Prologue
Prologue
Actual peace, not Adinas idea of peace that required burning inscents that were gag worthy and the constant sound of ticking from a metranome reminding her she was only failing to reach a state of meditation. Grabbing her phone and a jacket she ran out of the house and decided it was just better to go for a walk. Leaving Adina just standing there, holding that dumb bowl and shaking her head at Rays outburst.
As she walked Ray let her thoughts wander to how her life had changed, her guilt, her shame, not knowing why or how and what to do next. It was exhausting. The further she walked the thoughts swarming around seemed to just slowly fade away. It wasnt long before she found herself back at the accident scene. Granted none of the debris was still there, but the scorch marks from the fire could still be seen on the oak trees base. Nothing made sense, or added up. Resigned to desperation she slumped down on it's roots and let the tears flow. All of her frustraition just pouring out.
"Ray! Ray! Where the hell are you!",
Ray jumped to her feet, there was no one around, and yet she could have sworn she heard someone yelling out to her, calling her name. Theres no way she could have imagained it. Or was she losing her mind along with every thing else? Wiping her hands on her jeans out of nervous habbit Ray searched around her. The wind blew in the trees, bringing that smell of rain and dirt in the fall with it, a bird flew up to a tree, and some where in the distance she could hear the compression of a semi truck engine. Nothing unusual, all normal sounds. But the racing in her chest grew stronger, the paranoia now seeping into her mind growing at an uncontrollable rate.
What the hell was going on? Who called out to her? Just more questions to add to the list that never seemed to end. But someone had to be there, had to be close. Someone who knew her. It couldn't have been her imagination. But who even knew where she was, she hadn't been back here since the accident. She had actually gone out of her way to avoid even passing by here since that night. The wind shifted, sending a chill up her back and blowing her hair into her face. Ray decided to head home, she would be lucky to make it back to the house before night fall. The walk home would be slower, the energy that had pushed her before was depleted. Then a sort of reality check set in, the accident was two miles from her home. How the hell did she get there so quickly, and on foot?
Maybe she had been so lost in thought that she just wasn't paying attention? With a sigh Ray pulled her phone out of her jacket, sixteen missed calls from Adina. Then she noticed what time it was, the sun wasn't setting, it was rising. Six forty three in the morning! But how! There was no way she had been gone all night, did she fall asleep and just not realise it? Where did almost Fourteen hours go? "Shit, Din is gonna kill me.", she mumbled as she pressed send on the phone that now seemed like torture device knowing that once her sister answered there would be more than ear full coming her way.
Of course Adina picked up on the second ring, but no yelling, atleast not yet any ways. She told Ray to give her a few minutes and she would come pick her up, "Bring coffee!" Ray pleaded before hanging up. As she walked away from the trees and closer to the road a few cars passed, drivers waving in awknowledgment as was the custom in their area. Some where near by a cow bellowed and dogs barked. It was comforting, the simple noises of every day life. Things you grow accustomed to without ever really appriciating that they are the deatils of 'home'. Adina pulled up next to her, looking a hot mess. Blonde hair pulled into some kind of lopsided bun with what looked like a chopstick, glasses instead of her usual contact lenses and an oversized hoodie that looked like it had definitly seen better days. Ray started to giggle when she opened the door and saw that Adina was wearing purple printed moon pj pants that were fuzzy and these weired little green alien slippers.
"The hell are you laughing at?", Adina snapped, "I could just let you walk home if that's what you'd rather do."
"No Din, I'm good, legs are killing me from the walk and the cold. Thank you for being the bestest and coming to get me. You didn't by chance remember to bring coffee?", Ray was still smiling and adding on a little extra charm as she tried to butter up her sister. "Yes, I brought you coffee. But it's gonna cost you an explanation. You just took off, and never answered your phone. I was starting worry when I realised you never came back last night." Adina glanced over as they pulled away from the side of the road towards the oak tree and slammed on the breaks. "Who the fuck is that guy?"
Rays head swivled, and sure enough there was a man standing by the tree, looking over at them with what she guessed was an expression of annoyance or maybe aggrivation. He shoved his hands in his pockets and just stood there. He wasn't there a few minutes ago, where had he come from? Was he the one who had called out, looking for her? She didn't recognize him from around town or anything. Ray started to get back out of the car when a big Black older model truck pulled up and the man jogged over, jumping into the passenger side before Ray could even yell out after him. "Ray I asked you who that guy is.", Adina smacked Rays shoulder getting her attention. "I have no freaking clue. I've never seen him before." Ray slumped back into the seat, sipped her coffee and tried to ignore the glare from her sister. Adina lit a cigarette before pulling back onto the road and heading towards home. Ray could tell Adina didn't believe her, but she really didn't know who the guy was.
Who ever he was though wasn't what piqued her curiousty, she wanted to know where the hell he had come from.
As they pulled into the drive way Adina started crying and this wasn't just a few tears. These were full on sobs. This wasnt exactl'y the type of thing Ray was comfortable with, the whole aspect of comforting someone or showing compassion wasn't easy for her. There just wasnt that strong sense of empathy in her. But she sat there and reached over to hold her sisters hand in an attempt not to be useless. After a couple minutes Adina wiped her face on her sleeve and turned her body towards Ray.
"Ok, I get it, I've been pretty relentless. Always asking questions, putting you through one exercise or mantra after another. And I know that you want answers as much as I do, I just want to be sure that we haven't missed anything. I mean its' not like I know what the hell Im doing and you refuse to call Uncle Max and ask him for help so we're on our own. I can't find any explanation on why you've lost your gifts and now I find out you've spent the night out with some random guy! I cant' believe you'd do that! Thats not like you!", the pain on her face was more than obvious, even for Ray, but that was going too far.
"Hold the fuck up, are you serious right now? I told you I have no idea who that guy was. I've never even seen him before in my life! And as far as Uncle Max is concernced I don't like him, I don't want him near me. He makes my skin crawl. Adina, I know you're trying to help, I know you have my best interest at heart but maybe it's time to just accept that I wont get my gifts back. Maybe I'm meant to live out my life like anyone else would. Just average. As musch as that sucks, I may just have to learn to live with it." Ray got out of the car and ran to the house, Adina still in shock, reeling from her words ' Just average'. How the hell were they supposed to be 'just average', like either of them knew what the hell average was or how to be it.
