Speak & Listen

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NIALL

NIALL

He gave me my phone. There was a pop-up message from Craig. I’m off to Bellington. The message was sent four hours ago. “You went through my phone?”

“I had every right, Adrian. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“We didn’t want to involve you in something not so lawful but...I didn’t want you to see all that.”

“Babe what happened to the no-more-secrets rule?”

“Right. I’m so sorry.”

He sighed. “The bastard hurt you. I have equal intention of seeing him dead.”

My eyes widened. “Oh?”

“The bastard harassed, killed and raped a lot of people under our noses. We are never letting that happen again. I hate it when we have to play dirty, but it’s what he deserves. We’ll be saving more lives than we’ll take.” Benjamin’s face snarled. “Have you found him?”

“Uh...no. Last time we checked, he’s in Bellington.”

“Why Bellington?”

“I don’t know. Gabriel is rumoured to be there too.”

“I don’t think Gabriel has business with Niall. He hates him too much for that.”

“I was taught never to trust so many people in my circle.” I looked back into his eyes.

“I like it when you talk like that.” His voice dropped an octave lower. He bit his lip afterwards with a smile.

I smiled to myself, that made him even gladder. His right waist wrapped itself around my waist as he jumped on top of me. Our lips touched and as much as I hated morning kisses, I didn’t mind that morning. That morning, he had more energy and more sexual drive. He grabbed a condom while we were kissing. Come to think of it, Benjamin and I had never had sex.

He only slept in his boxers, so he stripped it off under the blankets in a second. It took him a while to help undress me. He continued to kiss my neck, now getting more violent. I say this because his teeth was biting my skin and his nails cut my back. He did back-and-fro movements, but that seemingly made him even angrier. I was elevated, ready.

“Shit!” He jumped off me, all so suddenly.

My eyes widened at him. I sat up and looked at him. He seemed furious. “Babe, what is it?”

“I can’t...get it up.” He glanced at me once, embarrassed.

“Is there something wrong?”

“I’ve had sex before but...”

I paused. I looked at him, so did he. He could see the tears that were beginning to form in my eyes. I covered my body with his working shirt and wore my boxers in silence. “I’m sorry.” For some reason, I apologized.

“Babe wait...it’s not you.”

I jogged out of the room and went to the bathroom. He couldn’t even lie. He saw nothing in me but a rape victim. He was so good at being intimate, I’ve felt his penis arise before but when I’d think we’d have sex, he’d stop. I don’t know what that meant, either about him or me.

I felt my heart beating vigorously against my chest as I looked into the mirror. I saw his bite marks on my skin, on my neck and they did not at all return a good memory. I sank back into a deep hole, where I again remembered everything. The day I was found deserted in the school’s restrooms, naked and paralyzed.

I could see my victimized body cold on the wet floor, shivering. I remembered the face that licked mine. I remembered wanting to speak or move, but couldn’t. I fought for one thing that morning: to keep breathing. I had to keep breathing.

I instantly felt myself hyperventilate again, feeling dizzy as the room became smaller and began spinning. I hated the feeling, of being not in control when it happened. THE FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. It frightened me.

I saw my reflection in the mirror, I hated it. Why was it crying? Why did it look so weak and victimized? Why did it look so wrong?

I looked at its arms, I looked at mine and screaming lashes of scratch-marks tattooed on my arms suddenly became irritating, so felt the sensation in my nails as well.

“Babe, no.”

My eyes sank back to reality. But I stood there frozen. Benjamin wrapped himself around me from behind, chaining my arms between his. He put his forehead on my shoulder. I could feel wet tears from my back.

“Benjamin...when you look at me, what do you see?”

“I see my boyfriend.”

I unwrapped him from me and turned to look at him. “Why can’t you be more than intimate with your boyfriend, Benjamin?”

“Babe...”

“And remember the rule before you lie, Benjamin.”

He sighed. He looked away from me. “I didn’t think you’d want sex after what happened to you. I thought you had it with Gabriel because both of you were high that night. I don’t want to be drunk or high to have sex with you neither do I want you to think this is about you.”

“Of course this is about me,” I spoke despondently. “I dated you because I thought you saw more than that. You can’t even admit to yourself that you’re disgusted by the picture of us having sex.” Tears continued falling down my eyes.

“No no...babe....”

“Remember the rule before you speak, Benjamin.”

“Adrian, I love you okay? I’m sorry.”

“You love me but you hate my body?”

He growled furiously. “Stop putting words into my mouth, Adrian!”

My eyes widened. He had never used that tone with me before. “You can’t lie your way out of this one. I need to use the bathroom.” I said with my head down.

He sighed and stormed out. I did my daily morning routine, washing my body as well. The body everyone hated. The body so shameful that I will always be a rape victim, one that cannot put his past behind him and be something other than that. I knew at some point the conversation about sex would break us apart, but I didn’t want to lose him. Now it does seem as if I am.

I didn’t take long. I was quick to jump out of the water, moisturize and attire myself in a gown.

“Adrian. Someone’s at the door.” Benjamin yelled.

I quickly rushed into my slippers and ran to the door. Benjamin’s face snarled as he backed away from the door. I traced the resentment and acrimony written in his face as he disappeared into the lounge. I stepped out to the door to see who this person was.

“Hey.”

My heart, for long seconds, froze. “Alan?”

“At least you could pretend to be happy to see me.”

“Why would I be?”

“Because I found the person you’re looking for.” He smiled.

I looked at him, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“He wasn’t in Bellington, but in Nahoo. They were hunting Jeremiah down.”

“They? Who’s they? How do you know about this?”

“Craig informed me. I’m only part of it because I have your best interests at heart.”

“Pfft! Then you wouldn’t have left me for other women and men, Alan.”

“I know that now. We can’t fix a broken mirror, you have Benjamin now and that makes me happy. I could have been the jealous ex-boyfriend who threw eggs at my ex-boyfriend’s house and car but...I kinda deserved that. I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“You’re right. We can’t really undo the done. It’s okay, I forgive you.”

He opened his arms. “Hug?”

I winced. “No. Probably not. Benjamin’s on the other side of the room.”

“Right.”

“Where are they? The rest?” I asked.

“They’re still at Craig’s. Craig is with Jeremiah and the captives.”

“How may captives are there?” My eyebrow furrowed.

“You’ll see.”

“Benjamin knows. Can he come with?”

“He owns a gun, so yeah.” He shrugged. “Do you want to get dressed, or...?”

“Oh no. Benjamin and I will meet you guys at Craig’s.”

“Right. Bye.” He whispered. He waved and walked to his car. Benjamin stood behind me when he heard the engine roar, insinuating that Alan was leaving. When Alan’s car drove off, he stormed back inside the lounge.

I followed him to the lounge. “I didn’t know he was going to be part of it.”

“Sure you didn’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You knew Alan would be involved in your shenanigans, especially dirty games like this one.”

“I had no idea, otherwise I wouldn’t have been part of it! He seems to be having my best interests in heart. Do you?”

He sighed, his face unwinding. “Of course I do.”

“Then you better get dressed. I don’t have time talking you out of self-pity!” I left him in the lounge and ran to the room to get dressed. That day, I had worn my blue denim jeans, a random oversized long-sleeved shirt owned by Benjamin and sneakers. I folded the sleeves as they covered my hands.

“We need to make up a new rule,” Benjamin commanded.

“Okay?”

“We don’t fight, we don’t ever think of breaking up...we talk things out.” Benjamin’s eyes teared. “Okay?”

“Benjamin...I might be pissed, but that doesn’t mean we’re breaking up.” I could feel my face suddenly turning sympathetic. “I love you, okay? Fine, I agree with the rule. Whatever’s going on in our relationship now, we’ll figure it out...and go to therapy if we have to.”

“You hate therapy.” His eyes narrowed in disbelief.

“I do.” I smiled.

He gave me five pecks on my forehead. “I love you too.”

He threw on a matching denim jean with space jams. He also wore a random shirt, but it wasn’t so random to him. It looked smart and fashionable. Plus, he liked tucking his shirts. I didn’t. For the first time, he combed his hair.

“You’re combing your hair?”

“I am.”

“Things are about to change,” I whispered to myself as I walked out.

“I heard that!!” He yelled from the room.

I made cereal for both of us, knowing that he didn’t respect breakfast as the essential meal of the day. I hated it when he sped off without eating anything. There were days I had to run to his car to give him lunch before he drove off to work.

He came from the room, still fiddling with his belt. “You know I don’t eat cereal.”

“Eat your cereal, Benjamin.” I gave him a look, one that reprimanded.

He sighed and began eating.

After being done with everything he left. We left in his mustang. And then I began thinking of what I was about to do. I wondered how would I be able to cope with another amount of blood in my hands? As much as I believed that we were taking matters into our own hands, and that could get us arrested, I remembered again that we were saving more lives than we took, as we were about to do so again.

I looked at Benjamin. I loved him, I admitted this to myself. I just didn’t want him to be involved. Maybe that’s what love is. Love is never asked for, but it comes automatically towards you, even when you least anticipate it. It comes knocking at your door, saves you like Prince Charming and saves you from pain and misery. Benjamin was that. He was love in the form of a person. He loved me so much, he supported every decision. Like Mia, she was loyal towards her significant other and never gave Niall room to doubt her.

I smiled to myself as I took his free hand into mine. He smiled, looking at me once before looking ahead. God, he was beautiful too. Despite the fights, I loved how far we came. Benjamin crushed on me for the longest time, even before I did. He thought I was beautiful. Sometimes he gave me these blank stares as if he was just relishing everything about me. His eyes spoke a lot for him, more than his actions did.

We arrived at Craig’s apartment. Benjamin’s disgusting pop music was banging in the stereo, loud enough to attract Jason outside, who happened to be shirtless. He was only attired in blue summer shorts and flip flops. We got out of the car and walked towards him. He seemed more composed than I was. “Hey Tennyson. Adrian.” He nodded.

“Is Craig in?” Benjamin asked.

“No, he’s in Nahoo though.”

“What’s with the black cars?” I asked, as my eyes looked around and it was all types of black cars. A van, a convertible, a ‘normal’ car and a minibus. There was Alan’s car too, which was also black.

“I don’t know. Creeps me out too.” Jason, who I didn’t see had alcohol in his hand, drank a cider.

“Are you coming with? To Nahoo?” Benjamin asked.

“I’ll probably be asleep in the car anyway. Craig said he doesn’t want me to be part of it.”

“Right.” I walked inside. There was clamour in the lounge. Everyone looked relaxed. So the anxiety was only on me? “Hey?” I greeted, trying to sound casual. Everyone who was there yesterday was there, except Craig. “Where’s Craig?”

“He’s in Nahoo. Hey Tennyson.” Sebastian answered.

“Sup. Are we ready to go, or?” Benjamin shoved what I assumed was a gun behind his back.

“Of course. We were just waiting for you.” William answered. “Hey, Adrian.” His voice dropped when he spoke to me. You’d think it was seduction, judging from Benjamin’s expression he thought it was too, but that was how he spoke to me ever since we were friends. He would speak to me like I was a child. I had no idea why.

“Hey,” I responded sheepishly.

I hugged Mia, who seemed more subdued than usual. We didn’t share words but looks. I could imagine how she felt.

They all stood up. Jason grabbed a big black sport’s bag and loped with it outside. Alan came out from the restroom, I could tell from his wet hands. “Hey. You’re here. Great. Craig’s ahead. I know the directions.” He smiled at me.

My eyebrow furrowed. Benjamin stormed out. I followed him. Everyone got in the cars and Benjamin’s car had Jason and Elijah in it. He was first to drive off, even though he had no idea where we were going.

I got in the convertible with William. His engine roared when the ignition started. This startled me a bit, which made him smile in return. We sped off. I then became nervous. I was afraid of the stereotypes I’ve heard about Nahoo. Brown skin naked men and women who ate people. I thought as far as a village or a jungle.

The cars dispersed and William did not all at seem concerned. “Why are we scattering?” I looked at William.

“Black cars following each other? That’s a bit scandalous, don’t you think?”

“I see.” I sighed. “William...I’m nervous.”

“You seriously don’t have to be part of this. Mia was saying the same thing too...she doesn’t think she can be in the same room with him.” His eyes focused on the road, never looking at me.

“I want to be.”

“Trust me, you don’t.”

I looked at him. More anxiety grew in my veins, but I tried to keep myself calm. The beautiful Belvyn dams and mountains on the outskirts of the town managed to calm me down. Belvyn wasn’t popular. The town only had about 4300 citizens and a poor tourist attraction. However, it was located in one of the best and preferable climatic regions in the country, hence my dad moved here with mom.

Moreover, Belvyn had beautiful forests, dams, amusement parks, parks, swimming pool centres, swamps, campsites and a beautiful beach in Nahoo, the secluded neighbouring village fourteen kilometres away from town. The town also had exquisite resorts and prestigious suburbs such as Alicedale, New Heights and Garden Heights. The town wasn’t so bad, however, it was still a town. There were places such as Bellington, Maycomb, Crane Hills, New Rocks and the CBD itself that needed proper infrastructure and basic human needs.

I looked at William, who looked back at the road immediately. “You’re liking the view?” He said.

“Yeah. It’s beautiful.”

“You remember how you wouldn’t stop fangirling over Crane Park? You were in love with every animal, everything.” He laughed.

“Belvyn is beautiful, yeah.” I smiled. “If only the mayor paid attention to his town, this place would have been a standout.”

“Yeah, it’s crazy. But there are beautiful parts of this town that just make you feel much better when you see ’em. I drive here very frequently.”

I looked at him with a smile. “Really?”

“Yeah. If I’m not in Lake Smith, I’m driving around these places. The drive gives me so much peace, you know? Sometimes I’d go to Nahoo beach and chill till dusk.”

“Nahoo? Aren’t you afraid of...”

“C’mon now, Adrian. You’re smarter than that. You really believed all the stuff they say about Nahoo? The cannibals and naked brown men and women? To be honest, Nahoo is exactly where I’d spend the rest of my life. The place is much prettier than you’d expect.”

“I see.” I smiled at him.

We finally arrived in Nahoo. I could also see the other black cars following us now. The village was not a village at all. It was petite, yes, but very suitable. The houses were all vintage and small, the infrastructure was much more developed than where I was coming from. It was Utopia. I didn’t see naked people, but people of fashionable taste instead.

“William...” I softly gasped, admiring every part of Nahoo. “It’s beautiful.”

“Told you.”

Then my excitement decelerated when the car parked in what looked like a haunted house, far from the CBD of Nahoo. The other cars came to a halt as well. Yep, that was exactly where we were going. The village also didn’t seem to have a police station, which for some reason worried me. I looked at William before stepping out of the car. I looked at Mia, who also got out of one of the black cars. Jason too.

Everyone, except those who knew the place, seemed frightened. I walked towards Mia, who was trembling. “You don’t have to be in there.”

“Do you?” She tried to smile.

“Fair point.”

She held my hand. Everyone walked in in silence. Benjamin was already inside.

We got inside and it was a huge, empty hall. The floor was dusty and the windows were so high up, they were so close to the ceiling. I saw a silhouette tied up in a chair, then saw two. Craig and a few other high school kids look-like punched one of the silhouettes. I knew them from Bellington. Mike, Walter and Jake. They would have smiled at me if the time was convenient.

“What the fuck is going on here? Gabriel?” Jason yelled furiously.

My eyes widened. I could feel Mia’s eyes on me as my eyes could not believe what they saw. Benjamin walked to me and stood next to me. “Craig, why is Gabriel tied in a chair?” I asked. “Niall?”

I looked at Niall. He was covered in blood, bruises and cuts. But not at all did Mia flinch or cringe. She looked at him like the sight of him like that brought her more gratitude than she ever imagined. I, on the other hand, was still displeased. Why was Gabriel tied up? They were both almost fully naked, covered in blood and tied up in chairs with their mouths shut with duct tape. Why Gabriel?

I walked to Niall and took off his duct tape. “Why is Gabriel here?”

“Hey, gorgeous.” He replied.

“Not even bruises and cuts can humble that ego of yours.” I snarled.

He scoffed with a weak smile. His eyes were half-opened. I looked at Gabriel. I got so mad, yet so defensive. I wanted to hear an explanation that determined that Gabriel wasn’t guilty of what I assumed he was of. I looked at him, he looked away. I took off his duct tape as well.

“Craig...why is Gabriel here?”

“He’s a traitor.”

“LIAR!” Gabriel yelled. “Son, don’t believe the things he’ll say to you. They’re all lying.”

Craig scoffed, walking towards me. “I’m sure some of you, like Mia and Adrian, are wondering why Gabriel is tied up in a chair like this rascal right here. It’s simple...he’s a traitor. A liar.”

My eyebrow furrowed. “Why would he...”

“Adrian, the reason why he came back to you was that he had agreed to Niall to kill you. He never liked you, he wanted his own friends dead.” Craig walked around the captives calmly, like he was storytelling to kids. “Niall offered Gabriel money to kill all three of them dead...”

He dragged three body bags from behind them and it was Sam, Ben and Cain dead. Mia covered her eyes. “That’s why he spent so much time in Bellington. To get guns to plot on three murders. Gabriel offered to kill you himself if it meant that he’d get enough money to pay his dad, who also happens to have some businesses going on in both Alex and Bellington too. He brought you closer with sex, intimacy, support...all that was to make you weak so that you fall for him deeply, only for him to fucking kill you afterwards...

Niall was leaving town when we found him. Gabriel got this...” He took out something from a black bag. It was a huge assassin rifle. “So as to take you out, take out Niall’s ex Mia and her father inconspicuously and his very own father eventually. So...why did he kill Ben, Cain and Sam? Because they all had incriminating child pornography evidence that could send Niall to jail and Gabriel agreed to eradicate his friend Ben and the rest...all for fucking money. After they received letters, they wanted to do better. They sympathized with you after this bastard and his minions raped you. He agreed to kill you because he hated you personally...”

Gabriel hyperventilated. “Adrian...babe....”

“SHUUUT UUUUUP!” I shrieked with tears above Gabriel’s head. I walked up to him. He stank. “Why would you do this to me, Gabriel?”

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to get out of my old timer’s house. That bastard abused me! I would have done anything, I mean anything, to get out of town to start a new life. It’s not your fault. I’m the selfish one here who hurt you to make me happy. I’m sorry.” Gabriel’s eyes teared.

Sebastian walked towards me. “Look, Adrian, whatever you decide, I’m here to support you.”

“All of us.” Benjamin smiled.

“Well...” In an instant, I managed to pull out Sebastian’s gun from his back in a millisecond before anyone could react. When they acknowledged that I was holding a gun, everyone froze. “Perfect!” I grinned demonically.

Sebastian backed away from me. Everyone did. “Jesus! Adrian, what are you doing?”

“Adrian, PUT THAT GUN DOWN! NOW!!” Craig, from behind me, yelled.

“Craig...step away from me, I don’t want to hurt you.” I looked back at him with a smile.

Now it felt like I was going crazy, like the time David had taught me how to use a gun and I ended up pointing it at him absentmindedly. Niall and Gabriel both looked uniformly terrified. I walked around them with a smile. Benjamin’s eyes were widened. Mike, Jake and Walter only watched with their guns lowered. I felt crazier the minute I lit a cigarette. “Niall...when you rape, do you reflect?”

“What the fuck do you mean?”

“Let me repeat...do you reflect on the things you do? Who it hurts and who gets affected? Do you ever consider that whatever you do has a certain impact on societies? I can’t take my boyfriend out for a date because I’m scared you might show up.

I can’t have and enjoy sex with him because of you, Niall. My boyfriend can’t look at my body without thinking ‘rape victim’...all because of you.” I continued to smoke, as I spoke in a controlled, monotone voice. “So do you, Niall?”

“I don’t.”

"When I kill you now, do you question yourself where will you go?”

“No.” He looked at me, as if I had asked a stupid question.

“When you killed Daniel, did you consider who it would affect?”

“No.” He laughed.

“When you raped me, licked my face and moaned inside my ear...did you ever consider that would be a tragic and traumatic event that could ever happen to someone’s life? My pain for your gratitude? How do you think other women feel about what you did? About what you did to Calvin, Elijah and he did to me as a result? Do you even think about Sandra?”

“I do.”

“And how we all felt after you raped and tormented us?”

“No.”

“Of course you didn’t. So, do you think you deserve to be spared your life?”

He paused for a long while. I saw his face suddenly becoming reflective, and not at all did it make a smile on his face, or that disgusting smug he liked. “No.” But suddenly, the disgusting smug came back on his face. “You probably can’t even use that thing, you faggot!”

I pointed the gun to his head with a grin. “O-kay then. Let’s see what this button can do.” My finger hugged the trigger and an ear-sore sound went off, creating a frightening echo throughout the house in split seconds. The echo made Mia scream, but I didn’t look to prove to myself she was crying. Either way, I had lost all sympathy. The bullet had gone through his skull like an explosion. His skull had splattered into nothing but blood puke.

“Adrian...you can’t kill two people at a time. You could go to...”

“Go to jail?” I looked at Craig with a smile. “I’d go to jail gladly knowing I had killed these two bastards dead. You thought I’d sit by and observe, Craig?” I absentmindedly gazed at the gun, and inadvertently, it pointed at Craig.

“Adrian...you’s pointing the gun at me.”

“I know. I love you too much to kill you.” I smiled at him. Yep, I was going crazy. And not at all did I feel guilty about shooting Niall dead. I looked at Gabriel and my smile attenuated. This time, I couldn’t pretend. I was hurt and felt betrayed. I was confused, which brought tears into my eyes. “You came when no one cared about me, Gabriel. The most down pat time when you just heard that I was gang-raped by five men who you probably knew. You betrayed me for money, Gabriel. You listened to me as I compared you to my father, but you’re just a mutt.

You left after we had sex because you knew I’d crave and need you again. You knew my history with Alan...” I looked at Alan, who was looking back at me calmly. “How you told me he was shit and didn’t deserve me. Told me that Sebastian was a cheating bastard who also didn’t deserve me...only to lure me closer to your plan to eradicate me. You killed three people for this dead bastard next to you...all for money. You killed Ben. You told me Daniel killed himself when you knew he fucking didn’t. I have to give it to you, you got your claws so deep into my skin, sooo deep, your plan could have worked successfully.

But your father is mad. Your father doesn’t care about you. He has made you his very own enemy. Little did he know he raised a monster just like him. You are his product. You wanted more when you had everything. You wanted cooler things, cooler people to hang out with, a cooler dad. No one wants you now...I certainly don’t.”

“I know.”

“But you chose to be a jerk anyway.” I smiled above his head from behind. I ashed the depleting cigarette on his neck, making him scream for his life. “Fuck you, Gabriel! FUCK...YOU!” I screamed in deep anguish and fury.

I cocked the gun. Everyone was still silent, watching. Gabriel’s eyes widened, suddenly aware he was about to die too. He looked at Niall, who had his scattered skull lowered to his lifeless thighs, bleeding. He, Gabriel, knew he was dying at that moment. “Just please...spare my life. I can do better now that Niall isn’t around. We can spend more time together, I will be loyal to you and you only...that’s only if you spare my life. My father will find you if you do and he won’t spare your life.”

“What makes you think your father cares about you? Your father thinks you’re dead!”

His eyes widened. “Son...please. I know you still love me.”

I smiled as I pointed the gun at him. A gunshot went off.

I never looked back. I looked around and everyone was still frightened. I put the gun down and walked out of the house. Craig followed. I race-walked to William’s car, but Craig’s hand quickly caught my wrist. “Wait.”

“You’re going to give me a lecture about how I should have let you...”

“No. Come here.” He pulled me to him and embraced me.

I didn’t want to be weak, but that was Craig. He made me weak, his cologne made me weak. I failed to be strong when I was around him, maybe I was for him but failed dismally for myself. I let it overwhelm me, the past minutes. I had acknowledged that I killed someone and not at all did I feel guilty. I just felt scared, as if something would happen otherwise.

“You didn’t kill Gabriel.” He whispered above my head. “Why?”

“He reminds me of my father.” I got off him. “I know he wouldn’t hurt me again.”

“How? How do you know that?”

“No one is going to kill him, Craig. Do we understand each other?” I looked in his eyes.

“No, I don’t.”

“You don’t have to. It’s my decision and you all promised to support me. Tell Benjamin I’m ready to go home.”

I may have burned him with a cigarette, but indeed I couldn’t live without him. I thought of a tragic world when I imagined. Gabriel had almost killed me because of desperation. I knew Mr Greene was not at all a polite man, little did I know he had business in Bellington and what kind.

But I wanted Gabriel to live. To be what I imagined him to be. A protector. I believed in redemption, that one can recollect his broken self into a whole mirror that makes sense again. I believed in a lot of things that never made sense, including letting the man that betrayed me free. But why didn’t I do the same for Niall? Spare his life?

Because he had no will to change. I saw it in him. He was still the perverted narc that wanted to fuck more assess and pussies. I saw no redemption in him and neither did he let me. He was willing to hurt more people to grant himself pleasure and the hurt had to end. I had to do something about the hurt, which I did.

Benjamin returned from the house and with a snarl and walked past me, filled with disgust and rage. I felt the cold breeze as he passed by. I froze. I watched him as he got inside his mustang and instantly drove off.

“He’ll be alright, Adrian.”

“He won’t. He just witnessed his boyfriend kill someone. He’s probably wondering why I spared Gabriel’s life when he did almost the same damage as Niall.”

“I also wonder, Adrian.”

“You don’t have to understand.” I looked down as tears fell again. Craig, in silence, embraced me from behind.

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