Survival Journey

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Good Girl Gone Bad

"Strength isn't about
How much you
Can handle
Before you break.
It's about how much
You can endure
After you've
Been broken"

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This song "Things are Never Gonna be the same" by Jessica Mauboy is my personal favourite; somewhere down the road I felt the same. I was never the same person I was. Once I was "good girl" and now "Good Girl has Gone Bad".

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Though my grandfather warned my step-mother and kept close eyes on me, she never stopped abusing me; she would always find the ways to beat me one way or another. The threatening from my grandfather never worked on her after all she was a shameless bitch but my grandfather also never left a chance to insult and humiliate her Infront of others and family members. After he found out what she was doing to me he started loathing her more and more.

From the begining he never agreed for this marriage and never liked that woman and he started abhorring my father too for marrying the evil witch who was hell bent on destroying me and my life.

You know what's more nark is that nobody believed me; nobody trusted me; not my aunt; not my uncle, grand aunt or my elder cousin sister nobody gave me the benefit of doubt and you know what's more surprising not even my own father or brother trusted me on what was going on with me; on how that woman Polly was abusing me no they trusted her words upon mine and I became the ultimate liar and bad girl of the family who had destroyed the family image.

Though I was surrounded by a lot of people in my life but I was yet so alone in reality.

And as for her she still kept her facade of being a loving and caring step mother. She manipulated everyone in the family except my grandfather he was the only one who had faith in me and supported me. I mean everyone knew how she was but still they turned their back on me. I already expected that my dad and brother would support me but even they betrayed me. I don't know how I became the dirt to the family while she became the "good woman". I never got the story about what she told them and how she made them believe "I was the fallacious one".

I was more raged when my mother had the nerve to call me and ask what had I done; I mean where was she when I needed her and called her for her support but she was so busy with her life that she did not even received my call and now the fuck she was asking me what mistake had I done. I never expected her to believe me like everyone. Hey! Again I was at fault.

"After this incident Gone was the good girl and bad girl had emerged" I was torn and ripped apart by my own family. The very family I grew up to believe that they would support me, love me, care for me, protect me became my destroyer. The trust; the faith I had on me broke; it shattered me knowing that my very own family did not have faith on me; trust on me; they betrayed me and my trust; the one belief that family should be the safe place for children became a maimed for me.

This incident made me realise that you can't trust anyone not even your family members; either your father, mother and brother others were just secondary for me; made me realise that world is a cruel place to live and life is not a fairytale like it's described in a book.

My life upended; that woman my so called step mother changed my whole life. I started hating my life and my family members, the love and respect I had for my family was gone. My life was surrounded by darkness and hatred; gone was the bubbly happy girl; gone was the light from her life and eyes. I was broken to the point where i turned into a rebellious girl; I became a shoddy girl; nothing mattered to me anymore.

After all i had already became the atrocious girl in the family so what was the point of still being a virtuous girl.

"The shattering of a heart when being broken is the loudest quiet ever" by Carrol Bryant- resembled the situation of my splintered heart.

My heart was shattered like a thousand pieces of broken mirror.

And this was also the day from when I started thinking I was a cursed child with a cursed and tenebrous fate; this was the day my Ill fate started and I was doomed for life.

I felt like I was thrown into the depth of ocean 🌊 from where I can never survive from its strong wave of tide no matter how much I tried to save myself I was lost and wounded. I lost the meaning of living a happy life; I lost the hope that somebody would come and save me from this abused and damned life; I had given up at this point.

The never ending abuse and broken trust from my family had thrown me into a depression; I never thought in my life that I would be living a life like this; I never thought that I would be going through hell; there is a saying after death good people go to heaven and bad people to hell as for me I did not had to die to go to heaven or hell cause I was already living my life in hell. I don't knw what I did so wrong in my past life that I was suffering so much in my present life.

Each and every day I prayed to God that no other girl would suffer like I did; I prayed that no other girl would born into this kind of family where they turn their back on their children and leave them helpless and support less. I was so tired of fighting and crying; I was getting tired of everything and everyone which led me to make a harsh decision of my life which I never thought I would take.

Readers! then I was compelled to take a step which would completely change my life. Do you know what my next step was?

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