As predicted, I wake in the morning, look in the mirror to see bruises upon bruises.
Even though I seen it coming, does not mean I wasn’t shocked. I nearly screamed at my image.
Half my face was sore from the slap and just in my hairline was a deep purple bruise from the impact of the wall.
My shoulder was sore and blue, as well as my hip. My elbow, although not marked, still hurts like a bitch to move. So pretty much my whole left side.
I have tiny brown/blue bruises on my waist where he was holding me, no doubt because of how much I struggled.
I really don’t want to go to school today but I’ve had too many days off already and I only started 4 weeks ago.
I showered for an hour, scrubbing until my whole body was red.
I feel so disgusting, I feel dirty. The fact that he was touching me. It wasn’t exactly what you may call in an ‘inappropriate way’, he didn’t touch me...in ‘bad places’. But it was the fact that he had his hands on me.
The little bruises on my waist from his fingers make me sick. I can see exactly where he was holding me, each finger.
The worst thing is, I have Science today. It’s my last lesson of the day and I’m terrified he’s going to keep me behind. I have to get Becks to stay back with me somehow.
I want Oliver so bad. He makes me feel safe and happy but Mr Kyle told me to stay away.
I hate myself for crying in front of him. I hate myself for being so weak. I hate myself for letting him comfort me. I hate myself for giving up the fight. I hate that I let him call me all those stupid ‘pet names’. I hate everything about how I acted.
I feel so exposed because I know he has pictures of me, pictures that are of me naked, I don’t know to what extent but he’s seen me.
He’s seen my body. My legs, chest, stomach, breasts. That picture, I was only wearing underpants. What if he’s seen all of me?
I feel so sick thinking about it. He’s been watching me for weeks without me knowing. He’s been taking pictures of me for weeks without me knowing.
That night I heard a click, I knew it was a camera. I knew it!
The tears start to well up but this time I refuse to cry about it so I choke them back down. I can’t keep thinking about it all, every time I do I get more and more terrified.
I get dressed and make my way to school.
The whole day has been normal so far, Becks hasn’t quizzed me on why I wasn’t in Art which is surprising since she’s a naturally nosey person.
I told her Miss Lotts and Mr Kyles names. That seemed to distract her enough to leave me alone for the time being.
Science with Mr Kyle.
I’ve been dreading it all day. I came up with a teeny plan. I asked Becks to get ice cream with me after school and that I was paying.
She can’t resist food. But the place I chose to go to shuts at 4, meaning she will be very persistent on leaving dead on 3:15 when the bell goes.
Since I asked her in Art, she hasn’t stopped going on about it. Unfortunately, she’s invited boys to come along. This includes Oliver.
I make my way up the horridly steep steps that lead to Mr Kyles classroom on the second floor. My hip starts hurting really bad as I walk, I hit the wall pretty hard on it.
I go to sit down when I realise Jacob and Oliver have swapped seats. I glare at Jacob who gives me the whole ‘oops’ look and holds his hands up in surrender.
I sit next to Oliver to feel someone’s gaze burn my head. I’m not looking up, it’s obvious who it is.
Not to my surprise, Mr Kyle asks me to stay behind just as Becks gets to his classroom. Becks immediately argues with him. When he told her to leave, she did but she said she’d stay directly behind the door and she even gave him a time limit.
I love Becks.
As she left, she turned around smugly “see you in 5, Damian.”
For fucks sake Becks! Did she have to do that?!
Still sitting down at my desk, I watch him walk over to the door and shut it. He then turns around and, painfully slowly, walks over to me. I immediately flinch as he steps directly in front of me and squats down silently at the head of my desk to be level with me.
“You told her my name” he spoke in a calm voice like before. I nod slowly “why?”
“She likes to know teachers first names. I told her Miss Lotts too.” I only said that so he doesn’t think it was just him. Maybe he thinks I told her what happened... Fear consumes me “I didn’t tell her” I blurt out quickly.
I see him smile softly from the corner of my eye. “I know” he states as he reaches up to caress my face but I move out the way. He sighs and stands up “I thought I told you to stay away from Oliver.”
“T-that wasn’t my doing, they decided to s-swap seats” I fidget with my fingers in my lap as I nervously try to defend my helpless actions, I’ve not looked up to him since he came over, I don’t want to.
“I see. Casey, look at me.” He orders, when I don’t move, he grabs my chin making me panic and fight him by continually slapping his arms until he moves it away.
“4 minutes!” I hear Becks call from the door making me jump.
“Do you not understand the situation you’re in?” He growls behind gritted teeth.
“I understand what’s going on, yes. You’re blackmailing me not to say anything about the fact that you’re stalking, talking and touching me inappropriately.”
“I would hardly call it inappropriate touching” he huffs out a laugh.
“Teachers aren’t allowed to touch students at all” venom dripping from my words as I finally look up to him with a glare. “What I don’t understand is why and what you want?”
“My sweet, innocent Casey. You’re so oblivious, aren’t you?” he successfully manages to catch my chin and caress my cheek with his thumb.
“You’re an asshole” my voice coated with hatred.
“Watch it” he warns, gripping my chin tighter.
“3 and a half minutes ” Becks shouts.
I love her so much right now.
I slap his hand away “You are, you are an asshole. I woke up today with so many bruises. Everything hurts.”
“Where are your bruises? Show me.”
“N-no. They are everywhere.” Is he serious?
“Show me.” He steps forward a little more and his voice is deeper than before, this was no longer a request, it was a demand. He was serious.
Out of anger I move my hair that I had used to cover up the bruise on the side of my head “here.” I slightly move my collar to reveal my blue shoulder and collar “here. I also have bruises on my hip. And you so kindly left five little ones from your disgusting fingers on my waist when you were holding me down.”
A shiver goes up my spine from just saying it.
He looks at me almost amused but also bored “I apologise. Come here” he beckons holding out his hand for me to take.
“Why?” I ask unsure.
“Just come here.”
“2 minuets. Come on guys.” Becks yells.
I hesitantly take his hand and he pulls me by my arm so I move forward. He leans over cupping both sides of my head with his hands, keeping me steady as he kisses the bruise on the side of my head. He then looks into my eyes before putting a hand on my good shoulder, kissing my other shoulder on top my jumper.
“If I could, I would kiss every bruise you have. But I fear you wouldn’t like that much, would you?” I shake my head and back away, he smiles “don’t worry, I won’t. Besides your little friend is just outside.”
“Guys, come on.” Becks sighs, sounding fed-up.
He looks to the door, pinch’s the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a second “your friend is very irritating and persistent. Smart move keeping her close. But she can’t help you” he smiles at me.
It wasn’t a normal smile. I don’t know what he was feeling but that smile scared the shit out of me. I started to shake.
“Look at you. That ‘deer caught in headlights’ look. Fucking adorable.” He pushes me back to the wall behind. It wasn’t a violent push it was almost gentle “it’s one of the many reasons, why I have to have you.”
He put his hands on my hips and my hands immediately went to his chest pushing him away but it had no affect. I breathed in ready to talk or scream, I don’t really know. I just wanted to get Becks attention.
“Ah, ah. Shush my love” he coos putting his hand over my mouth. I hate it when he does that. The false sense of security.” How about we make a deal, hum?” He moved his hand. “Let me kiss you” he spoke with so much need and desire, it shocked me. I shook my head frantically “let me kiss you and I’ll leave you be for a few days” he bargained.
What did he mean a few days?
Although he asked and tried to bribe me, he didn’t actually wait for an answer. Within a second he slammed his lips on mine and started to kiss me passionately. As I tried to move away his hands went to my jaw and behind my neck. I couldn’t move away.
I didn’t kiss back, why would I?
He groaned slightly on my mouth and pulled away.
“Fuck” he huffed under his breath. I stood shocked.
That was my first kiss. He took my first kiss. I touched my lips and I could feel his saliva still on them. I rubbed my face on my shoulder and spat on the ground. He just laughed at my actions. “Oh honey, you’re adorable” he stepped away from me.
“30 seconds guys, then I’m coming in” Becks screeched.
“you can come in now, Rebecca” he called her in and in less than a second Becks enters the classroom.
“Come on Cas. You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Becks grabs my bag and hurried me out the classroom. “Bye Damian” she waves and he sends her a glare.