49 - My past
He moved away from me smirking like he’d won the grand prize or something. ‘Fine if it comes that we have to marry I want to know everything about you.’
‘Deal if you tell me all about you first.’
I looked at him. Was he serious right now?
‘I’m being serious Amy, if I tell you my past you have to share you’re too.’
‘Fine.’ I sighed. ‘Deal.’
He stared at me. ‘What now?’
‘I can’t see a better time to do this.’
‘Okay.’ I freaked heavily.
I had never shared my past with anyone apart from Dan and
Deon. I trusted them with my heart and they too in the end deceived me, but I guess I’ll have to see his face everyday for the rest of my life cause I know my dad won’t pay up. I was surprised he even gave him half to tell you the truth.
I wasn’t totally ready for any of this. I knew my father well; he got into debt and never paid it back. I was glad when my mom finally decided to listen to me and finally get divorced from him.
I guess I’d have to come clean about my past if we were to go forward. He needed to as well. I know it was painful for him. I saw in his eyes something bad had happened and his past and I really didn’t think he was ready to relive it but we had to get past this so we could start a fresh. What am I even saying I didn’t want this but what choice did I have my fathers the biggest asshole I ever met. He’d sell everything he owned to pay back those that were a threat or to get him out of shot including his wife and his only daughter.
I was sitting next to Dominique. I was getting more comfortable around him these past weeks. Though what he’s just done was disrespectful he hadn’t even consulted me on how I would feel about any of this and it had narked me to no end and I think he knew he had. But I decided to play at his own game and agree on the terms and tell him if we were to marry we had to tell each other everything about each other before we did. What I did not expect was for him to agree, now we are sitting here in complete silence neither of us saying anything this was a hard topic for me. And equally for him. So where do I start?’
He slipped a strand of hair behind my ear, I shuddered, he smirked. Caressing my cheek. ‘You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, my fiery flower.’
‘I know.’ I sighed. ‘I know you don’t want to talk about your past Dominique.’
‘Call me Dom. Neither of us want to talk about what happened before we met, but it’s best if we get it off our chests to completely understand each other.’
I nodded, this would be the first time that we’ve actually sat down and talked, just talked, in sexual frustration on his part. I know only too well with his banter he wants more but I’m not sure what more entails. I’m not sure that I’m quite ready for another guy like Andrew Anders. I’m a free speaker, a kindred spirit and I think he knows that form how freely he lets me speak. I took a deep breath. ‘Okay I’m ready now.’
His dark eyes are on me making me more nervous than I already am about sharing my past with him.
He brushed my cheek with his hand. ‘Take your time Amy. I know how hard it can be when it comes to a past you wish to not be reminded of, a past that haunts you and one which you wish to forget and put behind you.’
He knew it so well I felt close to him closer than I have for the past few weeks I’m finally going to get the real him max he’ll get to know the real me though he knows some of it obviously but not a lot it it’s confidential, not even Dan knows all of it and he’s the closest family I have.
I shifted looking directly at him. I must admit he’s a handsome man with strong demeanour of authority held in his voice and the way he carried himslef the bog scary dude I first met is still there, but I can finally relax around him knowing that he’ll never kill me. ‘I was ten when it all started.’ I sighed.
‘My father was never a patient man, he was an angry man. He had a high powered job that caused him to be a tight fisted bastard in every way.’ I hissed out angrily. ‘We were fine when I was growing up soon all of that changed once my mom refused to give him any more children a heir to be more precise. He took it out on me cause I wasn’t a boy a boy who he could train to be like him, the irony.’ I laughed. ’What happens to women’s rights? My dad was so old fashioned it was laughable. My mom was the best doctor I knew and he even tried to get her to leave her job so she could stay home and be at his beck and call. She disagreed and all hell broke loose. It was the first time ever I had seen him hit my mother.he called her a disrespectful whore who should know her place and her place was in the home cooking, cleaning and taking care of the brat she had conceived. Mom was fuming and she hit him for the first time ever telling him to never talk about me like that ever again. He didn’t care, the words that came out of his mouth were disgusting and degrading. They were still arguing when I snuck out of the house. I had no idea where I was going or where I would end up. My tears just kept coming and never stopped. I ended up outside a club in the backstreets of the city. It was a shit hole to be honest but I didn’t care. I never felt loved by my father and that daughter just proved how much he despised me forever being born.