Survival Journey

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BrOkEn FaMiLy

"When you inherit a broken
Family, you can't throw it
Away and get a new one

What you can do is
Find People and situations
That provide for you
What your family cannot"

Iyanla Vanzant


After the separation of my parents our lives changed in the angle of 90 degree where we had to live with criticism, sympathy and pity for us in people's eye.

My dad literally became the mother and father for both of us, he started taking care of us and our needs. He became the mother who would bath us, cook for us, be there when we fall and hurt ourselves; he became our anchor in life. Though he was hurt and broken from inside after what happened between my mum and dad he actually never showed it to us and became strong for us.

I had always heard a story of my parents great love and how they fought against the family to be with each other and when my grand parents did not agree for their marriage they eloped and got married and how my uncle and aunt's sheltered them. It was only after a while my parents got accepted from both sides after lots of convincing from my relatives. I also heard that my father got slapped for eloping my mother. My father loved my mum a lot he had fulfilled every wish and demand of my mother.

After spending some days with my mom at our maternal grand parents house we came back home to our father where we learned and overheard that it was my mother who asked for a divorce from my father. We were shocked to hear this new information and we also heard them saying how can my mother be so cruel for leaving her children and not agreeing to take us with her. They were also saying is freedom more to her than her children. Did she even loved us and my dad?

Every information, every news brought tears to our eyes and shattered our little heart. So many questions started emerging in our mind like was it our fault that she wanted to divorce our father; because as far as I remember I never saw my parents fighting I only saw how they loved eachother and how my father cared fulfilled her every wish.

So what was the reason for the divorce that was big question.

Later that night my dad asked us if my mother said anything to us about her absence and why she is not here with us and we told our dad what conversation we had with our mom. He questioned us if we knew what divorce was and we answered by nodding and saying two people living separately after marriage; you see me and my brother were really smart plus we use to watch lots of movies that's how we came to know about the word divorce and the meaning of it but we never knew what we watched in movie we would be experiencing the same as well.

The same night another bomb was dropped that my mother gave full custody of us to my father that she was not willing to take us her with her when we heard this we did not know how to react coz each and every time of that day we kept hearing new things thus we understood what my cousin's were talking about " my mother being cruel and not agreeing to take us with her" statement. We were so crushed, exhausted and tired by crying but still we wept from broken heart; we wept for our mother; we wept for our broken family.

We never understood why my mom decided to leave us coz my father never mistreated her, he was always sweet and loving towards her. My dad loved her so much that he forgave every mistake she did; he accepted her with her flaws and fulfilled her every wish and demand.

I remember my father telling us that when she asked for permission to work he let her work even she did not need to. He gave her freedom to pursue and fulfill her dreams and be independent. He never stopped or restricted my mother to do anything. He always dotted her, supported her and became her backbone.

He made her dream true of studying in USA by agreeing to send her there and pursue her further studies for a year or two. He was always there for her no matter what happened.

As far as we know my father was good man, a loving husband and loving father so what was the reason for the divorce the same question kept looming in our mind, It was the big question for us.

We were too small for finding our answer or for anyone to give us a reason. Everybody gave their own theory and lie about the divorce upon asking nobody wanted to tell us the exact reason. I guess at that time being a child somehow had some disadvantage for us.

My father said that my relatives did warned him about giving my mother too much freedom but he never listened to them. Even my dad's friend warned him but he did not care.

Oh! I remember there were several occasion of her leaving us alone with our dad; like the time when she left us to go to USA for further studies I cried and begged her not to go and take me with her or the time she left us for 2 3 days to spend time with her friends.

Or when she decided to send us to boarding school even when my father was against it.

I guess she was cruel and stone hearted like my relatives said coz we use to beg her not to leave us alone but she never cared I guess.

When we were together I also remember her being a loving and caring mother who fulfilled our every demand, cooked for us, bath us; worried for us when we got sick; dotted us with so much love that we never thought that one day our mother never wanted us and leave us alone to grow with pity, criticism and sympathy.

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