Its so quiet now.
A couple days without hearing anything about the Ripper has given me time to rest. I can’t regain anything I’ve lost, my sanity is gone, my friends are gone, my family is gone. I’ve seen the worst happen. I’m on my own now, and I can’t think of anything or anyone that I needed right now. I’m just alone.
I guess I was okay with that. Sure I lost my family, and my home, and everything I care about. I lost whatever innocence I had left and peaceful thinking. I still can’t sleep, I keep the lights on because being in the dark scares me. Sure I also have problems eating and anything that involves food and drinking, but I’ll get back to normal again. Hopefully I’m not permanently scarred.
I have bruises on my body. My neck shows everything I’ve been through. The scar where Vixon bit off my skin is dark and still healing, the bruises are still dark on my skin, but it should heal in time. I wasn’t worried. I just can’t go out with these marks. Soon, I won’t be able to keep wearing sweaters and jackets, it will get hot but by then, most my scars should be healed. My stomach is getting better too. I’m still a little sore but I don’t mind it.
I didn’t know how quiet things could be where I lived.
I didn’t have to be scared of anything happening here. People know the Ripper but they aren’t scared because nothing has happened here. I can walk around freely and finally be normal. If anything, I know I’m going to need a job because I know I won’t have enough money to live long. The police force back home was kind enough to get me help just to move here and survive for a month but I have to get on my feet and do things myself.
I haven’t worked in a while, it should be nice to do something for once.
All that matters is that I’m not scared.
Its all going to be okay.
The night doesn’t bother me so much when I’m outside. I can walk around and get fresh air. When I turn corners, I don’t have to fear someone being dead or headless. The cold air helps me, but not the wound on my neck. I usually just tie a small white scarf around my neck, but I’ve been getting suggestive questions about that; too bad I didn’t get a hardened face from my father. The scarf keeps me warmer. I need it so I don’t feel pain either.
The lights were dimming now as I got closer to my apartment. The stars in the sky were brightly lit, enough for me to feel relief from being here alone. I’ve had a long day. All my days are long. They’re bearable too. I can take it.
It was quiet.
My neck sort of throbbed a bit. I rubbed over the fabric of the scarf, feeling how sore I was. It’s something I can take care of later.
As I walked by a street lamp, it flickered until it stopped and the light went out. I stared up at it; I didn’t wonder anything. I just stared at it in the silence. Then I thought about leaving, it was like an immediate response; I really should get home, its already dark enough.
Before I could take another step, I was thrown against the concrete wall of a building that had all it’s lights out. I couldn’t wrap my mind about what just happened. And before I could hit the ground, I was pinned against the wall, being held tightly by my neck. The pain shocked me when I felt the grasp. I couldn’t even scream.
“Did you think you could actually get away from me.”
I hadn’t heard that voice in weeks.
I panicked as I tried to get away but I couldn’t. It’s like I finally remembered what it was like to be scared again, and it’s the worst I’ve felt.
My peace is over.
“I’m not that merciful, Darcy, I hope you know that.” he said lowly, glaring at me with his red eyes.
He wasn’t supposed to come back. He shouldn’t be here, he shouldn’t be torturing me. He shouldn’t have me by my neck in some alley at night. This shouldn’t be happening to me.
He brought his face to my neck, sniffing me deeply as his hand loosened just a bit so I could get in air; the scarf on my neck dropped to my shoulder, then to the ground, leaving my skin exposed. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I gasped. Vixon still had me against the wall as he breathed in my scent. Goosebumps rose on my skin, shivers rippled down my spine as I thought of what he could do to me now.
“Oh I missed you.” he said, his breath shaking as if he was hungry. I held on to my crying, keeping the tears back as I felt my throat tighten.
“P-please stop.” I begged quietly, my voice trembling.
“You smell so good.” he said as he completely let go of me. But he moved forward against me, pressing me on the concrete wall.
He shouldn’t be this close to me. This was fresh to me, so my reactions felt like they were brand new. I wanted to scream when he licked my neck but I didn’t get the chance to when he bit into my skin. Lucky for me, he didn’t bite where it would kill me. It just hurt just as much. His teeth seemed larger than I remember. He was able to dig so far deep into my neck and he was seconds away from really making me cry. Being bitten as hard as he was biting me made the tears weld in my eyes.
His hands gripped on my thighs, pulling my legs up around his waist as he pressed me more against the wall. His teeth let go of my skin but he only bit me again at my shoulder, not as hard as before but hard enough to make me cry out with pain.
He was pulling on my jeans, somehow he ripped my belt off without me noticing but I couldn’t black out the pain to focus on something as small as him moving my pants. The cold air hurt my skin but that was not the only pain I was feeling. He licked the wound over my shoulder and bit me again.
He kept biting me and biting me. Blood dripped from my wounds, staining my sweater. The white scarf would be useless in hiding everything else. He was biting me everywhere.
“Stop.” I breathed heavily as he licked the blood from my neck. He won’t stop. This was just a stupid attempt for me to realize what he was going to do to me.
But it sure was goddamn better than watching him kill someone, or feeling how hard he could choke me before crushing my bones and killing me. He’s not a gentle person either, I know that, but this was the sweetest he was ever going to be with me.
He moved his hips forward, and I felt the pain of him being inside me. He was going to be rough with me now. I don’t expect him to treat me kindly. I bit tightly on my lip as he kept moving in me, biting on my neck again, just some where different, causing me more pain.
The tears I had spilled over, more and more kept coming. I think I’m crying for more than a deeper reason than just pain, the pain tipped my sanity over. I can’t be alone again, Vixon is back and now he’s going to make everything worse for me. The pain doesn’t frighten me, what Vixon could do to me here frightens me.
“Stop-” I tried again, breathing in deeply, the cold air piercing my lungs.
I was tired and I was barely able to stay conscious either. My vision was blurring but I was still alive, I could still feel Vixon moving inside me, I could still feel his teeth in me, his breath on me, his hands grasping tightly on my legs as he held me against the wall. I was suffering. I was still scared, I still wanted to get away, I wanted to hide, and cry till I couldn’t breathe.
Vixon’s hand made it in my hair, holding my head just as I felt his lips on my face, breathing lightly on me. I wanted so badly to close my mouth, but I couldn’t breathe. With the way my heart was beating, I wouldn’t make it without being able to breathe. Vixon had a fist full of my hair in his hand, and he kept me conscious enough to feel him kiss my face and behind my ear, and bite my neck again.
There was blood all over me.
All this pain was driving me insane. I would have screamed, but it was too much strength and I didn’t have it. I lost all the will to fight, but I should have lost it the second Vixon grabbed me. Did I make it too easy?
I know I can’t take anymore. Vixon caused me too much pain. I can’t take him biting me, and thrusting into me, and pulling on my hair so hard that he could give me a headache. I gave up and that was it for me.
There was no way I would be able to endure Vixon’s torture on me.
I only wanted my peace of mind.
I didn’t wake up on the ground in cold sweat, I wasn’t in some hospital somewhere, I woke up in my bathroom, in my bath tub. I was leaning against it, and the cold pearl white marble made me feel a little better since was I still so hot. There was blood on my clothes, the same clothes I was wearing earlier.
My head throbbed as I tried to move. My shoulder was stiff. I couldn’t feel my neck. Yet, none of this was what I focused on.
Vixon knows where I live.
I didn’t doubt that he would find me, but I wanted to because the days I had of silence were perfect. Now its over and I can’t take it.
I rubbed my eyes, almost crying from the stress. Everything is turning into hell again and I won’t be able to survive it. Vixon will kill me. I grabbed the edges of my tub as I tried to get out. My body was too sore to move.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Vixon asked me. I hadn’t seen him sitting on the bathroom counter.
My fingers pressed on the edge of the tub. I could say anything. I could answer with anything. I know Vixon, after all this, he wouldn’t do anything to end his fun too quickly.
“To bed.” I answered, being hostile.
Out of all the places he could bring me, he chooses my bath tub. Is he going to drown me in blood? Or would he fill it with a bunch of body parts?
“I would stay down if I were you.” he said, not paying attention to me.
“What are you doing here? Why do you keep following me around?” I asked quickly, holding myself up in the tub. For the first time, I was standing my ground.
He looked at me slowly, his brown eyes showing no care as he scanned my face. I will get no answer from him, he’s only doing this for fun. Then he cocked his head to the side, his hands clutching tightly on the counter as he looked at me.
Then he was right in front of me, holding on to the edge of the white tub just as I let go, drawing back from his sudden speed and space invasion. It scared me how quickly he was in my face, I practically hit the wall.
“Would you like me to put you out of your misery?” he asked me slowly, looking down at my neck then back into my eyes. His turned bright red as he bore his fangs. “I can kill you now if you want me to.” he said.
I should’ve said yes.
“That’s what I thought.” he said right back at me as he got up, looking down at me with a smile on his face. He knows I won’t drastically do anything.
“Y-you can’t keep-”
“I can do what I want.” he said over me. “It won’t be fun to have your limbs on the floor, Darcy.” he said to me as a warning.
Why does he do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?
“It was a little lonely without you.” Vixon hopped up on the counter again. “I had no one to laugh with.” he sighed, but corrected himself, “well, laugh at.”
Is that what he thinks of me?
“You have the best expressions.” he shook his head.
I couldn’t speak. The breath I took was shaky, and when I thought I had found my voice, my body warned me not to do anything. I stayed in the tub and was careful because I didn’t know what kind of mood Vixon was in. It could be anything.
“I’m actually disappointed that I couldn’t surprise you.” he continued plainly as I looked around. “I know how much you love heads.” he said.
I bit the inside of my lip to hide m shock.
Do I take his word for it and get scared? No. He wouldn’t...that’s too easy. He’s not a type for just words, he’d show me if he really wanted me to see.
I tried to get out of the tub even though he warned me not to. My hands gripped tightly on the tub as I lifted my body up, feeling the pain in my chest and shoulders. This pain was not fair. None of it was fair. I made it out and used my own legs to walk. It hurt but I can’t show weakness for a little dull pain, I am not that weak.
I was thankful to not have blood on everything. Everything I have here is white; the bed, sheets, walls, tables, chairs, everything. I didn’t pick any of these, white would have never been my first choice, but everything set like this was done for me out of good will. Now that Vixon is back, I can expect to see my walls dripping with blood.
My thoughts are the only place that’s safe, yet I think the darkest things.
Out of everything I’ve seen, I won’t be surprised if I think darkly. The way I’ve seen humans mutilated and destroyed is enough to make me go insane, enough to make me cringe and flinch. My thoughts aren’t always safe. I know that now.
I stood in the middle of my room, just staring at the wall until I heard Vixon behind me, shocking me out of my trance. He walked by quietly, leaving my room. He’s going to do something I don’t want him to. I don’t want this place to become what it was before where I lived. I can’t keep staying in constant fear, it hurts me.
“Please don’t kill anyone.” I said quietly, my hands tightening by my side.
It was out of place for me to ask him to show mercy. I want to know when he will stop and if I could make him. I don’t have that much hope, knowing everything that has happened, but I want Vixon to stop. I’m tired of everything that has happened.
“Mercy is not my style.” He said as he got to the door.
He doesn’t care. He will never care.
“I’m sure you’d get bored, too, Darcy.” he said, glancing back at me. “Since when are you scared of someone who was merciful?” he asked before walking out.
He wants to be that monster. He doesn’t want me to change the way I think about him. To him, it won’t be fun. To me, I might gain that hope I’m longing for.
I will lose everything tonight. All that I’ve worked hard to gain, I’ll lose it. I didn’t get far with anything because I’m still too weak. I had gotten lucky to at least heal a bit, but I can’t leave because Vixon will find me, and he will hurt me like he’s been doing to me for a while.
I hate all this.
I couldn’t sleep, even if I kept the lights on. I stayed curled up in bed as I stared at my white walls that will soon be stained red. That’s all I could look at. I was tired, but if I close my eyes I would get nightmares like usual, that’s why I couldn’t sleep. The fear I have resting inside me awakened to Vixon coming back, now it made it hard to do anything. Vixon is my nightmare, my living nightmare. Not even sleep could get me away from reality.
What did I do to get myself into this?
If I don’t perk up, it will just be hard for me to live. Its hard enough when I can barely do anything for myself.
My life is a nightmare.
What am I still doing here?