Impossibly, the next time I wake up is even worse than all the others. There is so much pain, but the worst is the screaming pain in my side. I push my eyes open and reach for the source of the pain, but can't move my arms.
A quick glance down my body reveals the heart stopping reason.
My arms and legs are tied so I am spread eagle on the bed of blankets. My clothes are gone. Every inch of my skin is bared to the world, every scar lit up by the same lights that watched as they were made. I tug at the ropes trying to pull free, but it's no use. I am shaking too hard and the fear is gripping me so intensely.
Once again, I can't feel my wolf Inside me.
I haul in a deep breath as the sound of footsteps reach me. I crane my neck but can't see the source until they walk completely into the room.
Seth is grinning at me, his signature dark smirk that haunts my every nightmare. His prison jumpsuit is gone, only his white undershirt and tiny white underwear remain.The blood I'd caused to his various injuries is gone.
"Good you're awake." He palms his growing erection and I can't stop the retch. The idea that he's coming anywhere near me with that...
The heavy steel door slams under his grip, and I pull harder at my restraints. His smile grows and he takes another step towards me.
"Finally, my love... it's time I make you fully and completely mine." He murmurs.
I scream and start thrashing wildly as he speaks, trying desperately to get free. He snickers and comes closer still playing with his junk through his underwear. "Save some of that screaming for after I'm inside you, baby." He strokes himself harder. I buck and kick and rip at the ropes, but they hold steady.
Every inch of my skin is crawling, a million bugs burying themselves beneath it. The only thing he'd never done, the only thing he'd never taken.... I wouldn't survive this.
Finally beside the bed, he pulls his penis out. I scream louder and try harder to pull myself away.
"I'm going to show you," he strokes himself once then reaches for my skin. His fingers fold around my thigh and I freeze in terror for a millisecond before I continue thrashing on the bed.
"Exactly who you belong to." He traces his fingers along the letters of his name on the inside of my thigh, playing with himself while he does. My thigh burns under his touch but no matter how hard I try, I can't break his grip.
"I'm going to slide into you so deep you will never be able to be rid of me.' He murmurs. "And when you're bucking and screaming, begging for me to hurry up... I'm going to bury my teeth in your neck. Mark you as mine in every sense of the word.... And then you'll do the same to me."
He climbs onto the bed of blankets and settles beside me, too close. He groans as I scream and suddenly he spurts, dripping his semen across my chest. It's warm, and sticky, and smells like my death.
Everything blurs. The lights dull, the sounds of my screams become softer, quieter, the smell of his skin and semen pull back.
I lose control of my body.
Beyond the blurry ceiling, his face drifts into focus. He smiles down at me and presses his fingers into my chest, spreading his essence around. I shudder in disgust and his eyes light up in excitement. I can feel him swelling again, resting against my chest.
I move my eyes away from him as he begins speaking. I don't want to hear what he has to say, don't want to feel him as he ruins me.
"I am going to love every second of this next part..." he stops playing in his mess and brings sticky fingers to my chin. He grabs it forcefully and tugs my face down so once again he is all I can see. I focus more on the soft edges, desperate to pretend I'm anywhere but here.
"I hope it hurts..." I try to let the blurriness coat me, to let the numbness drag me away. He reaches up and brushes his fingers through my hair, whispering promises to make me feel good and that he loves me so much. I pray for death again.
He slithers over me and settles between my thighs.
My body disconnects from my brain- I can't feel him anymore. He hovers over top of me, just holding himself above me. I settle into the numbness more completely, just in time to barely feel his junk pressing against my thigh. He is so close to the one place he never touched me- the one place no one has ever touched me. He presses a kiss to my lips. My eyes flick shut and my heartbeat stalls. Is this the death I have prayed so hard for? I settle deeper into it, hoping like hell that it is.
"I'm going to take you so hard you forget all about everything else in your life. Now..." He leans down once again and places a kiss on the crook of my neck. "Hold still."
I feel light pressure against my hips and in the same second, something inside of me snaps.
Suddenly I'm no longer in the front of my mind. I settle into the passenger seat, and with the next blink I can see once again. With the next breath I realize my furious wolf has taken over.
I feel the ropes around our extremities snap under her strength, and in the next second our form has shifted.
Seth is thrown off of me as we change, and he hits the wall across the room with a heavy thud. My wolf stands to her full height and turns angry eyes on our tormentor. She stalks towards him, claws begging for blood.I feel numb still, drowning in the sea of despair he'd thrown me into.
Seth's eyes become the size of saucers as he takes us in. He looks dazed; like he hadn't expected us to change forms. He reaches up and presses his hand to the back of his head. It comes away bloody.
Suddenly he stands and she growls at him. His eyes narrow and he snarls down at her. Murder paints him red, and she is right there with him.
Two bodies enter, one body leaves. This fight will be to the death.
"You stupid fucking bitch." She snarls and lunges for him. He dives out of the way. She hits the wall and spins, shaking out our fur. Her anger spikes. Images of Seth with his throat ripped out and eyes wide her ultimate goal.
Seth is standing beside us again, and he'd tucked his dick back into his underwear while she was busy standing. She snarls at him and he smirks back. She narrows our eyes. What is he playing at? Suspicion barely breaks through my numb emotions.
He laughs and pulls his right hand out from behind his back. If I were able to feel anything, I am sure I would be frozen in terror at the shiny silver blade he is holding so carefully in his hand.
It's the same knife he'd used in our months of torture. The same knife he had drawn across Steven's neck. The same knife I had dreamed about every night for the last year of my life- the one that ended up buried in my chest every time.
She growls and comes at him again. He dodges and spins back, wildly swinging his knife. She dances out of his reach before snapping forwards. Her claws rake across his chest and he groans in pain. The sound causes the slightest thrill to run through me. For him to be the one hurting.... It's like nothing I've ever imagined. She dances away from him as he strikes out with his knife once again. He swings again and she narrowly avoids it, taking her claws to his opposite side.
He snarls and lunges forwards. She is surprised, not expecting the move. The knife slides into her arm and she yanks it out of his reach with a growl. Blood drops from the cut and hits the floor.
For the first time since drifting into the soft recesses of my mind, I feel. Anger, sadness, fear, hatred... Everything is suddenly loud and moving once again.
Feeling everything now, I am more angry with him than I have ever been. Steven's face, my own bloodied reflection, my friends and family... Everyone I've loved passes through my mind.
Suddenly I need to feel his blood on my skin. Teeth and claws will do no good to soothe the raging fire in my heart.
After everything he had done, after everything he had taken from me, after all of the things he had forced me to feel and hear and see... it will be my face he watches as he dies.
I take control of our shared body, and she lets me- surprise and pride radiating off of her. I shift without thinking and Seth's eyes widen once again. I growl at him and he smirks. For the first time ever, I feel strong as I face him.
"There's the bitch I love." I snarl at him and he takes a step closer, shifting his knife in his hand. I growl again and he laughs. The sound is so menacing, it is just another reason that I will be tearing his throat out.
"I knew you couldn't actually kill me," he taunts, "that wolf temper sure has got its grip on you." I suck in a deep breath and let my eyes drift shut for a second. I feel him take a step closer- feel the reverberations of his steps in the room- and then I feel the cold steel of the back of his knife rubbing up and down my arm. I flick my eyes open and shove my fist square into his face. His nose snaps again and blood gushes out. It's almost as satisfying as when I'd broken it with my forehead. He snarls at me and strikes out with his knife. I dance away from him.
He snarls and lunges for me. I twirl and kick out. My heel makes contact with his kidney. The groan he makes has goosebumps flying up my arms. It feels so good causing him pain.
"I'm going to fucking kill you." He spits wiping his face on his arm.
"Then let's fucking go." I bite back.
The blows rain down. We spin and whirl together, briefly making contact here and there. He makes a few small contacts, knicks in my skin appearing from the blade of his knife. My own hits connect more often, leaving him panting and wincing when he thinks I'm not paying attention.
My fist flies into his face again, and the pain in my knuckles is so worth it when his lip splits open. I smile in satisfaction. He stabs out with his knife once again. I dodge, but barely miss the knife as he swings it back and forth.
Beads of sweat rain down off of each of us. The wound at my side has long ago ripped open again, and although it was barely bleeding before the fight it is slowly dripping now- causing quite a lot of irritation. My muscles are burning with the need to snake around him, to tear him limb from limb.
I snarl. I have had enough of this dance. Apparently he has too.
He growls and launches himself at me, sacrificing the distance that had so far kept me from ripping his throat out in favour of stuffing his knife into my chest. He's aiming for my heart, just like all of my dreams.
I twist and jump at the last second so he misses his mark. Rather than my heart, his blade gets embedded in between my lowest rib and my hip. The wound screams out; now both sides are on fire. My anger makes it easy to ignore.
I grab the wrist of his right hand and twist. He loses his grip as the bones crunch in my hand. Pain lances through my chest but I continue to ignore it and throw him against the opposite wall. His head ricochets off of the stone wall with a satisfying thwack.
I stalk towards him. The blade twists in my side, tugging painfully, reminding me that it's still buried there. I rip it out with my right hand and flip it so it's resting more comfortably in my grip.
Suddenly, I understand why he's been waving it around in all of our encounters. The pure power I feel, standing over him with the shiny silver blade clutched in my hand.... I like it too much.
Seth stares up at me from his position slumped against the wall. I reach down and grab him by the throat. I stand to my slight height, carrying his weight.
"Beg me to stop." I breathe at him. His dazed eyes swirl for a moment before he manages to focus on me.
"Plead with me. Beg me to let you go. Promise not to tell anyone and tell me that you'll give me whatever I want." I tighten my grip, and his face turns the loveliest shade of purple. I relax my grip minisculely and he gasps for air.
"You took everything from me. You haunted my dreams, stalked my every move, and tormented me with every waking hour. And now..." I pause and bring my hand up so he can clearly see the knife I am about to slice into him. "Now you can't hurt me anymore." I drop my grip on his throat and in the same motion slash his blade into his throat to the hilt.
The skin of his throat melts like butter around the sharp edge.
His eyes widen at the pain and blood gushes out of the deep line I've carved. The blade slides out as elegantly as it went in, and I step back from him. His hands fly to his throat. He presses them there as he chokes on his blood, trying to hold himself together the same way Steven had.
He slumps to the ground now that I am no longer holding him up, fighting to stay conscious. I kick at his foot and his unfocused eyes turn up to connect with mine. Blood gushes between his fingers and his sickly pale colour grows.
"I hope it hurts you son of a bitch."