weekend, Charlie and his team had an out of town tournament. So like any good mother, she went with him while my step dad and I stayed home... I was in bed, and he came in and laid behind me. I didn't think anything of it because, I mean he was my dad, we use to cuddle all the time and I use to sleep between him and mom."
I could feel the lump in my throat, but I force myself to swallow it. Cassy continues. "I was wearing a nightgown, and he started rubbing my leg. When he got higher than I was comfortable with, I asked him what he was doing but he just shushed me. Told me that he loved me and wanted to show me that. I didn't understand until he rolled me to my stomach and pulling off my underwear."
Cassy was sobbing at this point, and I could do nothing but hold her hand as my own tears fell. "H-he r-raped me that night... Abby, it was the worse pain I've ever felt. After he was done, he soothed me, told me he loved me and he only wanted to show me how much. Said he would take care of my always. The sick bastard even use to record it because he said we looked so good together."
She wipes her tears as she pulls a smile out. "After a year of that, I met Arden. I immediately fell in love with him and wanted to tell him about my struggles, I knew he would take them away. Help me escape. But then, his mother got cancer. I couldn't put my problems on him, he was dealing with enough. I just couldn't do it. But keeping that secret, letting him believe I was still a virgin, it ate away at me, Abby."
She turns to me and I could see the brokenness of her, the scared little girl that was reliving the nightmare she is telling me about. "My step dad never stopped. Hell, he got worse after he found out I was dating Arden. He would get sneakier and even bolder, touching me and raping me while my mother was in the next room sleeping. He use to mutter, 'Cassy, you don't need any other man, I can please you and take care of you in any way you need.' It repulsed me. I tried to scream, kick anything, but he was stronger than me."
She took a deep breathe, trying to stop herself from completely breaking all over again. "I tried to tell my mom about it before I killed myself. That weekend, I remember. I tried to tell her on a Friday, her and Charlie were about to head out for another out of town meet. However, my step dad walked in right when I was trying to tell her. He gave me a look so I stopped. After mom and Charlie left, he beat me so bad, said if I ever try to tell her again he would kill me, and then continued to take advantage of me after I passed out. When I came back around he was on the phone with my mom telling me that he found me beat and bruised in front out our house, and someone must have jumped me."
Shaking her head, she let out a humorless laugh. "I couldn't take it so before that week was over, I took a whole bottle of pills, locked my door and said goodbye."
I was speechless. Cassy went through all of that at such a young age and she didn't have anyone to talk to about it, or at least she felt like she didn't. However, I could sympathize with her, I could understand that pain because we have similar experiences.
I squeeze her hand, before pulling her into another hug that she melts into. "Cassy, I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but what if your unfinished business is putting that sick fuck behind bars?"
Wiping her tears, she shrugs. "I don't know. Maybe. But I'm dead, I can't really testify in court." I bite my lip, before an idea pops into my head.
"You said he recorded you guys, correct?"