Dear Silent readers,
I have no idea whether you like my story or you don’t, because you don’t share your vote nor your comments. It won’t even take a second of your time to vote and hardly a minute to share your comment.
It very demotivating for a writer when her audience is silent, for you it might be nothing but for us, it’s like the fuel that pushes us to write more and better.
So a humble request to you all please give a minute extra on this chapter to share your vote and comments.
P.S not edited.
I opened my eyes. In the dark stillness, I couldn’t see much, but the dim glow of the bedside clock and the vague shadow of the lamp next to it. Another nightmare, three months have passed since I had received the threatening message from Raj since then I have not heard from him but my nightmares couldn’t stop coming. Half asleep, I fumbled with the covers and stumbled to the bathroom. The haunted eyes and dark circles underneath them made the long, drawn-in face almost unrecognizable. I splash the cold water on my face, it felt soothing on my burning skin.
I can’t stop thinking about the terrible things that could happen, I am anxious all the time I am alone, my body is tensed and my mind is fixated only on one person Raj. My anxiety levels go high making it difficult for me to concentrate on anything else, also it has taken the rights away to have a good night’s sleep.
I have stopped going out of the college alone, I do update Sonia about my regular whereabouts. With each passing day, I guess, I am going more insane, the fear of the unknown is the greatest fear of all. As far as I know Raj, it’s not in his nature to sit quietly and do nothing.
Other than the Raj factor and me going insane, the rest all are in my life are going pretty well thanks to God’s mercy. Rumors are going around in the college stating that I am dating Chris and Abhi together, well I can’t blame them cause these two idiot friends of mine and Sam are always glued with me.
I have lost counts on the number of love letters, Facebook message, Insta request Chris have denied. With every denial, Sam goes into a dilemma saying this is not my brother. And Abhi well he the tough one, usually he doesn’t prefer communicating with anyone without a purpose of work, so most of the girls stay away from him and some even call him arrogant but Abhi has a blind eye towards all of them.
Though Chris and Abhi fight with each other like cats and dogs they are still together. A few days back we went trekking, both of them debated for an hour at least about the things that need to be carried. Finally, it was me and Sam who completed the work. Sam says that they purposely fight with each other to avoid doing the work and every time we end up cleaning the mess and arranging everything around.
Trek was fun, tiring, and organized as Sam choose to lead. Staying in a place that is surrounded by the hills brings advantages for the people who love outdoor physical activities and Sam is always a step ahead when it comes to this. Whenever we slowed down she kept on saying that this is a child’s walk but for me, five kilometers up a hill and then down was too much.
It was my and Abhi’s, first trek, Chris had experienced only three till now but Sam has done many, like her parents, she also has a passion for adventure sports. But she was unlucky this time that she got stuck with three lazy people and yes she was cursing us for being slow as a snail, every five minutes.
We started at morning 6 all excited and reached our college back at evening 5, tired, exhausted and every inch our body was aching. It was a good experience but I swear to myself that I need to get physically fit before trying out any such stunts. That night I slept a night free from the nightmares, I guess along with my body, my mind was too exhausted to process anything. After a long time when I got up and I was greeted by the rays of the sun peeping through our curtains, that day was indeed a blessing for me.
I have tried my best to act normal in front of them till now but I have a feeling that in the coming days I will have to speak up the truth because my nightmare has become more frequent and I do get up in the night, sometimes with quite some noise and thus Sam is behind me for a long time to know the reason behind them. I have been able to dodge her questions successfully till now but the harsh truth is, I was successful because she allowed me to be. I am thankful that she respects my space but I know that her patience is running out and soon she is going to force out the answers from me.
My meet-ups with Vansh are not much, as he is busy with his internship program but yes we have gone for our drive four times in these three months. Those were good, we got to know a lot about each other. I never knew he was a painter and an excellent one, he is a big fan of Marvel and DC comics and loves zombie movies. The last part was weird but I didn’t say anything. Our meet-ups were not at all intense like the first two but I enjoyed them thoroughly, I needed these friendly conversations to think clearly about us. I never knew that behind the mask of seriousness, there is such a fun-loving person.
Vansh gifted me a key ring at our last meet-up. It was a simple ring with a ribbon attached to it saying “love to travel”.
“What’s this for?” I asked, I don’t have a car or a bike, not even a cycle.
“Well I thought maybe you can use this when you purchase your first vehicle”. He said shyly.
“I am sorry Widisha, I am bad at this. If you don’t like it, you can give it back to me”. He said. I couldn’t help but laugh seeing his cheeks growing crimson.
“I love it Vansh so don’t over think out about it”. I said.
This is what I love about Vansh that he simple.
My feelings towards him were growing with every passing day but this time I had kept my emotions under control. The fear of something going wrong because of Raj is still haunting me.
It was a sunny afternoon and I was working on a project with two of my classmates. There were three of us but technically it was me who did 90% of the work. Well, I am used to it, as this happens to me every time since school, that’s the reason I hate group work. I had asked my fellow mates to meet me in the cafeteria so that we can decide about the final part of the presentation. But last-minute these guys message me saying to meet at the café outside our college campus.
I was a little nervous going out of the campus alone but Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh it’s so frustrating. Finally, I decided that I will wait in the café for only 15minutes and if they don’t turn up I am leaving and doing the presentation alone. They can fail for all I care, I am done wasting my time and energy on them.
The café was within a five minutes walking distance from our college and is generally packed with students at any hour you go. It had blue and white interiors with a bookshelf covered the whole right side of the wall, they also have lots of board games, no doubt it’s always packed with students. I had ordered myself a sandwich as I had to miss my lunch because of them.
Ten minutes passed but no sign of any of them, suddenly I felt hands on my shoulder and I froze on the spot I was.
“Hello! My angel. Missed me?”
The purpose of this chapter was to focus on few psychological factors on how our mind functions.
We tend to think about a lot of negative stuff when we are alone.
Nightmares do kill your sleep and make you think that you are more exhausted.
Physical or outdoor activities help in controlling anxiety.