Chapter 14 - Grace Before
The day I dwell on, the day I cannot cleanse from my skin, steals my mind. The closer I get to the end, the more it rises its ugly head.
That day, I asked Caitlyn to babysit and decided to follow him. I wanted to know, once and for all what he was up to and what was driving him away from his family.
I borrowed a friend’s car and found him driving around the known red-light district in the area. Shrouded in darkness, I witnessed him cruising for sex. After several minutes, he pulled up to a hooker and they exchanged words. Soon after, she got into his car, and they sped off. I caught up with them and parked far enough away to remain unseen. I could just make out the explicable act unfolding in the back seat. Bile rose in my throat. It was a level of disgust and hate that I had never felt before in my life, and I am convinced it was the moment my cancer erupted.
Of course, I confronted him about it. That’s when the arguing turned nasty. Violent. The truth was, behind closed doors, we were animals to each other. James and me. Sometimes, I was worse than him. I can’t pinpoint exactly where the darkness in me came from, but once I started, I couldn’t stop.