46 - As much as I can give right now
I couldn’t believe I made a deal with him. Would I really tell him my deepest darkest secrets and why I hated my father so much? He surely had to know that part of my life being mafia, he had to know who he was dealing with, including his family. I guess they can’t find everything out. I guess parts of my life were well hidden, unless I wish to disclose it.
It has been the first time he has actually taken time to talk to me I know he is keeping something from me, but I guess it’s as much as he can give right now he doesn’t know me enough to trust me and vice versa. It has everything to do with my farther and Andrew.
With Andrew the world always seemed to revolve around him when we were at school. I’d grown up with him, my mother hated him they say hate is such a strong word but she did. Andrew was one of those children that had everything given to him on a silver platter and nothing less was expected. He had friends or followers; they were all elites like him, their parents owning various Business complexes, hotels, apartments over priced ones at that. They had made a good name for themselves, a lot of kids, teachers and parents even feared the Andres why I never knew we always got on even if my parents weren’t to keep on is being friends. He got on with my friends. They were social around him and they tolerated him and his friends for my sake.
He was like a lost puppy around some in high school if my friends weren’t there he would be. There had been tlsk that our relationship was unhealthy cause he was so clingy I never knew why until we were in year ten and he told me he’d had a crush on me since we were four and on time it grew he then went onto telling me he’d fallen deeply in love with me and he wanted to proove just how much if I agreed to going steady with him. I had agreed not realising how possessive he really was by the summer term. I had no choice but to call it off he was too overbearing I hardly saw my friends and we all knew it was because of him.
Yes I lost my vaginitis to him, no one knows the full story about that and I’d rather keep that information to myself.
It wasn’t the best part of my life. I was in a dark place anc Andrew just happened to be there and it happened so quickly and I honestly regretted the day I lost my virginity to him. I wished I had waited, it was a big mistake. I expected him to leave me like any normal hormonal teenage boy, but no not this one, not Andrew Anders he had plans for the both of us big plans and I for one wasn’t sticking around to find out waht they were things were only bound to get worse in our relationship he thought he held the apron strings, but he was wrong, so fucking wrong.
I don’t like being told what to do, where to go, whom with, who to choose as my firends and thsts what would’ve hapepend if I’d stayed around much longer, he would’ve made sure to take me away from my firends so thst I would never see them again then my family I came dead with not being in contact with my father but not my mother she is my rock like she was when the asshole got me uo the duff I had no choice but to have an abortion or I’d be stuck in hell right now. I don’t bleive in them but it was for the best, the right thing to do at the time I had to get rid of him for good and if he knew I was carrying his child he would’ve made me keep it and I’d be tied done to him forever no fucking thank you.
I guess my situation here isn’t much different in a logical way of thinking, just a different situation. I was stuck here with a mafia lord and his army with no way back home. I gues I’d never have that to look forward to my dad wouldnt flight uo all he owed to Dominique he was a self absorbed asshole prick who only thoght abotu hims self and fuck those who cared my mom made the right dessision to devorse his sorry ass I just wished it was come I may not be out here right now with a guy hell bent on getting every penny back before he returns me to my home. Like that will ever happen. That will only happen if hell freezes over and that’s not going to happen any time soon cause sooner or later they will have to find a place there for my father and his associates, if they’re not already there.
Lucien looked at me. « Votre Dom qui fronce les sourcils. » (Your frowning Dom.)
‘Je suis?’ (I am?)
« Oui, je pensais que tu étais allé au champ de tir extérieur pour voir comment Amy se débrouillait ? » (Yes you are, I thought you went to the outdoor firing range to see how Amy was getting on?)
‘J’ai fait.’ ‘I did.’
- Alors elle n’était pas aussi bonne que Christophe le prétendait ? (So she wasn’t as good as Christophe made her out to be?)
I looked at him and smirked. ‘Tu sais que nous ne faisons pas ça Dom.’ (Better she never lost concentration even when I was talking to her.)
‘Je connais .’ (You know we don’t do that Dom.)
« Alors pourquoi l’avez-vous fait ? » (So why did you?)
“J’avais besoin de savoir ce qu’elle ressentait pour Andrew Anders, donc je savais exactement combien de sécurité il fallait mettre en place autour de cet endroit.” (I needed to know how she felt about Andrew Anders so I knew exactly how much security to put in around this place.)
« Et qu’a-t-elle dit ? » (And what did she say?)
«Elle a tiré une balle dans le crâne de la cible, puis a dit:« Vous vouliez savoir ce que je pensais d’Andrew Andres? C’est ce que je pense de lui.” (She put a bullet through the target’s skulls then said “You wanted to know what I thought of Andrew Andres? That’s what I think of him.)
‘N’est-ce pas.’ (I know right.)
« Alors qu’est-ce que vous froncez les sourcils ? (So what are you frowning at?
‘Nous avons une entente.’ (We made a deal.)
« Quel genre d’accord ? » (What kind of deal?)
« Si elle me parlait de son passé, je lui dirais le mien. » (If she told me about her past I’d tell her mine.)
‘Merde, Dom, es-tu prêt à raconter toute la merde qu’Anders a causée à nos familles ?’ (Shit fuck Dom are you ready to bring up all the shit the Anders caused to our families?)
« Je ne sais pas, je vais devoir en discuter avec André. » (I don’t know, I’ll have to discuss it with Andre.)
« Quoi qu’il arrive s’il est d’accord, je suis avec toi Dom. » (Whatever happens if he agrees then I’m with you Dom.)
‘Merci mec.’ (Thanks bro.)
I’d have to eventually come to terms with our pasts but would it ever be enough to give as I can give right now? I’ve never disclosed this information before and I was not even sure if I could right now. This is as much as I can give right now.